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Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia
#20
WARNING: SPOILER-LADEN SPOILER-FILLED SPOILEY POST COMING.

WITH SPOILERS.

Well, most Order of Ecclesia topics soon become filled with such issues as, "why won't Wallman die," "the game ended when I used Dominus," "Albus is hawtzorz!111", "Where did Dracula's b eard go," and "how do i shot web?" However, I think that what we need here is a good, comprehensive, genuine guide to the game. To begin with:


MAJOR CHARACTERS:


Shanoa: An emotionless, memoryless blank slate of a character whose only thought is for "the mission." She has breasts, and thus is the best Castlevania character ever.

Barlowe: Named for the vampire in Salem's Lot, Barlowe operates a mysterious religious organization that studies monsters and demons. He has developed a system of magic using occult powers, and owns Dracula's Soul in a Box. Barlowe sends Shanoa on a mysterious, life-sacrificing mission, and refuses to divulge more details than are necessary. There is a tiny possibility that he might not be on the up and up.

Albus: Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore The Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Order of Merlin, First Class; Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, and Grand sorcerer. He also has a magic gun.

Dracula: The Prince of Darkness and Lord of Evil, Dracula never really does anything. Elizabeth freaking Bartley has him beat on the "caused worldwide damage" counter.

Death: Dracula's closest friend and keeper of his secrets - Dracula's likes, dislikes, turn-ons, turn-offs, and bowling average. We're never going to know. Often takes time off from his complete mastery of life and death to try to attack you with ordinary weapons. This rarely goes well for him.

THE VILLAGERS

Nikolai: The village elder, who really only serves to keep Castlevania's inherent Christianity in the game. We don't get our flaming cross projectiles, so we've got an old, confused man who prays a lot.

Jacob: You save his life, so he charges you 500 dollars for a small bottle of medicine.

Abram: Every time you fetch medicinal ingredients for him, you earn "trust points." Despite this, he never fully seems to trust Shanoa. This is probably because she doesn't sleep with him.

Laura: A scantily-clad, flirtatious, lustful rish young woman who is obsessed with making Shanoa happy. Fanfiction is probably being written at this very moment.

Eugen: Possibly the most honest merchant character in all of Castlevania. Yes, you have to pay for your world-saving items that he makes, but he gives you the cash to do so because, you know, it's really annoying to farm Tin Men for gold ore.

Aeon: Someday, he's going to slim down and save the space-time continuum from Galamoth. Right now, he cooks with meat found in walls and "killer fish." This could be why you find him in the prison.

Marcel: A tabloid reporter, he is fired because it turns out all his stories are true. He tries to hit on Laura, and thus Shanoa by proxy.

George: Despite the interest he shows in Shanoa, George is a musician, and therefore is not interested om women, if you know what I mean.

Serge: A young child who likes to hide in barrels and play with vicious animals. You take candy from him to become stronger.

Anna: Serge's sister. Supposedly, she gets possessed by demons a lot, but this never actually happens.

Monica: A shy, quiet, nervous, pretty young girl who is worried that Shanoa is letting a fantastic body go to waste. There is more subtext here than with Laura.

Irina: The mother of Serge and Anna. Likes commanding strangers to run outside and slaughter wildlife.

Daniela: A sweet old woman. Her husband-or-Grandfather wielded the vampire killer. If it's her grandfather, then she is Richter's granddaughter. If it was her husband, than apparently Richter got really bored with Annette after a while.

BOSSES

Arthroverta: A refugee from at least two Contra games, Arthroverta is the only boss against whom the tried-and-true Castlevania method of "stand still and smack it till it dies" works.

Giant Skeleton: Bet you thought this game was easy, didn't you? It cheats if you stand behind it.

Brachyura: A giant enemy crab fought in the lighthouse. Surprisingly, you do "hit its weak point" for "massive damage." "hitting its weak point" involves a 2-ton elevator, of course.

Maneater: Soma is a wuss for thinking that the version he fought was tough. I do wonder where this massive aggregate skull came from, though.

Rusalka: Waves be WIIIIIIIIIILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goliath: A giant who looks suspiciously like The Creature, and is insanely difficult to defeat until you master the art of Dodging Easily Telegraphed Attacks.

Gravedorcus: A Land Shark which does not just pop up and eat you. Be wary, though, for the Land Shark can strike at any time. If someone comes to the door with a "candygram," DO NOT OPEN IT!!!!!!

Wallman: Dracula seems to have terrible taste in librarians. First there's the one who sells out for a few Zircons, and then there is the man who wildly flings around explosives in a library. He appears to be reading a nudie magazine when you first see him.

Blackmore: A perfectly normal person, who should not be very diffi-HOLY CRAP LOOK AT HIS SHADOW!

Eligor: A four-storey tall mechanical demon centaur knight. Most players see him and think, "lol, a gimmick boss! This will be easy." They will not progress further in the game for many hours.

Jiang Shi: A Chinese Hopping Vampire. Immensely powerful and dangerous, the best way to fight it is to hold up a piece of cardboard and block his attacks, then hit him in the face.
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Messages In This Thread
Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ton - 10-28-2008, 01:04 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ark Kuvis - 10-28-2008, 09:13 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ton - 10-30-2008, 01:04 AM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ton - 10-30-2008, 08:40 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ark Kuvis - 11-03-2008, 12:41 AM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ton - 11-03-2008, 12:44 AM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ridureyu - 11-03-2008, 11:32 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ridureyu - 11-04-2008, 12:22 AM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ton - 11-04-2008, 01:10 AM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ridureyu - 11-04-2008, 08:01 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Nick - 11-06-2008, 08:38 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Ton - 11-11-2008, 12:27 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Nick - 11-12-2008, 12:29 AM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Nick - 11-23-2008, 02:57 PM
RE: Castlevania; Order of Ecclesia - by Exxon - 12-13-2008, 09:46 PM

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