the poop happens world we live in thread 2XXX

[PatientZero]

I'm gonna give you a little personal insight into schizophrenia.

edit: Spoiler'd because I'm dumb and completely forgot to give a trigger warning.

Spoiler

I'm having a rough night so I'm sorry if my typing is a little off, I'm sick to begin with which never helps (just a bug that's going around), and my grasp on language gets much weaker the more detached I get.
I've also been drinking to try and keep myself under control, but I can hold my water so don't panic.

Today means something to me, it's a birthday for someone I don't know anymore, last year I didn't care and next year I might not remember, but for today at least it feels important.
Triggers like this dig up bad things for me, make me remember things I'd be better off forgetting, steals my logic and reason, it fills my head with nightmares and hides monsters in the shadows.
The pain of it is that because it feels so real it's hard to tell the lies from the truth, but I manage, usually.

These are the nights I hate, makes me feel the bugs under my skin, makes my scars itch, and worst of all it fills my head with thoughts and ideas that make me sick, they make me hate myself and hate the world that made me this way.
I hate a lot when I get like this.

I guess the joke is that I already know I'll be fine, as cruel as the world has been to me, as sick as the tortures are that it puts me though, I will always drag myself back to my feet.
I'd be a pretty pathetic figure if I let it beat me after all this time.

[Marth]

I forgot I have a research report due tomorrow for my 9am class.

HA

HAHA

FUCK

EDIT: Pz now that your post is visible, and I've read it (and I know I may seem like an inconsiderate jackass for asking this but bear with me), could you please post it in spoilers next time? This isn't because I don't care, because I certainly do... it's just that reading things of that nature act as a wake up call to my own schizo-affective disorder and well experience something similar to what you are. For those that don't understand what I'm saying, imagine a tape of horrible memories, thoughts, what have you...on instant replay flashing through your mind constantly and making it difficult to focus on the tasks at hand, or even function.

[MoneyMan]

today was pretty bad

[Phaze]

I'm practically deaf in my right ear.

I hope this is just temporary since it started after I began taking the ear-drops I got prescribed for an issue I'd been having in the right ear. That pain I mentioned? Apparently whatever it was (Doctor said it was likely an infection) left behind a nasty present for me.

Gross warning

It was some disgusting whitish/orange sludge mixed with earwax that was very fond of clumping together, unlike pure earwax. I fished most of out it of my ear recently (which apparently fixed my inability to properly pressurize the inner ear) and got a little more of it last night, when the hearing problem started. I didn't get anything today, though.

[Previous]

Spoiler

It's probably too far in to get out without special tools and the help of a doctor who knows how to use them. It can be dangerous trying it yourself, too.

[Phaze]

Spoiler

It's probably too far in to get out without special tools and the help of a doctor who knows how to use them. It can be dangerous trying it yourself, too.

Spoiler

Yeah I'm not planning on repeatedly attempting to dig out anything if there is still stuff in there.

They'll probably just end up using that one tool that flushed out the ear with hot water. I had that used before, for some reason my right ear doesn't like wax much. I always think back to the time a doctor thought pulling on my right ear's pressurized eardrum was a good idea.

[Gwen]

People are such idiots.
Band I like, Landmine Marathon recently parted ways with their vocalist Grace Perry as she wants to pursue non-musical endeavors, good terms and all that, and they announced their new vocalist. Krysta Martinez, and damn she fucking tears shit up with her vocals, like it's a pretty exciting addition, but idiots all over the internet, "WHY DID THEY REPLACE GRACE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN, THEY JUST WANT TO USE HER FOR ATTENTION AND MONEY, LOL HER BOOBS ARE BIG, LOL WOMEN, THEY SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A MAN."
For your fucking information you dumb twats, they probably found another woman because she has a similar harsh vocal register, and she can actually get in a higher, BROOTAL range that will add to the band, also why can't women just be in metal bands for the sake of playing music you dumb fucking idiots. If she were wearing mini skirts and had tape over her nipples, maybe you'd be right about using her to attract popularity, but as far as I can see, she's just dressed like everyone else, t-shirt and jeans, so what the fuck.
Seriously people like this are the reason woman don't want to enter the metal scene and it's a damn fucking shame because a lot of my favorite bands are fronted by women or women are behind the fucking awesome shreddage, or even both of the above.
And then you get the douchebags won't even give her a chance because she's not Grace Perry, and that's just stupid.

[PatientZero]

EDIT: Pz now that your post is visible, and I've read it (and I know I may seem like an inconsiderate jackass for asking this but bear with me), could you please post it in spoilers next time?

Oh hell, my bad, I normally try to be good about these things but it just straight up didn't occur to me, sorry about that.

[Goemar]

You know Sony, I don't mind giving you £150 for a new 12gb PS3. My old one is dead, I can back it up (after temporarily fixing it), slap that HDD in the new one and all is well.
Oh wait, I can't because I need a HDD caddy that for some reason doesn't come with the new PS3 12gb... and I can't buy it ANYWHERE.

I'm literally (correct use) waiting for the caddy to come out to buy the new one... bah.

[Phaze]

New Trojan Horse thing going around on Skype with the "lol is this you?" message (sometimes in other languages) linking via URL shortener (goo.gl) to a zip containing a very obvious Trojan exe - yet people keep running it and perpetuating it!

I shouldn't have to say this, but do not run it, for the love of god. I don't know the full extent of the damage it could do but it could do anything up to compromising everything on your machine - I don't know. I didn't bother trying to decompile it to make sense of it.

[Kriven]

These fucking people I live with...

It's really no wonder I'm so fucking depressed.

[Garamonde]

Maybe you should see if you can find a place to go like Devicho did? I dunno...

[PrettyNier]

Today means something to me, it's a birthday for someone I don't know anymore, last year I didn't care and next year I might not remember, but for today at least it feels important.

i get it, dont think i dont; the reasons why
but the behavior in regards to this is a little creepy
and i'm pretty sure you know what i'm talking about here
so as someone from the other end of things
i'm going to ask if you can try to refrain - for the betterment of everyone

yeah?

[PatientZero]

i get it, dont think i dont; the reasons why
but the behavior in regards to this is a little creepy
and i'm pretty sure you know what i'm talking about here
so as someone from the other end of things
i'm going to ask if you can try to refrain - for the betterment of everyone

yeah?

Well, that's a little cryptic, you might have to fill me in on which particular thing I've been doing is creepy exactly.

Is it the posting about it? I try to keep this stuff to myself for the most part, I know it makes some people uncomfortable and as much as I like to be open about my condition as much as possible there's a lot of it that's very private.
Or is it, as I suspect, the third party who I won't name that's apparently trying to stir up the same old tired drama again?

'Cause if it's the second one you're probably better off talking to me in private about it, it's a messy topic and I've been sick as a dog the past few days so I only know bits and pieces from relayed messages I've got between playing games and falling asleep.

[PrettyNier]

It isn't the posting about all of your stuff that bugs me - by all means, leaving the unnamed party unnamed is a good thing; and spoilering it, as well. People should be able to talk about problems they have. All good.

I'll reply to the rest later, I don't have time now; probably in private, if I do.