Ocean Monolith

[Ego]

Maybe some of you already saw this on PJ or dA or something, but I wanted a little bit of feedback.



It's a black obelisk/monolith thing rising from a stormy ocean. I'm proud of this piece but am interested to hear any of your thoughts. I probably won't do any major changes on this piece, but I can apply any advice to the future, so please, do help.

I like the water, am surprised I even got the light & tower this good, and am not hugely happy with the sky.
If you're interested: Original Sharpie Sketch I Did, WIP Animation

EDIT: Oops, forgot to say, 22 colors, I know two light blues are quite close, but I couldn't find a great median color. If you have a suggestion for this color, I'd like to hear it.

[GrooveMan.exe]

The obelisk itself is a bit off. The angle/geometry of it doesn't feel right - like the shaft is leaning one way, but the spike is facing another. The dithering makes it look matte instead of shiny' but that might be what you have in mind. Though in which case those reflections would be a little less prominent.

[Davy Jones]

The water looks too solid, more like ice & the white stuff reminds me at... uhm, sperm. These beams of light on the obelisc are also looking a little bit weird, but I can't tell why.

[Ego]

@Grooveman: Really? I keep going over it in my head, I think that's the way the spike would line up on it. Also, the slight variations on the angle don't allow for a very stable, straight line, and on this I thought that the angularity of it was a little more important than a perfect line up. Maybe we can chalk up the builder of the obelisk as an idiot :p. The matte look was a little more what I was going for, but do you have a suggestion on how I could make the reflections less prominent? Also, my initial idea was shiny, but I couldn't make it look like anything other than just bands of various grays without dithering or using ten million colors.

@Davias: I've received comment elsewhere about making the obelisk more transparent(although the sperm thing is new to me, although given the phallic nature of the shaft, maybe this is a case for Dr. Freud), but I don't think the idea would really work for this piece. One of my inspirations while making the piece was "The Great Wave off Kanagawa", a japanese woodblock painting (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/co...agawa2.jpg). The opaque water and foam idea came from this piece for me, and probably a bit of the matte look was inspired by here too. Also, the LIGHT RAYS are opaque, it would make sense for the water to be too. Also, the position and angle of the reflected beams on the obelisk have given me a lot of trouble, I doubt they're in the right place at the right angle, but, as shown on the WIP, I did the ray positioning after the obelisk was almost finished, so I kinda hanged myself there.

Thanks for the comments guys.

[Proton]

white stuff reminds me at... uhm, sperm.

If that's what your sperm looks like, you should see a doctor.

[Davy Jones]

maybe too many comics with bad artists xD

Ice cream, melting ice, say what you want, but it doesn't look like sea foam/a part of the wave for me.

[Badassbill]

You're a lot better than the last time I saw your work.

[Ego]

@Davias: I understand what you're talking about, and maybe it's just that I think I know what I'm looking at, but I don't see it that way. If you suggest a possible fix though, maybe I can implement, cuz I don't know what to change.

@BAB: Thanks.

[Gors]

I don't like how the water is: it looks.... solid. You need to make the waves more smooth; you need to make it to 'flow'. Same with the foam. Also, since the water is hitting the obelisk with power, then you need make the water splash: draw several drops of water in the air.

the lightning should highlight the clouds around them because it is a lightsource on its own.

[triptych]

why are you dithering water
water doesnt have a texture that requires dithering
(i didn't read the thread oh well)

[Ego]

Okay, I understand from many people now that my water needs to be more transparent. That's a huge change, I'm not implementing it on this piece, but I will DEFINITELY keep it in mind in the future. Same with the flow thing, as the texture over the water is confusing people(there you go 1up,although it does help to actually read the thread).
@Gors: The splash is actually something I intended to do, but I forgot. I had a tiny placeholder splash in there though; is the drops above the top wave on the obelisk's left the right idea there? If so I'll try to get that integrated into the piece. Also, I'll fix the lighting from the lightning, I didn't think of that.

Still working on the fix, not yet satisfied, don't punish it yet.

So, to summarize what you guys are telling me in general, I need to lay off the dithering(especially on the water), and I don't quite do foam right yet.

One thing I'd like to know. Putting aside whether the dithering is necessary or sensible, is the actual technique functional enough? I've always had a bit of an issue deciding on whether the dithering itself actually does what it's supposed to.

[GrooveMan.exe]

@Grooveman: Really? I keep going over it in my head, I think that's the way the spike would line up on it. Also, the slight variations on the angle don't allow for a very stable, straight line, and on this I thought that the angularity of it was a little more important than a perfect line up. Maybe we can chalk up the builder of the obelisk as an idiot :p. The matte look was a little more what I was going for, but do you have a suggestion on how I could make the reflections less prominent? Also, my initial idea was shiny, but I couldn't make it look like anything other than just bands of various grays without dithering or using ten million colors.

Thanks for the comments guys.

It'd look less shiny if the reflection was more indestinct. Using a more subtle shading/colouring change, and not having the 'edges' of the ray reflection as prominent would do this. Basically; where shiny surfaces reflect, matte surfaces diffuse. The point of the obelisk is leaning a bit too far to the right.

[Ego]

That makes sense to me, I can see about diffusing the light out a little more from an exact ray shape. I'll get to work trying to fix that.

I can see the lopsided-ness now, but for this I think it would be more worth it to stay with the slant rather than make the edge lines a little wobbly. It's not ideal, but it bypasses a huge revision. I probably should have posted this in early stages to get issues like that fixed.