shorty wanna hear dat ass clap

[Kosheh]

ok now that i got your attention please let me take the time to educate you because i am getting sick and tired of sires irl using the word wrong, and now it's spreading to the internet. even if you guys aren't guilty of this just listen up anyways so you can educate the retarded masses outside your doorstep

yeah this is spamhaul but i gotta get my message across. if this aint funny, fuc u go put on your moms panties because im not lookin for humor here. im making serious talk in spamhaul

today, I'm going to literally post about the proper usage of "literally"

so today i saw my favorite mod post a rather amusing message

literally farting over mic as i type this

now look at this fucking post
i know what he means
he wants to say that during a skype convo he's farting into the mic for the amusement of his peers
instead, when one uses the word literally he gives the mental picture that he is floating in midair, farting above the mic as he is typing on his computer

my girlfriend's brother said

he literally owned the competition at that tournament

this would allude to the champion having a lot of money and then bought the tournament entrants.

sirs i am afraid that "literally" is becoming a substitute for "actually", "totally", "truly", "completely"

"literally" means the phrase is absolute. it is actually happening, no figures of speech, euphemisms or minced oats: what the phrase declares must be taken at face value.

e.g.
Last night, I got in a fight with a gay thug.
He literally tore me a new asshole.

typically tearing someone a new asshole means you really beat the shit out of that guy either verbally or physically. when someone literally tears you a new asshole, he is tearing open a hole in your body that functions as a secondary anus.

i swear
if i hear one more person irl misuse the word "literally" to exaggerate how great something is, i am literally going to shit on their face.

your thoughts, TSR?