07-29-2012, 05:51 AM
Seems like you try to make thingy rhyme in the most basic rhyme pattern ever (AABB all over) yet sometimes there's no rhyme at all. Also, you don't pay any attention at all to syllable counts or measures. You have lines this long next to lines that short. This results in a lack of rhythm. Furthermore, your stanzas all have different length.
The thing with poetry is that it usually follows strict form. There must be patterns everywhere, everything is planned with care for detail.
I've never been good at these things myself so that's about all I can say.
The thing with poetry is that it usually follows strict form. There must be patterns everywhere, everything is planned with care for detail.
I've never been good at these things myself so that's about all I can say.