So I let my mom know I'm depressed and had considered killing myself. Insults directed and everything later, and I'm essentially kicked out of my home and have to find something on my own. I have a coworker that will probably let me move in, but... I'm fucking scared. All I was looking for was help, a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to. Instead, my own mother doesn't want me around, she let her boyfriend call me a fucking cunt and tell me to go to hell when I came in tonight to just get a couple things for the night and didn't defend me at all.

I told her I wanted to kill myself; I hope she isn't too surprised when I do.

Please don't do that. I'm sure things will be better for you if you can move in with that person.

I'll try not to, but when you already wanted to and your only family's reaction is to throw you to the sharks and not even care... it's hard not to think it's for the best.

Devi, please don't. I've been there, I have tried it. Obviously it didn't work, and nothing can describe the immense amount of pain you go through (especially if you're me and you didn't do it right). Things do get better Family's are usually not really understanding about this, and from my experience as well they don't even want to help because they don't know what to do. The initial reaction is to be offensive to you to remove the blame from themselves.

I have a list of mental health issues and I can tell you, my family has not helped me in the slightest get the proper help for them and I truly wonder where I would be or how my life would be if I actually did get the proper help sooner. Go get help, move in with that friend and get away from your family for the time being. But whatever you do, DO NOT HARM OR ATTEMPT TO KILL YOURSELF.

Devicho I've listened to your stories for far too long, and all I have to say is... what the fuck is wrong with your mother! There I said it.

I'm sorry but your mom sounds like a total asshole. I don't know the whole story, but I cannot fathom why a mother would be like that to her child! This pisses me off that your own mother would treat you like this in such a vulnerable state.

That's just... heinous.

I don't like to talk about someone else's parents in such a way but this is the last straw.

Like most people, I've thought about the possibility of killing myself. But every time I think about it I also think about 1) how horrible it'd be for everybody I know 2) I have no idea what happens after I die which is pretty darn freaky and 3) I have a life so I will make the best use of it I can. If life looks bad I'm sure things will turn my way sooner or later, and if not then at least I tried.

In short, throwing away a life is like throwing away a great pie: everybody who knew of its existence will be like "WHAT THE HELL", you have no idea what kind of things will happen to it, and basically a HUGE waste. You should eat it instead of chucking it in the bin, even if some bits might be a bit salty or chunky.

(09-27-2012, 10:13 PM)Devicho Wrote: So I let my mom know I'm depressed and had considered killing myself. Insults directed and everything later, and I'm essentially kicked out of my home and have to find something on my own. I have a coworker that will probably let me move in, but... I'm fucking scared. All I was looking for was help, a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to. Instead, my own mother doesn't want me around, she let her boyfriend call me a fucking cunt and tell me to go to hell when I came in tonight to just get a couple things for the night and didn't defend me at all.

I told her I wanted to kill myself; I hope she isn't too surprised when I do.

Sadly this isn't an uncommon reaction. I'm not saying it's right but she's obviously hurt as she'll feel as she's failed as a mother. Emotion has jumped before logic and caused a lot of damage, hopefully some time in the future she'll see what a terrible thing she's done, whether you forgive her or not is another thing. It's an awful awful thing but for now I'd try and put it far out of your mind.

I think most people here have had some experience with suicide and/or depression. I suffered from it towards the end of Uni and my girlfriend suffered from it terribly for years before I met her, and recently sunk back into it (which also added all the trouble I mentioned sometime ago elsewhere on here), and a good friend killed himself before his 21st some years ago. No warning or note, it's a strange emotion when I think about it.

The loss of life is a terrible thing, especially by one's own hand. It's not an easy journey to get out of the mindset of hopelessness but there's always a future as long as you allow yourself to have it. It's just a case of living for now, one day at a time just getting to the next day while your mind can make some plan of action.

Best of luck, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

(09-27-2012, 10:13 PM)Devicho Wrote: So I let my mom know I'm depressed and had considered killing myself.

Christ your mother is heartless. However just gonna say suicide is one of the worst decisions you could ever make. It's not worth even entertaining the thought. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Devicho, if you ever need someone to talk to, while it's only online, I'd be happy to help. If you need help financially, while I am scraping the barrel, I'd do anything to help a respected member of this community, and a friend.

You want to know what sucks after trying to have a good time when you are stoned?

Realizing that you can't trust someone who would otherwise be a potentially good friend when he encourages you to get higher when he isn't even stoned, fucking tries to video tape you when you're tripping, and yelling out a ton of shit trying to make me laugh so hard it'd be obvious that I am high.

Honestly this kid who messed with me last night can go fuck himself. I don't want to be friends with some dickhead who can't fucking shut his mouth when he needs to or tries to act like the cool kid in front of everyone by picking on a stoned kid. And you know what's funny? I gave him a chance when no one else would and he fucked it up, which I guess is what he fucking did to everyone else on campus to be hated so much. I hope this bastard realizes that he needs to change otherwise his year will be so much shittier than it already is.


edit:How the fuck did I put in thread instead of friend.

I am way more tired than I should be right now christ.

Well, It seems I somehow got a virus when I let my cousin use my PC,
The funny thing is that it's pretending to be the FBI, but it's even unnier since the spelling and grammer of it is extremely horrible.

I'm going to temporarily turn my internet off and scan it.

I am just

not doing well

(09-28-2012, 03:34 PM)Angel Plague Wrote: Well, It seems I somehow got a virus when I let my cousin use my PC,
The funny thing is that it's pretending to be the FBI, but it's even unnier since the spelling and grammer of it is extremely horrible.

I'm going to temporarily turn my internet off and scan it.

I've learned that letting other people use the computer tends to be a terrible idea. I got so much malware from my two brothers using my computers, it's not even funny

I haven't had a single instance of malware in over 4 years since they stopped using my computers. Funny how that works out, huh.

(09-28-2012, 04:21 PM)Phaze Wrote:

(09-28-2012, 03:34 PM)Angel Plague Wrote: Well, It seems I somehow got a virus when I let my cousin use my PC,
The funny thing is that it's pretending to be the FBI, but it's even unnier since the spelling and grammer of it is extremely horrible.

I'm going to temporarily turn my internet off and scan it.

I've learned that letting other people use the computer tends to be a terrible idea. I got so much malware from my two brothers using my computers, it's not even funny

I haven't had a single instance of malware in over 4 years since they stopped using my computers. Funny how that works out, huh.

I know what you meant, I ussually moniter what my cousin does since I payed like $500 on my Laptop.
Also, I had to manually remove all of those shit files that came from the virus. it was a pain in the ass.

I accidentally used my unusual Big Country for crafting a new hat.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck