11-23-2009, 11:47 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2009, 12:34 AM by TomGuycott.)
Lieutenant: Captain, the begonias... they've gone stale!
Fake Kirk: Reverse power. Hold this position. Tell whoever gave those orders to report. I'm Captain Kirk of.
Lieutenant: Of what?
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, if you don't mind.
Lieutenant: Don't mind what!?... sir?
Fake Kirk: Explain. Turn the ship around. We're going home.
Lieutenant: You're not my dad! Don't talk to me like a child!
Fake Kirk: Peace. I think he means it, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Fine, I'll calm down, but we still have the--
Fake Kirk: Let her rant. There's nothing to say.
Lieutenant: Let who rant now?
Fake Kirk: You saw how treacherously they acted.
Lieutenant: Well they did maniacally laugh sir.
Fake Kirk: Who are you?
Lieutenant: That's a good Arnold impression, Captain, but we still have an epidemic going on here.
Fake Kirk: Where is she, Miri? Where is she, Miri? Where's Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: You need to get your eyes checked, Captain.
Fake Kirk: What the devil is this? Green leaves?
Lieutenant: Oh god, Green Leaves! They're eating your eyeballs!
Fake Kirk: It's been five years since his last message. Don't lose yourself to them. Hold on.
Lieutenant: Yes sir, hold on! -Rips the leaves out of his eyes-
Fake Kirk: Are you scanning for any unusual movement?. No one can see. Put your phaser on stun. What neutralising operation?
Lieutenant: Ah, I read you Cap. Phase Spok and rip out his eyes.
Fake Kirk: Analysis, Science Officer? Kirk to Enterprise.
Lieutenant: Shhh, he'll hear you!
Fake Kirk: Stand by, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: I shall, sir. I shall.
Fake Kirk: When, Lieutenant. When, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Right now, sir, right now, sir.
Fake Kirk: Beauty survives.
Lieutenant: Indeed.
Fake Kirk: Hold our course, Mister Hanson.
Lieutenant: I hate those Hanson kids SO much.
Fake Kirk: It's not that bad.
Lieutenant: Yes it is, you're fucking retarded! -Phaser'd-
Fake Kirk: We don't use that kind of language on my ship. A devastating weapon.
Lieutenant: -Dead-
Fake Kirk: What did somebody say? That paradise must've looked like this?
Okay, sorry for doing it again so soon, but I just laughed a lot at this much dirtier conversation. I elimnated my first post because it was kind of random, but had a good setup.
Fake Kirk: We have nothing to discuss.
Lieutenant: Oh I think we do.
Fake Kirk: What did you have in mind?
Lieutenant: Set phasers for sexy, Captain, I'm going in.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, did you hear me?
Lieutenant: Oh yes I did, Cap.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, when do you estimate arrival at nucleus?. It's a suicide mission.
Lieutenant: I'm willing to take that risk for that sweet, sweet nucleus.
Fake Kirk: Landru died six thousand years ago.
Lieutenant: Eww, that's not sexy at all.
Fake Kirk: Insulted, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: Not really, but now I'm not really excited anymore.
Fake Kirk: That's a very convenient excuse, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: What, you don't think I can handle it, Captain?
Fake Kirk: A fat tribble.
Lieutenant: Okay, you're gonna call me fat now? You can sleep on the couch, Mister.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant?. Just have those crystals here when I get back. Lieutenant, I believe you're getting grey.
Lieutenant: Now I'm old? You're such a piece of shit!
Fake Kirk: Do you mean your name is old? We don't use that kind of language on my ship.
Lieutenant: I'm leaving you, and I'm taking baby Kirk with me!
Fake Kirk: Goodbye. Energise.. We must talk to Lieutenant, bury the hatchet.
Lieutenant: So wait.. do you want me to go? Or should I stay?
Fake Kirk: That's an order, Lieutenant. No, I think you and I can handle it. Why don't you beam up now? No, Captain. No.
Lieutenant: Okay, my head's gonna explode.
Fake Kirk: Confirm Lieutenant's co-ordinates for the missile's point of origin.. What have you done?
Lieutenant: In my freakin' skull, you morbid douchebag!
Fake Kirk: I'm asking what you know about ESP.
Lieutenant: This is a fucking migraine. Not ESP. Dipshit.
Fake Kirk: We don't use that kind of language on my ship. What is this place? He never mentioned that his family was this important.
Lieutenant: So family isn't important to you?
Fake Kirk: Identification?
Lieutenant: You still don't think he's your son, do you?
Fake Kirk: What do you make of the cat, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: The cat died years ago.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Years ago.
Fake Kirk: Including ourselves, how many of us are there?
Lieutenant: We're all dead. Years ago.
Fake Kirk: Phasers on heavy stun. Energise. What's that?
Lieutenant: That's the long sleep, Captain.
