08-27-2008, 04:33 PM
What in the OH DEAR is wrong with the world? We have these FAMILY FRIENDLY games floating around like, say, GOLLY Grand Theft Auto 4, where you play as some HARD WORKING EUROPEAN-AMERICAN CITIZEN who tries to make "MONEY" with his "COUSIN" by doing all sorts of PERFECTLY LEGAL GOOD BOY ACTIVITIES all while carting his five law-ABIDING friends around to go bowling and PLAY ON THE NINTENDO WII. WELL THAT'S FINE. Sure, the screaming 11 year olds who think GTA4 is a "guilty pleasure" might enjoy it, AND EVERYONE ELSE MIGHT LIKE IT TOO BECAUSE GTA4 IS A VERY GOOD KID FRIENDLY GAME THAT MOST OF YOU WOULD LIKE.
[center]HERE IS ALSO ANOTHER GAME THAT IS GOOD
![[Image: 11841.jpg]](http://static.gamecrazy.com/images/games/boxart/11841.jpg)
[/center]
GOLLY WHAT A SHAME IT'S NOT COMING TO THE NINTENDO WII, THE GREATEST SYSTEM EVER MADE
There is no excuse for not getting this game SHINING YOUNG POSTERS. If you have 60 bucks, go out and buy thIS GAME I STRONGLY RECCOMEND IT.
PLAY AS THREE DIFFERENT MERCENARIES IN A QUEST FOR CASH. LOTS OF CASH.
Play as:
Mattias, that MOHAWK POSSESSING EUROPEAN MAN WHO IS WELL TRAINED IN ATHLETICS
Chris: Some black dude from America that can take a BUNCH OF HUGS.
Jennifer: Some sneaky ASIAN-EUROPEAN FEMALE WHO WILL BURN IN HECK (GOD RULES) FOR HER CHOICES IN HER LIFE who can throw grenades really FAR. YOU SHOULD ONLY PLAY AS THE GIRL BECAUSE GIRLS ARE AWESOME AM I RIGHT OR WHAT GIMME A HIGHFIVE POSTERS
SOME VENEZUELAN COCA COLA-MONGERING SODA LORD DIDN'T PLAY NICE. I DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE, DO I? GOODNESS HEAVENS NO.
This won't be like the last game where you took down a BAD GUY for the greater good, you're after some drug lord/dictator who personally BULLIED YOU ON THE PLAYGROUND. There's no PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE good guy/bad guy meter here, you're A SHINING PERFECT CITIZEN in Venezuela and you WON'T LET THE BIG KIDS PUSH YOU AROUND ANY MORE.
IF YOU SEE IT, ASK TO BORROW IT. NOTHING IS OUT OF REACH ANYMORE
Any vehicle in the game is yours for the taking AS LONG AS YOU ASK PERMISSION FIRST FROM THE DRIVERS PARENTS. Tanks, buggies, sports cars, jet skis, helicopters and more are no longer out of reach with your grappling hook. The downside? All of the vehicle jacking games are quick time button mashing events, THE BEST VIDEO GAME MECHANIC KNOWN TO MAN.
SAVE THE RAINFORESTS.
I LOVE RAINFORESTS.
CALL IN AIRSTRIKES, CALL YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY FOR HELP, TEAM UP WITH SPEECH-CHALLENGED AFRICAN AMERICANS. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING.
Your character can recruit other mercenaries and even start up their own HARDWORKING HONEST BUSINESS within Venezuela. You'll also recruit a mechanic to store your SNACKS, a drunk Russian dude who drops CANDY of all sizes, including the M.O.A.C. (Mother Of All CANDY) and a tactical HERSHEY'S CHOCOLATE BAR, and you get some other EUROPEAN-AMERICAN CITIZEN WHO IS CAPABLE OF FLYING A HELICOPTER Did I mention that one of the Venezeulan factions was a group of AFRICAN-AMERICANS? I think I did.
