Era: The Rift Riders

[Sho_"Rocker"_Daisuke]

Nuh-uh, that won't fly. While you my not be able to control what direction she takes her story in, you have every right to make sure what she writes and what you write stay in the same damn person. Changing person between chapters is fine (The Amulet if Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud, and its two sequels are a very good example of well executed person and tense switching); but within the same paragraph? GODDAMN, NO.

Also, Xalex is a poor name. Alex is perfectly fine. Xale is a little od, but still acceptable in a fantasy setting. Xalex, using multiple X's, is not remotely believable. No one wouyld call their child Xalex. Unless they were straightedge.

If you can still find them these days, the Co-op books written by the childrens Authors Paul Jenning and Morris Gleitzman are also worth lookng at. Off the top of my head, they did Deadly! and Wicked!

for the first part, I don't ever recall writing in a different perspective in the same paragraph through out the entire story. I have also told my friend that she should stick to the main plot, but she has some freedom into changing the story ina certain way, revealing how certain characters act, interact with each other, etc.

now complaining about the name of the main character, Xalex, is just nit picking, I will not accept this form of critism because it is a rediculous reason to dislike a story.

I haven't read any other co-op stories before except for Theive's World, but they write in third person all the time, so it really doesn't matter