Fake Kirk: Your prognosis, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: -Sniffle-
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant.
Fake Kirk: Reverse power. Hold this position. Tell whoever gave those orders to report. I'm Captain Kirk of.
Lieutenant: Of what?
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, if you don't mind.
Lieutenant: Don't mind what!?... sir?
Fake Kirk: Explain. Turn the ship around. We're going home.
Lieutenant: You're not my dad! Don't talk to me like a child!
Fake Kirk: Peace. I think he means it, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Fine, I'll calm down, but we still have the--
Fake Kirk: Let her rant. There's nothing to say.
Lieutenant: Let who rant now?
Fake Kirk: You saw how treacherously they acted.
Lieutenant: Well they did maniacally laugh sir.
Fake Kirk: Who are you?
Lieutenant: That's a good Arnold impression, Captain, but we still have an epidemic going on here.
Fake Kirk: Where is she, Miri? Where is she, Miri? Where's Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: You need to get your eyes checked, Captain.
Fake Kirk: What the devil is this? Green leaves?
Lieutenant: Oh god, Green Leaves! They're eating your eyeballs!
Fake Kirk: It's been five years since his last message. Don't lose yourself to them. Hold on.
Lieutenant: Yes sir, hold on! -Rips the leaves out of his eyes-
Fake Kirk: Are you scanning for any unusual movement?. No one can see. Put your phaser on stun. What neutralising operation?
Lieutenant: Ah, I read you Cap. Phase Spok and rip out his eyes.
Fake Kirk: Analysis, Science Officer? Kirk to Enterprise.
Lieutenant: Shhh, he'll hear you!
Fake Kirk: Stand by, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: I shall, sir. I shall.
Fake Kirk: When, Lieutenant. When, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Right now, sir, right now, sir.
Fake Kirk: Beauty survives.
Lieutenant: Indeed.
Fake Kirk: Hold our course, Mister Hanson.
Lieutenant: I hate those Hanson kids SO much.
Fake Kirk: It's not that bad.
Lieutenant: Yes it is, you're fucking retarded! -Phaser'd-
Fake Kirk: We don't use that kind of language on my ship. A devastating weapon.
Lieutenant: -Dead-
Fake Kirk: What did somebody say? That paradise must've looked like this?
Okay, sorry for doing it again so soon, but I just laughed a lot at this much dirtier conversation. I elimnated my first post because it was kind of random, but had a good setup.
Fake Kirk: We have nothing to discuss.
Lieutenant: Oh I think we do.
Fake Kirk: What did you have in mind?
Lieutenant: Set phasers for sexy, Captain, I'm going in.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, did you hear me?
Lieutenant: Oh yes I did, Cap.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant, when do you estimate arrival at nucleus?. It's a suicide mission.
Lieutenant: I'm willing to take that risk for that sweet, sweet nucleus.
Fake Kirk: Landru died six thousand years ago.
Lieutenant: Eww, that's not sexy at all.
Fake Kirk: Insulted, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: Not really, but now I'm not really excited anymore.
Fake Kirk: That's a very convenient excuse, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: What, you don't think I can handle it, Captain?
Fake Kirk: A fat tribble.
Lieutenant: Okay, you're gonna call me fat now? You can sleep on the couch, Mister.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant?. Just have those crystals here when I get back. Lieutenant, I believe you're getting grey.
Lieutenant: Now I'm old? You're such a piece of shit!
Fake Kirk: Do you mean your name is old? We don't use that kind of language on my ship.
Lieutenant: I'm leaving you, and I'm taking baby Kirk with me!
Fake Kirk: Goodbye. Energise.. We must talk to Lieutenant, bury the hatchet.
Lieutenant: So wait.. do you want me to go? Or should I stay?
Fake Kirk: That's an order, Lieutenant. No, I think you and I can handle it. Why don't you beam up now? No, Captain. No.
Lieutenant: Okay, my head's gonna explode.
Fake Kirk: Confirm Lieutenant's co-ordinates for the missile's point of origin.. What have you done?
Lieutenant: In my freakin' skull, you morbid douchebag!
Fake Kirk: I'm asking what you know about ESP.
Lieutenant: This is a fucking migraine. Not ESP. Dipshit.
Fake Kirk: We don't use that kind of language on my ship. What is this place? He never mentioned that his family was this important.
Lieutenant: So family isn't important to you?
Fake Kirk: Identification?
Lieutenant: You still don't think he's your son, do you?
Fake Kirk: What do you make of the cat, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: The cat died years ago.
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Years ago.
Fake Kirk: Including ourselves, how many of us are there?
Lieutenant: We're all dead. Years ago.
Fake Kirk: Phasers on heavy stun. Energise. What's that?
Lieutenant: That's the long sleep, Captain.
Fake Kirk: Your prognosis, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant: -Sniffle-
Fake Kirk: Lieutenant.