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Haiku's Quest Revamped
#3
that was sudden
"im leaving bai"
"have your fathers stuff, i dont want it in the house anymore"

i would suggest starting the story off from the father's perspective, then leading up to the point to his death (without mentioning him dying) then go to the mother's perspective, getting the notice that her husband is dead

that makes it more interesting
Thanked by: Candel


Messages In This Thread
Haiku's Quest Revamped - by Makermatic21 - 07-09-2012, 11:23 AM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Previous - 07-09-2012, 11:59 AM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by alexmach1 - 07-09-2012, 12:01 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Sevenstitch - 07-09-2012, 12:02 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Devicho - 07-09-2012, 03:33 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Makermatic21 - 07-21-2012, 01:54 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by alexmach1 - 07-21-2012, 02:16 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Makermatic21 - 07-21-2012, 02:24 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Previous - 07-21-2012, 04:27 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Gors - 07-21-2012, 06:03 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Makermatic21 - 08-07-2012, 08:58 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest - by Previous - 08-08-2012, 04:58 AM
RE: Haiku's Quest Revamped - by Makermatic21 - 09-06-2012, 04:04 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest Revamped - by Zadaben - 09-06-2012, 06:49 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest Revamped - by alexmach1 - 09-06-2012, 07:12 PM
RE: Haiku's Quest Revamped - by Hoeloe - 09-07-2012, 03:22 AM
RE: Haiku's Quest Revamped - by Makermatic21 - 10-22-2012, 10:12 AM
RE: Haiku's Quest Revamped - by Garamonde - 10-22-2012, 10:14 AM

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