Which Retro Games Need Remakes?

[Rai]

If I could get Super Metroid in Other M style I'd probably just instantly die because that'd probably be the best Metroid game of all time, hands down. OR OR Can i get all 3 Prime games in Other M style too? PLEASE?

Oh, thanks for reminding me! While we're talking pipe dreams, a Metroid game that retcons Other M out of existence. FUCK Yoshio Sakamoto, FUCK his revisionist bullshit take on what was supposed to be a strong female protagonist, and FUCK that linearity. Not trying to chastise you for liking Other M (seriously!), but every inch of that abomination fills me with a violence I don't know what to do with. Even Hunters' single-player portion bothered to at least be fun.

So, uh, another Metroid game developed by Retro Studios would be pretty rad. Keep dat first-person shit.

Rai....Rai...stop.

Don't say words like that. Those words wound me. Can you imagine SR388 in 3D? Can you imagine no cut scenes just pure isolation and ambience. I'm not here telling you Other M's story was amazing because I'm not. What I'm saying is everyone loving the Prime series games I do not understand. I don't know WHEN Samus EVER became an archaeologist or when this series was MORE compelling as first person but I need those to stop being innate desires of dear friends. Other M was exactly what Metroid looks like in 3D and though not executed properly was a Metroid game with isolation, different pathways alternate routes and that contains the aspect of speed running.

Rai, I love you.

-Giraffe.

Having to swap to an immobile first-person mode to scan shit and fire missiles sucked. Being forced into that first-person perspective and not being let out until you scanned the right puddle on the floor sucked more. SenseMove was massively overpowered to the point that it felt insulting. Like water wings.

But the worst of it was that linearity. It was fucking impossible to get lost, which is most of the fun in any Metroid game. Other M refuses to let you get lost.

Fuck.

That.

Noise.

The first Metroid Prime perfectly captured the tone of the series' isolation, loneliness, but also that incredible sense of discovery and archaeology. It was the true, perfect, 3D take on Super Metroid, and that is a statement I will always stand by.

Now, if we were talking a third-person Metroid game made by, say, the development team of the original Soul Reaver (one of my favorite Metroidvania games), I'd be all over that shit like a monkey on a cupcake. Actually, Metroid as a whole would benefit from Amy Hennig's writing talent. Or any talented writer at all, for that matter.

Or a remake of Fusion into Prime's style. That horror tone in first person? Ooh, I got chills. They're multiplyin.'

And I understand that love, it's a perfectly normal reaction to being around me.