Stand-up Comedy bit

[LilGrim1991]

This is a little comedy bit I'm working on, not that I have any place to present it, but I was just inspired this morning, and wrote this all from the top of my head. Tell me what you think about it:

There was this guy the other day that kept swerving and driving really erratic, you know, turning at all the intersections, he said "Oh God, I think their following us", turns out the idiot had a freaking U-Haul attached to his car...I know, right? I mean I already did it like 3 times before, you'd think I'd learn by now.

On that note; I think the dumbest car to put a U-Haul on is an 18-wheeler...Dude, just get a train. You know, you'd avoid so many road side accidents, while turning, that end up taking place on the previous intersection.

I mean, what the hell can't you put in the cargo of the truck? You know, unless your transporting a load of bananas and a hoard of monkeys, I think an 18-wheeler is sufficient.

But if the specification of the vehicle isn't important...I'd like to see U-Hauls for boats and airplanes. That would be awesome! It's just like a mini boat attached to a cruiseship, you know what I mean? But again, "Captain, I think their following us"-"Oh God, terrorists! Lose the anchor, passengers are expendable weight!"...Attach multiple U-Hauls to a plane, same concept, mini-planes, but get this, multiple U-hauls, or, dare I say, U-Heights, I know awesome catchphrase, "Reach U-Heights", but when you get several attached to it...well, brother, you just made a Plane Train. I know! It's so awesome...Get to it, future scientists of America...or Russia, or even Al Qaeda, cause if you can make a freaking bomb out of toothpaste, that's bad-ass right there, your hired! I wanna see U-Haul expanding their horizons within five years, so get to it!

[Confessor]

Yeah so it's not really funny.

[Corporal Tom]

lol

thats funny.

[LilGrim1991]

I forgot to mention one extremely important aspect of stand-up is delivery, attributing the body language that gives a joke its longevity, otherwise, they just sound like an overly-excited forum poster.

[you can call me 7ILBY]

and whats the deal with thumbtacks?

They're neither thumbs

Nor tacks.

/jerryseinfeld

[mors ontologica]

lol

thats funny.

Yeah, this but and a "not" in there somewhere.

I forgot to mention one extremely important aspect of stand-up is delivery, attributing the body language that gives a joke its longevity, otherwise, they just sound like an overly-excited forum poster.

I can imagine how it'd be done, seeing as every other stand-up comedian does it in the same way. I'm guessing something like that. It's still not funny x.x