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Tell me how you think.Dont just say all poems suck.
Ghost, Ghost, full of pain
Crying out a bloody rain
Its body decays and rots
Once remembered but now not
When seen agian it wants to cause kane
One bite kills faster than a train
When devours the murderous host
All is well at least for the most
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Second stanza is awful, and the first line of it doesn't make sense. The first stanza is solid, though.
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Kills faster than a train?
A TRAIN?!
What the fuck?
Honestly.
Go get creativity.
It ran off somewhere.
∞
Nothing more or less useless than imagining that there is more to be done. Recall: no matter what is new there will always be these hands and these sandwiches. The enlightenment came and went and sliced bread was our creation— the best to be had. There can be no avenues of intellectual discord. We will always fold our food and put it into our mouths, long after our bodies forget what to do with it.
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(11-13-2008, 12:16 AM)Oddball Wrote: Kills faster than a train?
A TRAIN?!
What the fuck?
Honestly.
Go get creativity.
It ran off somewhere.
This but a little politer.
Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head.
Sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed.
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I made this back in 3rd grade so dont flip out about a bad poem. This is quite random but I got a D for it being to scary for 3rd graders.
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I don't think that's why you got a D...
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(11-17-2008, 06:00 PM)GrooveMan.exe Wrote: I don't think that's why you got a D...
mwahahahaha
Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head.
Sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed.
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(11-17-2008, 05:47 PM)megazario Wrote: random but I got a D for it being to scary for 3rd graders.
Apparently, all the children in your third grade class are pussies.
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(11-17-2008, 06:00 PM)GrooveMan.exe Wrote: I don't think that's why you got a D...
Everyone wanted to post this.
Not all poems suck. This one just does.
Also, what grade are you, and why are you showing old shit.
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No actually Rags they didn't care the teacher is just a fagget.
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lean 2 splel.
Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head.
Sweetness, I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed.
If I was a teacher I'd give you a 50 because only half the poem is really solid. Now that is an F. I think the teacher was being a bit more generous when they gave you a D.
M A C H I N E G U N
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/_▄︻し┻┳═一(いち)(いち) ┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨┣¨
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(11-18-2008, 04:08 PM)megazario Wrote: No actually Rags they didn't care the teacher is just a fagget.
fagot
but regardless
you suck
Why are you posting a 3rd grade poem and wanting criticisms? It says to post what we think of it.
What grade are you in?
∞
Nothing more or less useless than imagining that there is more to be done. Recall: no matter what is new there will always be these hands and these sandwiches. The enlightenment came and went and sliced bread was our creation— the best to be had. There can be no avenues of intellectual discord. We will always fold our food and put it into our mouths, long after our bodies forget what to do with it.
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dont know why everyone is bashing this so much
the first stanza realy inst that bad
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