Hi self harm, I forgot how good you felt.

Welp, I walked outside barefoot to grab something and I stepped on a fully grown cicada, now I have to scubb the bug bits off of the bottom of my foot.

I hate the Summer/Early Autum time Because of this.

Oh great, another night where I'm woken up at 3am and can't get back to sleep.

I've been taking antacids, I don't smoke, very rarely drink alcohol, very rarely drink coffee or soda, but I do eat a lot dairy though, not sure how much of that I can cut out but I'll try.

The back pain existed after I woke up from a nap, and was almost gone and fading away after a nap a few days later.

Spending an hour on a maths question that makes no sense can be really annoying. I mean it's a quadratic equation that should be solvable by simply factorising, but I'm pretty darn sure there aren't two (whole) numbers that can add to give -4 and multiply to give 12.
Most of the time I've normally written or calculated something incorrectly earlier on but it looks like it's all correct. Most likely it's something that will look painfully obvious tomorrow. Or it's yet ANOTHER typo in the school booklets.

EDIT: Thinking like a coder, I figured I could debug my calculations, since I had a graph that clearly showed the x values I'd end up with (of course the question was asking to prove it algebraically). So with code I always trace the output in each of my steps until it traces something that shouldn't be there, which is where the problem is. Same here: I replaced x with one of the x values on the graph, and once it didn't comply with my equation I knew it was incorrect, and focused on finding a flaw in my equation. I had to do this a few times but eventually I ended up with a solvable quadratic, which also gave me the x values seen on the graph.
I really should try to make less mistakes in my equations though

Might have lost my job at Kohls.
I thought I was scheduled tonight and tomorrow night, but it turns out I was scheduled last night and tonight. So I never showed up or called in.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Oh and 3 people quit Saturday night at my other job, so now I'm going to have an insane amount of work pushed onto me on our busiest month of the year.

Listening to Blink 182 is making me incredibly sad bringing back all the memories of days long since gone...

Welp, seems like my family is out to ruin my labtop. So I was stuck reinstalling everything after I had to set it back to factory setting. I've lost everything I didn't make a backup of. Well at least I backed up my important things & programs.

Again, I've had to endure another day full of mostly unrelenting headaches. I'm not expecting to get much sleep tonight because of this.

Due to my ecig being confiscated by my parents and how how out of balance I get without a nicotine pacifier, I bought a pack of clove cigarillos. It feels good to be at ease again, but now i have to deal with smelling of cigarettes and having to smoke the entire thing in one go again, and it's at a lower nicotine mg rate so I'll have to smoke more consecutively to be satisfied.

I hate life.

(09-06-2012, 05:33 PM)м▲я✞H Wrote: Due to my ecig being confiscated by my parents and how how out of balance I get without a nicotine pacifier, I bought a pack of clove cigarillos. It feels good to be at ease again, but now i have to deal with smelling of cigarettes and having to smoke the entire thing in one go again, and it's at a lower nicotine mg rate so I'll have to smoke more consecutively to be satisfied.

I hate life.

I'm not your mummy or daddy so it's not up to me to tell you what legal substances you can or can't use, so let's assume I've gone over the whole "smoking is bad for you" bit here.
If you're already a smoker you no doubt know all that stuff anyway, I'd only really push it if you were just picking up the habit.

But I'm confused all up in here, if it's the nicotine hit you're after why on earth did you get cigarillos? That's madness.

Smoking a cigarette and smoking a cigar or cigarillo are two very different things, cigarettes are way more of an effective nicotine kick because you actually inhale the smoke and it goes right to your lungs and into your bloodstream.
You aren't supposed to inhale when you smoke a cigar, the smoke is way too thick and harsh, you'll just make your lungs feel like they've been shredded and turn your stomach upside down, so the amount of nicotine that you take in from the smoke is way lower and doesn't get into your system as fast.

thank you, dear brother, for taking the play disk for a whole week, not even playing the game, then yelling profanities when I ask for it back.

(09-06-2012, 08:03 PM)PatientZero Wrote:

(09-06-2012, 05:33 PM)м▲я✞H Wrote: Due to my ecig being confiscated by my parents and how how out of balance I get without a nicotine pacifier, I bought a pack of clove cigarillos. It feels good to be at ease again, but now i have to deal with smelling of cigarettes and having to smoke the entire thing in one go again, and it's at a lower nicotine mg rate so I'll have to smoke more consecutively to be satisfied.

I hate life.

I'm not your mummy or daddy so it's not up to me to tell you what legal substances you can or can't use, so let's assume I've gone over the whole "smoking is bad for you" bit here.
If you're already a smoker you no doubt know all that stuff anyway, I'd only really push it if you were just picking up the habit.

But I'm confused all up in here, if it's the nicotine hit you're after why on earth did you get cigarillos? That's madness.

Smoking a cigarette and smoking a cigar or cigarillo are two very different things, cigarettes are way more of an effective nicotine kick because you actually inhale the smoke and it goes right to your lungs and into your bloodstream.
You aren't supposed to inhale when you smoke a cigar, the smoke is way too thick and harsh, you'll just make your lungs feel like they've been shredded and turn your stomach upside down, so the amount of nicotine that you take in from the smoke is way lower and doesn't get into your system as fast.

I hadn't gotten my paycheck yet so I couldn't afford a pack of actual cigarettes. I was honestly just that desperate for nicotine. You see, I was previously vaping 36mg of nicotine and going through ehhh anywhere from half a tank on a good day to 4 tanks on a bad day. (each tank is 1ml, equal to about 6-7 cigarettes). After going a few days without it, and how it's now become almost a necessity to keep my broken mental state in a safe zone I was starting to lose it. Out of fear of an episode I went to the nearest and bought the best I could afford.

Normally this wouldn't be an issue but I'm trying to stay away from alcohol because it's frowned upon being drunk at age 18 and I struggle with alcoholism and other drug abuse(however I've been clean of the latter for quite some time). Not to mention being completely wired on it makes an episode far worse if it does occur during the intoxication.

Now that I have a paycheck and found out my parents didn't confiscate the charger nor my second battery and a few liquids I'm going to order some cartomizers for my electronic cigarette so this really shouldn't be too much of an issue anymore.
(just so I don't come off as more broke than I am, I deposit 90% of my paycheck into my account weekly, my new debit card isn't in yet so I couldn't access the funds and again as I have no car it's near impossible for me to reach a bank in a timely manner).

I'm working around 80 hours this week in between both jobs. On one hand, YEAAAHHHH MONEY, but on the other hand, oh jesus multiple 13-15 hour days NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I'm going to be completely exhausted and I may end up working next Sunday anyways, not being able to see Devin Townsend. If that happens I'm probably going to cry.
EDIT: Not being able to go to sleep until 6 or 7 in the morning everynight is sooo Wonderful

Look on the bright side, at least your making money for your Slave labor.