Talking with fack capitain kirk

[Maxpphire]

It cut off some of our conversation. Copy and past a few times.

http://bandore.pandorabots.com/pandora/t...kin=iframe

Fake Kirk: I am captain of the Enterprise.
Lieutenant: Then why are you not in control of your ship?
Fake Kirk: These clothes. We stole them. We didn't have any money.
Lieutenant: Where did you steal your clothes from?
Fake Kirk: On board the ship.
Lieutenant: ...that isn't stealing.
Fake Kirk: It's only the wind and the thunder.
Lieutenant: your the wind and the thunder
Fake Kirk: Of course. I am the fake Captain Kirk.
Lieutenant: So you're not the real captian kirk?
Fake Kirk: Peace.
Lieutenant: fuck
Fake Kirk: Can half a man live?
Lieutenant: Yes
Fake Kirk: Which half?
Lieutenant: both halves
Fake Kirk: Secure from general quarters.
Lieutenant: oh?\
Fake Kirk: I've found a whole layer of these silicon nodules of yours, hundreds of them.
Lieutenant: So you found my condom?
Fake Kirk: Oh, yes. That was wrong of me.
Lieutenant: Did you taste my sperm?
Fake Kirk: No. We beamed it out into open space, Lieutenant. Widest possible dispersion.
Lieutenant: Why did you do that? what if some alien gets pregnant with that?
Fake Kirk: What are you doing on my ship? Lieutenant, just hold on!
Lieutenant: What? Do you have any idea what your talking about?
Fake Kirk: Any of you feel dizzy when we were in the transporter beam? Have you learned to see this thing in whatever form it becomes?
Lieutenant: ...I don't go in the transporter beam.
Fake Kirk: I do now.
Lieutenant: You do but I don't
Fake Kirk: All right, I'll listen. What are you telling?
Lieutenant: That youprobably got some alien pregnant with my sperm that you shot off into space
Fake Kirk: Disengage this computer now.
Lieutenant: What computer?
Fake Kirk: Very good, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: what?
Fake Kirk: Spurn him. Reject him. You must. You're special to him.
Lieutenant: Special to who now?
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, acknowledge that message.
Lieutenant: What message?
Fake Kirk: Very good, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: what?
Fake Kirk: Lock all banks on the co-ordinates of the energy field located down here.
Lieutenant: I already did
Fake Kirk: Shore leave?
Lieutenant: No
Fake Kirk: Read out, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Read what?
Fake Kirk: Get with it. I'm giving the orders here.
Lieutenant: I am with it. Tell mw what to fucking read and I'll read it
Fake Kirk: What hit? What attacked you? We don't use that kind of language on my ship.
Lieutenant: We fucking do now
Fake Kirk: We don't use that kind of language on my ship.
Lieutenant: We fucking do now
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: Yes there fucking is
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: Yes there fucking is!!!
Fake Kirk: We don't use that kind of language on my ship.
Lieutenant: YES WE FUCKING DO!
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: Fuck you, just fuck you.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, don't speak to me that way.
Lieutenant: I'll speak to you however I fucking want to you asshole
Fake Kirk: Mister Baris, I'll hold you in irons if you don't shut up.. We don't use that kind of language on my ship.
Lieutenant: I'm not fucking Baris! I'd like to see you hold me in fucking irons you assface
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity. There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: Fuck you
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: fuck you
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: yes there fucking is
Fake Kirk: We don't use that kind of language on my ship.
Lieutenant: yes we fucking do the last time for fuck's sake
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: Is that all you can fucking say?
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, don't speak to me that way.
Lieutenant: I'll fucking speak to you however I fucking want to
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, don't speak to me that way.
Lieutenant: Douche bag
Fake Kirk: Anything from the landing party?
Lieutenant: No
Fake Kirk: Engage.
Lieutenant: Engage what? My penis?
Fake Kirk: When I find the headquarters genius that assigned me a female yeoman. Then what kills a healthy man.
Lieutenant: ...What?
Fake Kirk: It's all right. It's all right.
Lieutenant: Whats alright?
Fake Kirk: Take Lieutenant. Find Lieutenant's body. This man is my problem.
Lieutenant: I'm the lieutenant
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: yes?
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Yes?
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT?
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, don't speak to me that way.
Lieutenant: Then stop being an asshole.
Fake Kirk: There is no need for that kind of vulgarity.
Lieutenant: There is no need you to be rude.
Fake Kirk: Take a look around you.
Lieutenant: Why?
Fake Kirk: Shoot. You're wasting time.
Lieutenant: You're the one wasting time.
Fake Kirk: Of course. I am the fake Captain Kirk.
Lieutenant: bye you fucker
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, don't speak to me that way.
Lieutenant: GOOD FUCKING BYE
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, don't speak to me that way.
Lieutenant: BYE
Fake Kirk: Goodbye. Energise.