09-21-2016, 12:25 PM
First and foremost is your title. As iyenal said, the title doesn't really say much and stating that Mario, Sonic, and Pac-Man are kidnapped doesn't really ring the essence of a game that seems interesting. His suggestion of "Vanellope's Sweet Adventures: A Big Turbo Kidnapping" would make a lot more sense.
I also tried to play the game, but it wouldn't launch. I've done everything from attempting to Run as Administrator to Compatibility Mode, and nothing seems to be working. I'm running Windows 10, and all my other Game Maker games work just fine, so I'm not sure what's up with that. Because of that though, the rest of this comment is based on the videos that you have shown.
As Silversea said, you need to work on your own text boxes because of the fact that the default ones pull you out of the game, and that doesn't really bode well.
Also, in the beginning you have the following sentence, "One day in the royal bedroom (presidential) Vanellope awoke form your sleeptime." This sentence needs restructured, and you should either take away the royal and replace it with presidential or just get rid of presidential altogether. The reason why is that it not only seems like a it's not going to be important to the game whether or not that clarification exists, but it's also an odd clarification to make in general. Then you are intermixing Third person perspective ("... in the royal bedroom Vanellope...") with Second person perspective ("...awoke from your sleeptime"). This seems to be a recurring issue in the story as well, so I'd comb through the dialogue and fix the perspective. The lack of music during the story also is kind of a downer, I'd recommend just putting a nice soft and kind of slow tone to the initial frames of her waking up and what not.
In level 2, you have the player jump up quite a few flights of steps, which isn't really ideal for a player. You might want to look into just gradually increasing the height of the platforms to give you enough room to build the underground portions (if that was the entire purpose of the steps).
After watching both videos, I have to admit that the only way I could get through them is by having it at x2 the speed. The length of the maps seems to be fine, but your variety in challenges as well as monsters and interactive objects is lacking. Mario, who could only really jump, was able to have decently long levels due to things like:
A few other mentions that I couldn't really summarize into full topics:
My last suggestion has nothing to do with the game: You shouldn't be telling people that they should be downloading your game first before commenting. If someone watches a video of your game and thinks the levels are long, getting them to play the game isn't going to make it any less long to them. You also shouldn't be suggesting that people play a certain way to make a level not feel long... That's not only restricting but means that you're not putting the time into developing the user experience as much as you are the technical and graphical experience. Stop defending your game and start taking the suggestions if you want to keep improving the game in any substantial way.
I also tried to play the game, but it wouldn't launch. I've done everything from attempting to Run as Administrator to Compatibility Mode, and nothing seems to be working. I'm running Windows 10, and all my other Game Maker games work just fine, so I'm not sure what's up with that. Because of that though, the rest of this comment is based on the videos that you have shown.
As Silversea said, you need to work on your own text boxes because of the fact that the default ones pull you out of the game, and that doesn't really bode well.
Also, in the beginning you have the following sentence, "One day in the royal bedroom (presidential) Vanellope awoke form your sleeptime." This sentence needs restructured, and you should either take away the royal and replace it with presidential or just get rid of presidential altogether. The reason why is that it not only seems like a it's not going to be important to the game whether or not that clarification exists, but it's also an odd clarification to make in general. Then you are intermixing Third person perspective ("... in the royal bedroom Vanellope...") with Second person perspective ("...awoke from your sleeptime"). This seems to be a recurring issue in the story as well, so I'd comb through the dialogue and fix the perspective. The lack of music during the story also is kind of a downer, I'd recommend just putting a nice soft and kind of slow tone to the initial frames of her waking up and what not.
In level 2, you have the player jump up quite a few flights of steps, which isn't really ideal for a player. You might want to look into just gradually increasing the height of the platforms to give you enough room to build the underground portions (if that was the entire purpose of the steps).
After watching both videos, I have to admit that the only way I could get through them is by having it at x2 the speed. The length of the maps seems to be fine, but your variety in challenges as well as monsters and interactive objects is lacking. Mario, who could only really jump, was able to have decently long levels due to things like:
- Coin Boxes
- Destroyable Enemies
- Interactive enemies (Koopas)
A few other mentions that I couldn't really summarize into full topics:
- Get rid of the need to use the mouse, it is just bad design
- I can barely see the dark pink blobs against the background in the first level
- The pink waterfall thing (i think that's what it is) needs to have some type of motion to it
- The music itself seems very slow, listen to it at x2 speed, it sounds so much better
My last suggestion has nothing to do with the game: You shouldn't be telling people that they should be downloading your game first before commenting. If someone watches a video of your game and thinks the levels are long, getting them to play the game isn't going to make it any less long to them. You also shouldn't be suggesting that people play a certain way to make a level not feel long... That's not only restricting but means that you're not putting the time into developing the user experience as much as you are the technical and graphical experience. Stop defending your game and start taking the suggestions if you want to keep improving the game in any substantial way.