Ready...AIM...Fire!

[DarkGrievous7145]

the following recently took place on the Crystalien Redux Web Chat (don't ask for link, pretty much private, primarily me and the lead dev/project owner use it)
So, I had aforementioned lead dev, also my my friend, make a program with SFML in C# to test a concept, failed... led to him running windows xp on a VM... to...what you're about to read.

[00:17:11] Josh: well
[00:17:20] Josh: I found the Windows XP Home Edition disk
[00:17:25] Josh: and I'm loading it into a VM
[00:179] Josh: but damn that disk/drive makes so much noise
[00:17:43] Josh: and it's 2AM... lol
[00:17:47] Josh: everyone else is sleeping
[00:18:51] *brian: xD
[00:19:04] *brian: sleep is for pussies!
[00:19:25] *brian:
[00:19:27] *brian: oh...
[00:19:29] *brian: nvm...
[00:19:40] Josh: lol

[Kosheh]

facebook, sooo i don't think copy/pasting works as well. ops

me: help
me: i'm at work
me: and my mom calls me up all MATTHEW HELP WE'VE FUCKED UP
me: OUR COMPUTER WANTS US TO CALL A PHONE NUMBER AND SAYS ITS GONNA DELETEE EVERYTHING AND JKFDHGKHG
me: i saved it B) but yeah. what
me: a way to start my day. lmao

my pal: Omg I'm dying

me: oh no
me: pls don't tell me the same thing just happened.

my pal: No because that's hilarious I can't fucktion

my pal: *function
me: FUCKTION

my pal: Wtf is a fucktion
me: NOW I'M DYING
me: IT'S THE BEST TYPO EVER THATS WHAT IT IS HFDJGH LMAO

[Struggleton!]

[5:52:11 PM] an ordinary ho: penis
[5:52:15 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: ok
[5:52:17 PM] Gors: ok
[5:52:19 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: this is ok
[5:52:20 PM] an ordinary ho: ok
[5:52:21 PM] Bruhter Exxon: ok
[5:52:23 PM] Garnet: ok
[5:52:23 PM] Gors: ok
[5:52:25 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: ok
[5:52:25 PM] Bruhter Exxon: ok
[5:52:27 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: ok
[5:52:28 PM] an ordinary ho: ok
[5:52:29 PM] Gors: ok
[5:52:30 PM] Bruhter Exxon: ok
[5:52:31 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: die

[Struggleton!]

[11:44:54 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: fooker
[11:44:57 PM] Larsenv: ikr
[11:45:05 PM] Larsenv: what's a fooker
[11:45:08 PM] Larsenv: fuker
[11:45:10 PM] Larsenv: fucker
[11:45:13 PM] Larsenv: :O
[11:45:17 PM] Larsenv: (swear)
[11:45:33 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: you fooker
[11:45:38 PM] Larsenv: ;(
[11:45:41 PM] Larsenv: fook u
[11:45:49 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: no fok u
[11:45:52 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: hate u
[11:45:53 PM] Larsenv: lol
[11:46:01 PM] Larsenv: alpha cure mom
[11:46:08 PM] Shade: wow such hostility chill out bros wow gosh dang
[11:46:21 PM] Larsenv: lol no hear
[11:46:24 PM] Larsenv: heat
[11:46:25 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: shade no one was talk to u fooker
[11:46:32 PM] Larsenv: lulz
[11:46:55 PM] Larsenv: oh crap the cops are here
[11:46:58 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: gg
[11:47:03 PM] That✯Truest✯Struggle: git gud fooker

[psychospacecow]

Me : Bro!
Bro : What?
Me : What do you call a baby from Hawaii? Baby on Board.
Norway? Baby on Fjord.
Orgrimmar? Baby for Horde.
Cleveland? Baby Power Cord.
A farm? Baby on Gourd.

Bro : sigh...

