11-18-2017, 07:16 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-18-2017, 07:17 AM by Benny The Miraj.)
It's been a while since I got back to this, but I am now going over my book again. A while I showed the main star of the book to you guys while advertising my book, and as it turns out, you hated him, and I could tell why. There was no connection between his species and his role in life. His excessive kindness despite his life made just as little sense. The only thing that really ballanced the character out was the fact that he's used in more-or-less an action setting that not only starts out a complete and total weakling, but REMAINS a total weakling from beginning to end. I had writen one big book, but decided to split it into two, and years ago I fleshed out the first half of the book, even changed the cutesy species to things that relate to their story more to give them more symbolism, but going back to it, I see I still have work to do before I am ready to consider trying to get it published somehow. One thing is I've been trying to flesh out the main stars. So... here's the new and (hopefully) improved cast of Benny and the World of Mythica, which will from here on out be known as Gaidens of Monstrum.
Main Character: Benny Jackdaw
Benny has now been changed into a giant rat, as it fits his life of squalor more than a pink unicorn rabbit passed off as an almiraj. ...And by "Giant Rat" I don't mean an anthropomorphic rat, I mean a gigantic, ten-foot quadrupedal rat. In addition to changing his species, I'm also trying to add some more to his character. For example, he's kind around his friend Conan, but is quite bitter about his life, and often goes on rants about his life. In addition, he has a bias against fat creatures, as he blames them for famine. Being a quadruped, it's also difficult for him to grab stuff since he doesn't have oposable thumbs. For this, he relies on his friends help. If his friends aren't there, he generally struggles for several minutes trying to do something.
Best Friend: Conan the Construct
For this redesign, I looked to none-other than Frankenstein's monster, as I wanted a someone misunderstood creature to represent an ugly, yet gentle creature like Conan. I'm still trying to flesh this character out, though. Like Benny, he's a fairly poor creature with no real magical abilities except he's fairly strong. Though he hides behind a very slow-talking voice, he's actually quite smart. ...My problem is I'm not sure of what kind of character flaws to give him to flesh him out.
Villain: Kazek Monocorn
That's right, now Kazek is the almiraj, and he's closer to a proper one, though in this world, true almiraj's are rare compared to their more populous subspecies. Kazek's a sly creature, but likes to think of himself as a genius, and his ego works against him. My problem, though, is that this feels a bit generic. One big thing about him is the fact that he goes around acting like he's evil without a motive: that he's a true psychopath. His motive for mass murdering creatures, however, turns out to be deeper than he lets on, though it's not hinted at till the end of the book, and it's fully revealed in the second book that I'm working on after I'm done with the first one.
Main Female A: Patricia "Defylar" Monocorn
The wife of Kazek who married him out of pity, and her reason for marrying him may shed light on his true motives. She's a nosey creature and somewhat annoying, but has a lot of admiration for Benny. Her biggest drawback, however, is one of the reasons she likes Benny, a creature who appears to be "large-footed." This is me trying to take a risk with a character flaw by adding a fetish to this character. as it's something I feel like I've never seen in media, though it's restrained in the book, as this isn't shoved in your face and, usually, is only hinted at until it's eventually confirmed late in the story.
Main Female B: Gahjira Amirun
She's actually based off two things: She's a large cat with two tails, so she's part based off of a nekomata, but she is also associated with the Lithuanian goddess of fire, Gabija, who also is associated with cats. As such, the species in the book, known as Bijimata, are fire-magic specialists. Gahjira seems like your standard Obese Cop trope, except she's a no-nonsense cop who can kick butt and has powerful magic. ...Which might be why I'm not happy with her current state. While I want her to be a compitent creature, I'm not sure about a flaw for her yet. Perhaps a tendancy to corrupt justice and/or follow laws blindly?
Other Friend: Fleet the Dragon
Originally all dragons in my book were anthro. Now Dragons are split into two catigories: Half-Dragons who are anthro but less adept at magic and Full-Dragons who are strong in magic, but are quadrupeds like Benny. Fleet is a slightly bird-brained creature, showing acts of clumsiness and slight stupidity at time, and often acts as a comic relief character, but when he puts his mind to it, he can be compitent as well. I kind of dislike characters who just exist as comic relief, so I want Fleet to be more then that. Fleet, compared to most Full-Dragons, has fairly weak magical abilities limited basically to just your standard firebreathing ability. I can't say he's a Gary-Stu, yet I almost feel like Fleet's a bit... generic.
Supporting Cast A: Trenton the Winter Warg
Trying to avoid plain anthros, Winter Wargs in this book are an anthropomorphic mix of wolf and polar bear, often excelling in water/ice based magic. Trenton is a creature who's cold magic is about as strong as Gahjira's fire magic. Trenton is slightly cowardly, though, and while not an idiot is also slightly slow in the mind. His cowardice shows when his "long-time friend" Branton comes into the picture.
Supporting Cast B: Madison B. Jules
He's a variation of a Tanuki I made up that borrows features from Red Pandas, including a gigantic tail that helps balance out these forward heavy creatures, who'd have a hard time standing without it. He I feel like I've made some progress with. He's a somewhat grumpy creature, and while he's charitable, he is somewhat bitter about parting with so much of his money to help out other creatures. He is especially bitter towards Benny's cousin Herman Jackdaw who is ALSO rich, but refuses to spend money on anyone but himself. Herman I feel like I still need to flesh out.
Supporting Cast C: Branton the three-headed warg.
