Oh hey I fell down

[Marth]

Hi TSR,
It finally happened. Yes, I've been busted and am on lock down for the next couple of months. Luckily not by the police, that would make this situation far worse than it is. Needless to say, I have to bounce from the internet for a bit because my access is severely limited by my parents who have turned my home into a police state.

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll briefly explain because I'm not proud of any of this in the slightest. Most have you have seen me posting about my "party" life here and there in both the happy and unhappy topics, well I took things a bit too far. In reality none of this was "partying", rather it was self medicating in public and in an acceptable place to do so where I wouldn't be looked upon as doing something "wrong". I have some conditions I'd rather not explain, so we'll label them all has "intense depression", because that sums up what they do to me which is what leads me to alcohol abuse. I am an alcoholic, and I am not proud of it. I am also a substance abusing fool and am in no way proud of that either. My "friends"(who I'm severely revising right now) did nothing to stop me from reaching this point. But why would they? They knew nothing about my problems. They simply took this as "HE'S GOING HARD! TOTAL PARTY GUY HERE", and I won't lie it brought me a lot of joy. I was well received at parties because of it, I was "friends" with basically everyone and everyone liked having me around. Because I could do these things that they couldn't because they made them sick or they were afraid to do....and for good reason. Needless to say I realize now that these are not the kinds of people I should have been associating with especially with my "fragile" state. I embraced something that I wasn't and shouldn't be, hell I nearly died every couple of weekends in miscellaneous ways due to my ignorance and attempt to "medicate".

Anyway, last Friday a good "friend" of mine was having an open house party for her birthday since her parents were out of town. I was invited, and showed up early. We sat around and hung out waiting for people to show up, and as they did I became more and more self-conscience and began taking jager bombs(far too many in way too short a time). I was on my ass in a matter of 45 minutes, completely drunk and out of control. I barely remember the night, all I know is I pissed some guys off, got into a fight woke up with a black eye and was missing an eyebrow. That's right they shaved off my fucking eyebrow. That's when I knew my cover was blown about where I was for the night, and on top of it my friend who had to drive me home had lost his keys, so I was late coming home and late to work. Some fucking "friends" I have, right?

I came home wreaking of liquor, beaten up, missing an eyebrow and on top of it I was late. Obviously my parents took my ass to the cleaners'. Now I can't keep my own money, because my parents don't trust what I'll do with it(yes I'm 5 again guys!), I'm not allowed to leave the house until June, oh and this all could've been avoided even though my eyebrow is missing and my eye was black and so on .... IF I ONLY TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT WHERE I WAS GOING! At least then they would've known I was safe. It's still pending whether or not I'll be randomly drug tested, right now I'll pass if they do. I don't intend on going back and I believe I'm to see a therapist soon to talk about my "problems" and get all this sorted out. All I can say is thank God they caught me with this one and not one of the times where my friends wanted to take me to the hospital because of everything I've done to myself.

In short guys, if you have "complications", don't self medicate. As obvious as it should've been for me, drugs and alcohol actually aren't the answer. Be honest with your parents because you'll be surprised how respectful and open minded they may actually be (despite in what they portray themselves as). I fell down and this time no one was there to help me up and keep me safe. I'm honestly lucky to be alive at this point, given my past. I may actually start going to a rehab type of set-up to make sure that I keep myself in line, may be it's time I go back to the psychiatrist and get some meds for my other problems. All I know is, is that I can't keep going down the life path I'm on because the end of the road is really fucking close.

P.S. Again my parents are policing everything, including my phone and facebook. So please no posts on my wall about this, and for those of you who have my number ABSOLUTELY NO TEXTS!
ALSO, I still DO have access to my xbox! So if anyone is up for a few games of UMvC3 please send me a party invite or something! I'll try and post here as often as I can but again my internet access is severely limited.

[puggsoy]

Ugh. I might not be in a position to say this, but I really hate it when people say how stupid they were after they did something stupid. No offence, truly, but it's just that because I myself am doing everything I can to avoid drugs/alcohol/so forth, when I read peoples' stories about their past ignorance, I feel really annoyed, not to mention sorry for them.

But it's good to see that you learned your lesson. I know what you mean about parents, they do often seem pretty evil while it's actually an extremely disguised way of protecting you.

I won't make too many comments on this, it'll probably turn into a very unpleasant rant (not to mention time-consuming, since the TV's on), but once again I'm glad for you that things have turned out how they have, rather than continuing. It's a bummer that you can't use the internet, but it's a good reminder, and at least you got your XBox.

Anyway, sorry to see you go, but hoping to meet a new and improved Pope when (if?) you return. Maybe with a new username, too

[Previous]

Well sometimes you just slip into such a kind of lifestyle without really noticing what you are doing. Glad to hear you're on your way out and I wish you good luck.


You already managed the ad on top to display content related to drug abuse, heh.

[Gwen]

Pope, I shall try and get UMvC3, and if you still have Black Ops or MW2 I'd be down to play that with you as well! I hope things work out for you and I hope to see you back in full glory in awhile

[Garamonde]

I'm glad to see that you're changing for the better, since that stuff can really destroy you.
I wish you all the best and I look forward to the day you are clean and find happiness for the rest of your life. I know you can do it.

[redblueyellow]

I've known of a lot of friends and family who got caught up in alcohol some way or another, glad to see you are on the road to recovery before it was too late.

Good luck with these next couple of months, as it definitely won't be easy.

[~Axis~]

You're a lucky guy. You're on your road to recovery before it was too late. Some people don't get this chance, sadly. Some people accidentally kill themselves by doing something dangerous when there high. It's a good thing that you're on your road to change.