[Vipershark]

[2:10:08 AM] Vipershark: today i walked into class
[2:10:17 AM] Vipershark: and i wasn't late but i was one of the last people there
[2:10:34 AM] Vipershark: and the teacher was talking to the people in there about something semi-unrelated
[2:10:38 AM] Vipershark: former students or something
[2:10:47 AM] Vipershark: and as i was walking in the door he was like
[2:11:21 AM] Vipershark: "this kid used to come into class stoned every single day. i could tell right as he walked in the door"
[2:11:31 AM] Vipershark: and considering that i had literally just walked in the door, i was like
[2:11:39 AM] Vipershark: "are you talking about me again????"
[2:11:42 AM] Vipershark: and everyone laughed

[2:12:00 AM] Vipershark: and later on in the class
[2:12:12 AM] Vipershark: uh i use my laptop to take notes, we're allowed to have computers out
[2:12:17 AM] Vipershark: like 3/4ths of the class is on computers all period
[2:12:28 AM] Vipershark: anyway mine is a toshiba and of course has a big toshiba logo on it
[2:12:32 AM] Vipershark: so he refers to me as "toshiba"
[2:12:50 AM] Vipershark: so there was a boring part of class and i'm just kind of slightly zoned, looking at my computer
[2:12:55 AM] Vipershark: i'm listening but i don't really care
[2:13:07 AM] Vipershark: so he kind of stops because i'm clearly paying more attention to my computer
[2:13:10 AM] Vipershark: and he's like
[2:13:18 AM] Vipershark: "toshiba are you looking at porn over there?"
[2:13:34 AM] Vipershark: and without even looking up i just say "yeah" in a monotone voice and keep staring at my computer
[2:13:37 AM] Vipershark: and there's this pause
[2:13:45 AM] Vipershark: because nobody knows how to react
[2:13:50 AM] Vipershark: and then they all start laughing
[2:14:20 AM] Vipershark: a girl behind me was like "he said that so quickly!" to her friend
[2:14:25 AM] Vipershark: had that comedic timing nailed yo

[Garamonde]

A bit NSFWish:

JJ: you should play undertale claire
CB: if I failed itd be a blundertale
CB: but I wondertale if that fem boy would plundertail
CB: make me moan like thundertale
JJ: the porn tag of undertale on tumblr is undertail
CB: tear me asundertale
CB: then he hold me as we slumbertale
CB: after we sex ill give him my numbertale
CB: then I wont need a cucumbertale
CB: just take his lumbertale
CB: I'm running of rhymes. I'm going undertale
CB: idk if I could deepthroat or I might chundertale
D: jesus christ
D: sdfsdf
CB: i did the best i could
D: id make a rhyme but no
CB: why not
CB: elitist
D: its dirty
CB: don't be tsunderetale
JJ: if he were an elite he’d be a wondertale
CB: #bless

[Gors]

ITT: POST FUNNY CHATS

Kosheh
i get to go to another library today so i'm gonna leave work and
drive there
and get breakfast
u want any breakfast
ill buy it
Gors
why is it breakfast
Kosheh
because its 9am
but if you mean why is it called "breakfast"
Gors
does sonic even have breakfast
i mean it breaks fasts
it should break sonic
sonic can only have lunch and dinner
(i know that fasting is a thing)
Kosheh
you're breaking the "fast" - as in, deliberately not eating (usually for a cause)
"fast" can mean Sonic Speed!!!! or yeah. not eating
also
https://www.sonicdrivein.com/menu/152-breakfast
sonic DOES have breakfast
Gors
this is almost as bad as playing dominos over a pizza hut box
Kosheh
lmao
i gotta. go though so feel free to message me; i'll just respond once i get my breakfast
Gors
take pics of fast
i mean breakfast
can i just shorten it to bf
no wait
bf is another entirely different thing
imagine talking
and like
you say "i just ate bf"
that would be bad
it would arouse people

[Hiynastrike]

Mittens Jetters: show me the ut and su art btw

Notafox Ghost: I got this

*** Notafox Ghost opens MS Paint ***

RokuGurin: Heh

Notafox Ghost: http://i.imgur.com/cqnDjCO.jpg

Notafox Ghost: there you go

Mittens Jetters: idgi

RokuGurin: HAH

Notafox Ghost: Maybe you're not smort(read=12yearoldedgy) enough to understand it

Notafox Ghost: to begin to understand, you must first adopt the "knowledge"

Notafox Ghost: Everything was better when we were underevolved monkeys

Notafox Ghost: so proceed to throw every piece of technology out the window, it's poison

Notafox Ghost: then question your government, do you feel that as a 14 year old that the government is full of shady puppetmasters? Of course you do! Why question your superior intellect

Notafox Ghost: finally look at this image, how does it make you feel

Notafox Ghost: http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/7031513_700b.jpg

Notafox Ghost: compile all of that into your mind and plug in the computer that is now on the front lawn, and begin to appreciate the piece

[puggsoy]

