Advice for book writing.

[StevenB]

That's the thing, though. As a mascot, they represent you. By placing them in your graphic novel, you are placing a representation of yourself in the game. Self-insertion.

Honestly, I almost feel like Benny's the opposite of me at times. He's calm, optimistic, friendly, and tries to be nice even when a person is being an ass, often times going to the point of being passive and overly forgiving, where I feel I can be a pessimistic rageaholic at times who has a hard time opening up to people and doesn't hesitate to lash out if I feel people are going out of bounds. ...That's how I feel at times, anyway, but I can be pretty nice when I want to be.

...But then again, I suppose a polar opposite can still be a self-insert, now that I think about it.

I feel like everytime someone brings up some critism you try to justify it by using lore from the story, I'm sorry to say. This makes the discussion very assymmetrical in the sense that we raise these points without having that information. Rather than trying to justify it by using lore, try to take notes of what some people are saying and use it to improve your story. Obviously what sort of feedback and critism you end up doing something with is up to you, but maybe focus less on convincing us why your ideas make sense and more on why certain critism is raised and what that could mean for your story.

From the general flow of this topic I'm getting the idea that you're increasingly becoming unsure of your story, and the original question "Should I include drawings/make the story darker" has been put on the backseat to focus on different issues, which is not a bad thing. But maybe try to approach your own story from a different perspective. Focus on writing a good start and an ending and think about what story you'd like to tell and what you want readers to expierence and to learn and what general sort of themes go with that. Rewrite it completely if neccesary.

Oh and also, focus less on world-building writing. As the writers of Atomic Robo put it, whilst fun, "World building is just the writing you do to avoid actual writing."

My first point of advice is to flesh out Benny as a character, since you want the story to revolve around him. From the bits of information you've given us so far he sounds like a really flat Friend to All Living Thing Mary Stue kind of character. Give him some flaws, make him a bit bitter about his excistance as a hobo or so. Put him in situations or have him meet characters that he's not comfortable with (quoting the Pixar storytelling philoshopy; "Characters become interesting and develop when they are put into situations they don't like").
If I'm wrong then feel free to say so but please don't try to explain it by using information of hypothetical later chapters. Not because I don't enjoy reading or discussing this with you, but simply because it's not very concessive to the discussion in this topic. Plus you don't want to reveal too many spoilers.

You're clearly very passionate about your story and continue to be. I applaud that, it's fun to see someone so enthousiastic about his/her creations and art. Keep a good grip on that energy, but put it to good use. Don't rush into the details of a story if you're not sure what you want it to be.