if pokemon were real

[water dog]

i would have a nice little team of pokemen. i would have a little pichu named vlad the impaler. that would peek out of my messenger bag when i go to school and when i talk to girls he jumps out and does tricks and tries to impress them. and they think hed be the cutest pokemon ever and all want to hang out with me because pichu woul be nice and charge their phones while they text al ltheir girlfriends telling them how cute my pichu is. we'd play fight and i'd chase him around the house and then watch funny movies (like airplane) and then just laugh all night and be happy.

one day on the trip to work i would be driving and then not be able to continue because there is a snorlax in my way. so i would battle him and catch him. and name him steve. steve and i would be like childhood best friends but bros at the same time. by bro i means we would wrestle and drink beer (he could drink his weight!) and then at night we would do an irl superhero thing like kick-ass. we would have matching costumes and fight crime and bad people. when i get stabbed in the stomach for being too open while fighting steve would sit on them and break their legs. then when we win we would fist pound and dance, and he would growl and he would go to sleep. then i would roll him back home like a katamari.

um then i would have a honchkrow who does an amazing impersonation of the godfather and i would name him giuseppe. he'd be a night person and hang out on the telephone pole with murkrows and they would like talk about girls and stuff. because my honchkrow would like girls. when hes not being a night person i would jump on his back and fly to school and japan and stuff (but i would have to visit Japan first wouldn't I.....darn)

i would also have an aipom named joey that would be like my best friend. he would be really cool and the kind that plays videogames and hangs out with my friends and the neighbor's pokemon. and all day he would give me high fives with his tail and i would take him to work and he would work with autistic kids (and their therapy pokemon) and he would just give them high-fives all day and then eat fried chicken for lunch oh and hed be like jake from adventure time and um yeah

id also have a lopunny named linda who would always wear cute hipster outfits and would hang out with the guys but shed be a pretty good fighter too. but mainly it would just dress to impress. and um just be a bff to my girlfriend.

also i would have a nidoking named sam i would box and together wed become the best streetfighters.

i think its safe to say that if i had pokemon you might not want to fuck with me coz theyd make me a pretty tough dude ; - )



oh and i want a lucario but i dont knwo where he would fit into my pokemon life

hes doing it right no one else is