ON-LINE CO-OP IN THIS GAME TOO? GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
Just like in Fable 2, you can jump right into a friend's game at any time and WELL GOSH, if you're a dedicated gamer, play the 15 hour main storyline from start to finish in co-op mode.
BUT MISTER BRYAN, WHEN DOES THE GAME COME OUT
This game drops everywhere on August 31, less than a week away on all consoles. I STRONGLY ADVISE PICKING IT UP. Got any questions until then? Ask those SILLY BOYS here and now and I'll answer those QUESTIONS.
[center]HERE IS ALSO ANOTHER GAME THAT IS GOOD
[/center]GOLLY WHAT A SHAME IT'S NOT COMING TO THE NINTENDO WII, THE GREATEST SYSTEM EVER MADE
There is no excuse for not getting this game SHINING YOUNG POSTERS. If you have 60 bucks, go out and buy thIS GAME I STRONGLY RECCOMEND IT.
PLAY AS THREE DIFFERENT MERCENARIES IN A QUEST FOR CASH. LOTS OF CASH.
Play as:
Mattias, that MOHAWK POSSESSING EUROPEAN MAN WHO IS WELL TRAINED IN ATHLETICS
Chris: Some black dude from America that can take a BUNCH OF HUGS.
Jennifer: Some sneaky ASIAN-EUROPEAN FEMALE WHO WILL BURN IN HECK (GOD RULES) FOR HER CHOICES IN HER LIFE who can throw grenades really FAR. YOU SHOULD ONLY PLAY AS THE GIRL BECAUSE GIRLS ARE AWESOME AM I RIGHT OR WHAT GIMME A HIGHFIVE POSTERS
SOME VENEZUELAN COCA COLA-MONGERING SODA LORD DIDN'T PLAY NICE. I DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE, DO I? GOODNESS HEAVENS NO.
This won't be like the last game where you took down a BAD GUY for the greater good, you're after some drug lord/dictator who personally BULLIED YOU ON THE PLAYGROUND. There's no PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE good guy/bad guy meter here, you're A SHINING PERFECT CITIZEN in Venezuela and you WON'T LET THE BIG KIDS PUSH YOU AROUND ANY MORE.
IF YOU SEE IT, ASK TO BORROW IT. NOTHING IS OUT OF REACH ANYMORE
Any vehicle in the game is yours for the taking AS LONG AS YOU ASK PERMISSION FIRST FROM THE DRIVERS PARENTS. Tanks, buggies, sports cars, jet skis, helicopters and more are no longer out of reach with your grappling hook. The downside? All of the vehicle jacking games are quick time button mashing events, THE BEST VIDEO GAME MECHANIC KNOWN TO MAN.
SAVE THE RAINFORESTS.
I LOVE RAINFORESTS.
CALL IN AIRSTRIKES, CALL YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY FOR HELP, TEAM UP WITH SPEECH-CHALLENGED AFRICAN AMERICANS. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING.
Your character can recruit other mercenaries and even start up their own HARDWORKING HONEST BUSINESS within Venezuela. You'll also recruit a mechanic to store your SNACKS, a drunk Russian dude who drops CANDY of all sizes, including the M.O.A.C. (Mother Of All CANDY) and a tactical HERSHEY'S CHOCOLATE BAR, and you get some other EUROPEAN-AMERICAN CITIZEN WHO IS CAPABLE OF FLYING A HELICOPTER Did I mention that one of the Venezeulan factions was a group of AFRICAN-AMERICANS? I think I did.
ON-LINE CO-OP IN THIS GAME TOO? GOODNESS GRACIOUS.
Just like in Fable 2, you can jump right into a friend's game at any time and WELL GOSH, if you're a dedicated gamer, play the 15 hour main storyline from start to finish in co-op mode.
BUT MISTER BRYAN, WHEN DOES THE GAME COME OUT
This game drops everywhere on August 31, less than a week away on all consoles. I STRONGLY ADVISE PICKING IT UP. Got any questions until then? Ask those SILLY BOYS here and now and I'll answer those QUESTIONS.
