(09-18-2008, 11:05 PM)Goemar Wrote: Loosing sleep about your sexuality is never good and I doubt writing poems about how odd it is will be of any help.
I don't understand how being gay is anything to loose sleep around in today's world...
...
Half of my nation doesn't think I should be allowed to marry.
A similar percent of my nation thinks gays are unnatural.
A similar percent of my nation thinks gays are evil.
A similar percent of my nation thinks gays are mentally handicapped.
I've dealt with people who've said that, and I do on a daily basis.
Members of my family think gays are wrong.
My brother told me to never tell him if I was gay.
My mom's boyfriend jokes about how I must be gay because I don't date.
My family doesn't know because not all of them accept gays.
Do you know what it's like to have a secret from almost everyone you know like this?
Listen to your family members or friends bash gays when all you can do is tell them not to do that.
Add onto that the incredibly hard time you have adjusting to something like that. It wasn't as if I always knew, I grew up knowing men and women got together. I grew up using 'gay' to describe shit situations, or lame people.
I grew up knowing gay people were weird, that they were different.
I kept lying to myself, saying that if I ever turned out to be gay, I'd be forthcoming about it. But I obviously wasn't, because I had a girlfriend. I made out with girls. I just wasn't as attracted to women as other guys.
When you lie to yourself that much, you start to believe it.
Then you realize the truth, and it's hard to swallow.
It's nearly impossible for me to find someone I'm compatible with, that's openly gay and not a complete flaming distinguished gentleman.
The only people I could date are in the same situation as me, not interested in telling people about it for fear of pointless persecution.
Goemar, surely there's something about you that isn't accepted by society.
Then imagine it on this scale. :/