This creature's based off a legend I feel I don't need to explain, but is a polar opposite to Trenton. Branton's three heads all have their own personality, the middle one being very cold and cruel, another head being a bit loopy, with a final head being sly, manipulative and yet very cowardly and decietful. In fact, it's the third head that basically acts as the brains of the whole creature, though he can only control one arm, where the center head controls the legs and the last head controls the remaining arm. They are a creature that relies on each other to fully function, but they don't get along very well. ...Yet something about this character still feels... generic for some reason.
There's even more characters in the story, but there's too many to list. Like I said, I got the book mapped and writen out, and a rough draft is complete, right now I just need to make some adjustments to the story to give it more fluidity, creativity and quality.
Main Character: Benny Jackdaw
Benny has now been changed into a giant rat, as it fits his life of squalor more than a pink unicorn rabbit passed off as an almiraj. ...And by "Giant Rat" I don't mean an anthropomorphic rat, I mean a gigantic, ten-foot quadrupedal rat. In addition to changing his species, I'm also trying to add some more to his character. For example, he's kind around his friend Conan, but is quite bitter about his life, and often goes on rants about his life. In addition, he has a bias against fat creatures, as he blames them for famine. Being a quadruped, it's also difficult for him to grab stuff since he doesn't have oposable thumbs. For this, he relies on his friends help. If his friends aren't there, he generally struggles for several minutes trying to do something.
Best Friend: Conan the Construct
For this redesign, I looked to none-other than Frankenstein's monster, as I wanted a someone misunderstood creature to represent an ugly, yet gentle creature like Conan. I'm still trying to flesh this character out, though. Like Benny, he's a fairly poor creature with no real magical abilities except he's fairly strong. Though he hides behind a very slow-talking voice, he's actually quite smart. ...My problem is I'm not sure of what kind of character flaws to give him to flesh him out.
Villain: Kazek Monocorn
That's right, now Kazek is the almiraj, and he's closer to a proper one, though in this world, true almiraj's are rare compared to their more populous subspecies. Kazek's a sly creature, but likes to think of himself as a genius, and his ego works against him. My problem, though, is that this feels a bit generic. One big thing about him is the fact that he goes around acting like he's evil without a motive: that he's a true psychopath. His motive for mass murdering creatures, however, turns out to be deeper than he lets on, though it's not hinted at till the end of the book, and it's fully revealed in the second book that I'm working on after I'm done with the first one.
Main Female A: Patricia "Defylar" Monocorn
The wife of Kazek who married him out of pity, and her reason for marrying him may shed light on his true motives. She's a nosey creature and somewhat annoying, but has a lot of admiration for Benny. Her biggest drawback, however, is one of the reasons she likes Benny, a creature who appears to be "large-footed." This is me trying to take a risk with a character flaw by adding a fetish to this character. as it's something I feel like I've never seen in media, though it's restrained in the book, as this isn't shoved in your face and, usually, is only hinted at until it's eventually confirmed late in the story.
Main Female B: Gahjira Amirun
She's actually based off two things: She's a large cat with two tails, so she's part based off of a nekomata, but she is also associated with the Lithuanian goddess of fire, Gabija, who also is associated with cats. As such, the species in the book, known as Bijimata, are fire-magic specialists. Gahjira seems like your standard Obese Cop trope, except she's a no-nonsense cop who can kick butt and has powerful magic. ...Which might be why I'm not happy with her current state. While I want her to be a compitent creature, I'm not sure about a flaw for her yet. Perhaps a tendancy to corrupt justice and/or follow laws blindly?
Other Friend: Fleet the Dragon
Originally all dragons in my book were anthro. Now Dragons are split into two catigories: Half-Dragons who are anthro but less adept at magic and Full-Dragons who are strong in magic, but are quadrupeds like Benny. Fleet is a slightly bird-brained creature, showing acts of clumsiness and slight stupidity at time, and often acts as a comic relief character, but when he puts his mind to it, he can be compitent as well. I kind of dislike characters who just exist as comic relief, so I want Fleet to be more then that. Fleet, compared to most Full-Dragons, has fairly weak magical abilities limited basically to just your standard firebreathing ability. I can't say he's a Gary-Stu, yet I almost feel like Fleet's a bit... generic.
Supporting Cast A: Trenton the Winter Warg
Trying to avoid plain anthros, Winter Wargs in this book are an anthropomorphic mix of wolf and polar bear, often excelling in water/ice based magic. Trenton is a creature who's cold magic is about as strong as Gahjira's fire magic. Trenton is slightly cowardly, though, and while not an idiot is also slightly slow in the mind. His cowardice shows when his "long-time friend" Branton comes into the picture.
Supporting Cast B: Madison B. Jules
He's a variation of a Tanuki I made up that borrows features from Red Pandas, including a gigantic tail that helps balance out these forward heavy creatures, who'd have a hard time standing without it. He I feel like I've made some progress with. He's a somewhat grumpy creature, and while he's charitable, he is somewhat bitter about parting with so much of his money to help out other creatures. He is especially bitter towards Benny's cousin Herman Jackdaw who is ALSO rich, but refuses to spend money on anyone but himself. Herman I feel like I still need to flesh out.
Supporting Cast C: Branton the three-headed warg.
This creature's based off a legend I feel I don't need to explain, but is a polar opposite to Trenton. Branton's three heads all have their own personality, the middle one being very cold and cruel, another head being a bit loopy, with a final head being sly, manipulative and yet very cowardly and decietful. In fact, it's the third head that basically acts as the brains of the whole creature, though he can only control one arm, where the center head controls the legs and the last head controls the remaining arm. They are a creature that relies on each other to fully function, but they don't get along very well. ...Yet something about this character still feels... generic for some reason.
There's even more characters in the story, but there's too many to list. Like I said, I got the book mapped and writen out, and a rough draft is complete, right now I just need to make some adjustments to the story to give it more fluidity, creativity and quality.