Now, this is a tale of how the way I live my life was utterly turned upon its ear, so I would fain request a moment of your time, please stay put in your seat, and I will recount the tale of how I was elected the Prince of Bel Aire. In the settlement of Philadelphia, I was born. Playing hoop and stick is how I would pass the time as a child. I was relaxing peacefully, presenting myself as an upright gentleman, when quite to my dismay a band of ruffians began to wreak havoc upon my humble neighborhood. I was engaged in one small duel with these chaps and my mother was filled with fear, and henceforth decreed that I was to take new residence with my Aunt and Uncle in the settlement of Bell Aire. I arranged for a carriage and as it arrived I noted the horses were branded with the word "FRESH" and a pair of playing dice were strung up over the mirror. If I could make any further comments, I would remark that the carriage had a foul stench. However, I chose to ignore it, and exclaimed "Sally forth to Bell Aire!" I arrived at the home of my relatives between the hours of seven and eight o'clock and said to the carriage driver "I shall smell your stench at a later date, my good man." I surveyed my glorious kingdom, for I had finally arrived, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bell Aire.
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