[art] a blonde etna that rollerblades

[Ashura]

aka lilica felchenerow from Arcana heart



I haven't received much help on this one. I posted it in 4chan's /ic/ board in order to get harsh feedback, but I quickly found out that most of the responses were useless ("the face is ugly UGH that nose here let me draw it in my own style etc"). As a result, I'm posting it here to get some *real* feedback.

Yes it's a fetishy request pic. but it's not nsfw or anything !!! hehee

It took me about 2 hours to draw this. be as rough as you want i don't care

I know that it's very stiff... I'm not used to drawing people sitting, but I'm practicing sitting poses. I will draw better sitting poses in the future.

[Rökkan]

haha going to 4chan for criticism this is hillarious



now, what you really have to do here is to redraw that face, it's so ugly. plus UGH that nose. hang on let me redraw it in my own style to show you what i mean






















no jk, this is pretty good. I can't think of what to criticize here ummm let me see

really, the only things that i can critique are very minor, for instance, her left (our right) ear doesn't have any shading, i also feel like you could have added some small shadows on her face (mostly in the area between her eye and her eyebrow), i'd also add more contrast and light on that wing of hers, and more shinyness on the acessories she wears on her ears, hair, and neck.

but those are very minor, specially when you consider that you did this whole thing in just a couple of hours! this is really really good. I like the pose (I don't think it's too stiff as you say it) and the shading and colours are really good. keep doing more of these

[Ashura]

Sweet, thanks bro.

I'll fix the picture.

[Shawn]

UGH that nose. hang on let me redraw it in my own style to show you what i mean

>no noses

[Ashura]

Updated =D

[Rökkan]

UGH that nose. hang on let me redraw it in my own style to show you what i mean

>no noses

mayb because my character is not human u stupid fuc

the fact that his species doesnt have a nose is an improtnat part on the plot...............

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anyway, looks noticeably better!! do some more paintings please!

[Kosheh]

yeah, it's p. schweet bro, the coloring is pretty ace

the art style actually reminds me of how an old friend used to draw

the only crits I have are things that are probably intentional - for example I don't think it's very fitting for the character to have diamond-shaped eyes, it seems a little more in-character for Lilica to have more roundish eyes as she's the playful-looking type.
What I mean is that character art typically displays her without the lower eyelashes because they don't want her to look mature and sexy - that's what it seems you're going for here. The character's typically a little wider-eyed and more energetic looking - yap yap yes this could turn into a whole "this pose doesn't suit the character SHE'D BE IN AN ACTION SHOT", but I kinda get the style you're going for here - more casual, laid back Lilica, skating gear off...
this is someone's foot fetish request, isn't it >_>

However I'd think your response would be "This is my style I'll draw it how I want" and...honestly, I feel like if you modified the eyes I think you'd hurt the piece. It looks good - but bottom line, her eyes look a little too experienced to be on Lilica lol.
Play around with them, though, see if it helps. :/

Also I think making the wings a liiiiiiiittle larger would be good

sorry i'm not super crit-man today ):

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but by all means, this is nit-picking! you do some great stuff - do draw/paint more, please!

[Chutzpar]

She has a teeeeeny ribcage

I just spent ages pulling my legs up to my chest to mimic her pose to work out what was wrong, you realise. At first I thought her body was too long, but now it just looks like her chest / shoulders are to small for her body.

Try extending the canvas and redrawing her legs with their current proportions, but in a standing pose. I guarantee she'll seem strangely bottom-heavy, and not in a natural "pear shape" kinda way either.

The hair also seems a little uneven to me - the pigtail that's further away looks bigger and fuller, while the one closest to us looks kinda small and thin by comparison. Perspective dictates it should be the other way around, if anything! :X

[Ashura]

Okay sweet, I'll fix the mistakes. Thanks sis!

EDIT: I did the "standing pose" edit, and I don't see anything wrong with her leg/body proportions. She is exactly 5 heads tall, which makes her a pre-teen. Her body proportions are fine but her head is sliiiightly big. As a result, all I can do is shrink her head a bit to makes her ribcage look bigger than it is now.

I'm definitely fixin the perspective problem, though.

EDIT 2: update

[Ashura]

another update

[Gors]

Maybe... the legs' perspective doesn't match with the rest of the body?

EDIT: damn, caps activated :/

[Ashura]

I've been getting all sorts of weird critique on this one

The face actually looks really great IMO

The only thing that's irking me is that some of the lines seem unnecessary or ignored. Remembering the famous phrase "Kill your darlings" might come in handy for dealing with this, but it's not entirely necessary with every mishap you'll have. Sometimes just a little extra attention is all your brain child needs to grow into beautiful princess.~

Maybe finishing this was a bad idea...?

gorsal: any clue on how to draw the legs properly? I have no idea how to fix that.

[Gors]

well, considering that her left leg is farther from us, doesn't it mean that it should be a lil' more covered by her right one?

[Chutzpar]

Now I think of it, rather than picking at little bits that you need to fix, I will give you some general pointers:

Leave your drawing to "rest" a bit after you've done the sketch / structuring / whatever. Get up and make a sandwich or a cup of tea or something, then come back and look at it fresh. You'll probably notice more problems that way

Also:
flip your canvas. If you flip everything horizontally it's like looking at a new picture almost, so you'll spot errors again. Flip, fix errors, flip again, fix errors, etc etc.

[Ashura]

well, considering that her left leg is farther from us, doesn't it mean that it should be a lil' more covered by her right one?

ooohhh

I can do that.

I'll move her left leg a little back and thicken her upper left leg a lot. Thanks!

And thanks epistaxis, that's very helpful. I actually do those... Unfortunately I tend to overdo the horizontal flipping thing, which ruins the "see the pic with fresh eyes" effect a tiny bit after each use.

I also zoom out of the picture to see if the thumbnail looks good. if it looks off then I zoom back in and fix whatever is off.

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another update...