[3:43:52 PM] ❄?☼♋♎: you're just jealous because I'm doing better than you
[3:44:21 PM] puggsoy: you don't know that you're doing better than me
[3:44:31 PM] ❄?☼♋♎: do you have a cp 850 flareon
[3:44:34 PM] RokuGurin: o 3o
[3:44:38 PM] puggsoy: no
[3:44:53 PM] ❄?☼♋♎: did you get to fly a drone'
[3:44:54 PM] puggsoy: i have something better but i'm not bragging about it because i wouldn't want to make you jealous
[3:45:13 PM] ❄?☼♋♎: what could possibly be better than a cp 850 flareon
[3:45:20 PM] ❄?☼♋♎: probably nothing'
[3:45:21 PM] puggsoy: a life
[3:45:26 PM] ❄?☼♋♎: odang
[3:45:34 PM] puggsoy: sic ('em) berrrrrrnnn
[3:45:40 PM] ❄?☼♋♎: no

[DarkGrievous7145]

was talking in gmail chat with my friend Josh about the not-protected assets server i found

(edited ever so slightly to flow better, and fix grammar errors)

me: still... so not normal to expose the server architecture...
Josh: yah
me: may as well call the directories
public/alsoPublic/stealFromHere/youMayBeVeryInterestedInTheContentsOfThisDirectory/
XD
Sent at 10:40 PM on Tuesday
Josh: lol

[Vipershark]

Vipershark: i'll accept 4k (unscaled) since it's so much larger but 1080p is too short and 1440p is just random
BAN ASSAULT GRANMAS: 1440p isn't random lol
BAN ASSAULT GRANMAS: it's 4xHD
Vipershark: right, because there is literally anything that uses that resolution
Vipershark: 720p is garbage and so is 1440
BAN ASSAULT GRANMAS: lots of phones are 1440p atm
Vipershark: fuck phones
BAN ASSAULT GRANMAS: lots of youtube vids are 1440p
Vipershark: fuck youtube vids that aren't 1080p or 4k
BAN ASSAULT GRANMAS: all games since like fucking 2005 support 1440p
Vipershark: fuck 2005

[Gors]

[Gors]

[18:38:09] Mighty Jetters: I wanna draw shit but drawing's hard
[18:38:15] Mighty Jetters: and intimidating
[18:38:52] Gors: draw a duck
[18:39:01] Gors: a duck lord
[18:39:36] Mighty Jetters: what the duck?
[18:39:42] Gors: yes
[18:39:43] Mighty Jetters: you motherducker I can't believe this
[18:39:56] Mighty Jetters: what a ducking dumb suggestion
[18:40:10] Gors: so you cant draw a duck?
[18:40:22] Gors: :J
[18:40:31] Mighty Jetters: I probably could
[18:40:35] Mighty Jetters: but only dumbducks would do that
[18:41:30] Gors: then write the most absurd story you can starring a cup of ovaltine and a pair of tweezers
[18:42:21] Mighty Jetters: easy tweezy
[18:42:27] Mighty Jetters: ...
[18:42:28] Mighty Jetters: idk
[19:14:53] Gors: i guess theres nothing you can do with a cup of ovaltine and tweezers i guess
[19:16:29] Mighty Jetters: yea lol
[19:19:15] Mighty Jetters: wait
[19:19:35] Mighty Jetters: you could use the tweezers to pluck mini marshmallows and place them articulately into the cup of ovaltine
[19:19:49] Mighty Jetters: there
[19:49:00 | Editado 19:52:22] Gors: "It was a cold wintry Tuesday night. My dry eyes, gazing at the TV screen, are almost unable to render a proper image of my favorite show. The bluriness in my sight was a hint: I had to sleep soon.

Slouching towards the kitchen, I take each step carefully as not to trip on anything. The dark and long corridor wasn't very inviting, and the low temperature felt like it was attacking my feet and limbs. It felt like walking on a fjord - two imponent walls, one at each side, and the door to the kitchen in front of me.

I reach for the light switch. The darkness goes away with a flip. It's now very bright and my eyes, still accostumed with the dim light of the TV screen, is suddenly assaulted by the glow of the lightbulb. Squinting my eyes to protect them, I thought to myself, "I think I'll make some hot milk."

My thin and bony hand reached for the milk carton. The cold - always my enemy - hurts my knuckles. With great effort, I grasped it and poured the contents to a tall, empty jam pot, which now serves as my drinking glass.

