(11-06-2009, 06:11 AM)Kilgore Trout Wrote: This one's funny:
"Sobrang taba ng nanay mo, nagiging magalang ang kaniyang mga hita: 'mauna ka na!', 'hindi, mauna ka na!' "

(11-06-2009, 05:19 AM)TimeToPerish Wrote: Let's make this a thread, post Phrases, sayings or quotes that you like.
It can be funny, serious or anything.

Mine:
"You can't have everything....where would you put it?"

"When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

"An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'"

E:

"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure..."

George Carlin Wrote:Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

George Carlin Wrote:Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

George Carlin Wrote:The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

George Carlin Wrote:Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

(11-06-2009, 12:38 PM)Kilgore Trout Wrote: shut up translators won't save you now

(11-06-2009, 08:46 PM)Stooben Rooben Wrote: And now it's time for George Carlin to come in and kick this topic's ass.

George Carlin Wrote:Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

George Carlin Wrote:Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

George Carlin Wrote:The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

George Carlin Wrote:Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

Just a fraction of this man's awesome quotes.

(11-06-2009, 10:33 PM)Rökkan Wrote:

(11-06-2009, 08:46 PM)Stooben Rooben Wrote: And now it's time for George Carlin to come in and kick this topic's ass.

George Carlin Wrote:Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

George Carlin Wrote:Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

George Carlin Wrote:The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

George Carlin Wrote:Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

Just a fraction of this man's awesome quotes.

what is this man and where can I find more stuff of him

(11-06-2009, 10:33 PM)Rökkan Wrote: what is this man and where can I find more stuff of him

George Carlin Wrote:The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin Wrote:I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.