Something I might actually use... Tried again.

[StarSock64]

I really think you need to exaggerate the light source more. Making his head so bright even though it's far away from the light source isn't really helping. I think adding just a few more shades would be beneficial for showing the effects of the light, specifically on his blue shirt. I know you want the game to be dim, but I think making bright spots in the area immediately around the lantern would be more striking and make it more clear that there's a lantern there. Because it's...still really hard to read behind his hand

The sword is really hard to read too. The shake is just kind of blended together , the little shading you tried to use to define the shapes really isn't visible at all, and it seems to be overlapping spots that don't make sense. You should probably make it stick out more or at a different angle and simplify it to a silhouette that's easy to read.

I wish I could give an example or something for all this, but I don't think I could pull it off in a way worth showing.