"Where's the Ovaltine" I murmured to myself. In these lonely nights, I am my own company...

It did not take too long to find the Ovaltine pack. The half-empty pack was hidden behind the jars of honey and sugar packs. It seemed like the pack looked for shelter, too. I smiled with this silly thought, dragged the blanket closer around me and opened the pack, which was fastened with a paperclip.

I didn't have any spoon nearby, so I tried to aim the pack's opening directly to the glass of milk. My tired arms and quasi-closed eyes had trouble pouring the sweet crunchy powder into the glass. I believe I dropped some of the powder on the table, but I didn't care. I was far too tired to think straight.

The poorly garnished Ovaltine drink started spinning. The microwave oven, already worn out due to many uses, does its job. After the last second ticked away, I grabbed the glass with care. My hot milk was complete.

As I pulled the glass closer to my chapped lips, I had a thought. "I think I still have mini marshmallows", I recalled. After opening three drawers, I found it. Sweet sugary miniature pillows, packed inside a colorful plastic with a cute design matching with the flavor of this treat.

Pulling a pair of tweezers out of my pocket, I carefully picked a marshmallow. The enduring cold tortured my fingers, but somehow I managed to firmly hold the tweezers, strong enough to not let the marshmallow fall, and gentle enough not to squeeze it.

With my weird manias manifesting, I tried to place the white sugar fluff exactly in the center of my glass's circumference. I always had this pet peeve that my personal things must be centered or even. My TV's volume level is always on 50, and I always avoid stepping on the divisions of my house's floor tiles. After a whole lifetime doing that, it feels like second nature.

There. The marshmallow is in the middle of my cup. Admiring its beauty, I put the tweezers back into my pocket and sat on a nearby chair. The marshmallow, much like my mind, melted away in the hot milk...

It is now Wednesday. The glass is still there, now ice cold. After re-heating it, I lamented, "It's a new day.""

[Gors]

[22:05:14] Mighty Jetters: damn
[22:05:22 | Editado 22:05:27] Mighty Jetters: this should be on ao3
[22:10:29] Gors: whats that
[22:10:37] Mighty Jetters: archive of our own
[22:10:58] Mighty Jetters: a site dedicated to hosting written pieces
[22:11:11] Gors: wait so
[22:11:15] Gors: ur telling me i should save this
[22:11:25] Gors: but it's just a joke text!!!
[22:12:01] Mighty Jetters: yea but it's actually well written lol
[22:12:06] Gors: LOL REALLY
[22:12:07] Mighty Jetters: oop gotta go
[22:12:07] Mighty Jetters: bowling
[22:12:07] Mighty Jetters: bbl
[22:12:12] Gors: shit
[22:12:33] Gors: well i hope you do exactly like the police force is doing here in brazil
[22:12:42 | Editado 22:14:28] Gors: lots of strikes
[22:24:50] Mighty Jetters: Pffpdfpff
[22:24:55] Mighty Jetters: Shall try
[22:25:03] Mighty Jetters: Omw now

---

[22:25:26] Mighty Jetters: Gors - Today 9:12 PM
> LOL REALLY
Yes tbph lol
[22:25:42] Mighty Jetters: Funny penis, well written
[22:25:46] Gors: ????
[22:25:47] Mighty Jetters: FUNNY PREMISE
[22:25:49] Mighty Jetters: WOW
[22:25:51] Gors: DFDPOFJSDOFJSDFOJSF
[22:25:52] Mighty Jetters: AUTOCORRECT
[22:25:53] Gors: H E L P
[22:25:59] Mighty Jetters: ADARSH FSDG
[22:26:07] Gors: THE SEXAMPLE HAS BEEN BEATEN
[22:26:26] Mighty Jetters: I'M THE SEXPERT NOW STEP ASIDE SEXPAI
[22:26:31] Mighty Jetters: OH MY GOD
[22:26:42] Gors: O-OH
[22:26:43] Gors: s-so
[22:26:44] Gors: that's what
[22:26:48] Gors: you want from m-me huh
[22:26:57] Mighty Jetters: :J
[22:27:02] Gors: w-well if this
[22:27:06] Gors: makes you feel good and
[22:27:12] Gors: a-aaa
[22:27:16] Mighty Jetters: Teach me your ways, sexsei...
[22:27:38] Gors: well when a senpai and a kouhai love each other too much, they...