03-07-2012, 07:06 PM
It's written in novel format, not comic book format :/ the narration style, I believe the proper term is the narration 'voice' pokes fun at how comic books are often narrated outloud.
I usually use ellipsis to emphasize brief moments of pause in the speech, and if you notice, there's no such ellipses abuse in the narration, so at least that's one thing I'm doing right *shrug*
Your critique is welcome though, I really don't understand much about grammar which is why I gave a fair warning beforehand.
I may have overdone it a bit in this first part, but I can try to use more comas and simicolons. But right now I'm still learning how and when to place those properly...
I usually use ellipsis to emphasize brief moments of pause in the speech, and if you notice, there's no such ellipses abuse in the narration, so at least that's one thing I'm doing right *shrug*
Your critique is welcome though, I really don't understand much about grammar which is why I gave a fair warning beforehand.
I may have overdone it a bit in this first part, but I can try to use more comas and simicolons. But right now I'm still learning how and when to place those properly...