08-19-2009, 01:20 AM
So, this is my attempt at supernatural fiction, this time it's vampires. Be warned, this entire post is pretty much a skeleton script of the lines I want the two characters to say. The first few paragraphs are semi complete, but are still very rough and the whole thing is very much in progress. Also, how do you index in these types of posts? Everything I've tried left if like this, and it's much harder to read.
“Do you like it when I do this?” The dark haired girl asked in a sultry voice. Ben looked around, the surroundings were hazy and he couldn’t make out much beside the bed he was sitting on and the girl running her tongue over his navel. He grunted in response, unsure of what to make of the situation. It certainly seemed like a dream, and he didn’t recognize the girl, although he could attribute that to his drunken charm from earlier in the bar. Right, the bar, he was at the bar with friends. They were at an end of the world party after the discovery of the existence of vampires. And where did he go from there? His head hurt, it must’ve been a hangover.
“Is everything okay?” The girl asked him, and Ben realized he’d been staring off the entire time, drunkenly trying to piece his night together. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He responded. “Good,” she replied “Now I’m going to do something you really enjoy.” She grazed her teeth over his midsection, and that was around when Ben noticed the old man sitting in a chair beside the bed jerking off. He tried to speak but the grizzled man cut him off. “Now is when you wake up, if you don’t want to die.”
Ben awoke suddenly, back in his own bed, in his own apartment, with his own best friend kneeling at his midsection. “Dude, Dave, what the fuck are you doing?!” He shouted. Dave stood up and back away several steps, mouth agape, his canines particularly sharp. Ben stared at the teeth, and noticed Dave looked paler than usual. “Dave.” Ben said trying to cautiously broach the subject. “ Are you a vampire?”
Dave sighed and looked at his feet, ashamed but unable to hide a small smirk. “A little bit.”
Ben sat up. “A little bit? Weren’t you just trying to bite me?” He started scanning the room for anything he could use as a weapon incase Dave tried to attack him.
Scratching the back of his head and sporting a wolf-like grin, Dave chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I was. Don’t worry though, I’m back in control, I’m good.”
“I can’t believe you would just try to bite me like that. And after I let you stay here without rent. I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends, it’s just an instinct thing. Like not being able to eat garlic, or hating the sun more than Nickelback.”
Ben stood up and stuck his index finger under Dave’s chin. “You take that back.
“Alright, almost as much as Nickelback.”
Ben sat back down and rested his head in his hands. “Well this sorta sucks.”
“Yeah, but it’s not all bad. I can see in the dark, and I’m pretty quick now.”
“Yeah, fantastic.”
“So, uh, just wondering, you’ve always said you hated that bird you have, right?”
“Oh Jesus, don’t tell me you ate my bird.”
“Just a bit?”
“For fucks sake, look, I’m not sure you can stay here any longer.”
“Are you kicking me out?”
“Well yeah, if I don’t then you might kill me in my sleep, or turn me into a vampire.”
"It’s not like you could keep me out anyways. Vampire super strength, remember?”
“Isn’t there something about vampires where they can’t enter a house uninvited?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Then you’re uninvited, get out.”
“You can’t just kick me out, I’ve got no job, nowhere to go!”
Shoving him to the door. “Not my problem, out. Come on, go, shoo.”
“I’m a vampire, not a cat.”
Finally reaching the door. “You’re uninvited. Leave me alone.”
“Fine, fuck. Listen, I called Lauren before I lost control and tried to bite you, I’m meeting the guys at the pub for drinks, you wanna come?”
Ben sighed and looked at Dave, then back at his dark apartment and bloody empty cage, then back to Dave. “Yeah sure. I could use a drink.”
“Awesome, they're on me.” Dave exclaimed as Ben locked the door and headed down the hall.
“Do you like it when I do this?” The dark haired girl asked in a sultry voice. Ben looked around, the surroundings were hazy and he couldn’t make out much beside the bed he was sitting on and the girl running her tongue over his navel. He grunted in response, unsure of what to make of the situation. It certainly seemed like a dream, and he didn’t recognize the girl, although he could attribute that to his drunken charm from earlier in the bar. Right, the bar, he was at the bar with friends. They were at an end of the world party after the discovery of the existence of vampires. And where did he go from there? His head hurt, it must’ve been a hangover.
“Is everything okay?” The girl asked him, and Ben realized he’d been staring off the entire time, drunkenly trying to piece his night together. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He responded. “Good,” she replied “Now I’m going to do something you really enjoy.” She grazed her teeth over his midsection, and that was around when Ben noticed the old man sitting in a chair beside the bed jerking off. He tried to speak but the grizzled man cut him off. “Now is when you wake up, if you don’t want to die.”
Ben awoke suddenly, back in his own bed, in his own apartment, with his own best friend kneeling at his midsection. “Dude, Dave, what the fuck are you doing?!” He shouted. Dave stood up and back away several steps, mouth agape, his canines particularly sharp. Ben stared at the teeth, and noticed Dave looked paler than usual. “Dave.” Ben said trying to cautiously broach the subject. “ Are you a vampire?”
Dave sighed and looked at his feet, ashamed but unable to hide a small smirk. “A little bit.”
Ben sat up. “A little bit? Weren’t you just trying to bite me?” He started scanning the room for anything he could use as a weapon incase Dave tried to attack him.
Scratching the back of his head and sporting a wolf-like grin, Dave chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I was. Don’t worry though, I’m back in control, I’m good.”
“I can’t believe you would just try to bite me like that. And after I let you stay here without rent. I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends, it’s just an instinct thing. Like not being able to eat garlic, or hating the sun more than Nickelback.”
Ben stood up and stuck his index finger under Dave’s chin. “You take that back.
“Alright, almost as much as Nickelback.”
Ben sat back down and rested his head in his hands. “Well this sorta sucks.”
“Yeah, but it’s not all bad. I can see in the dark, and I’m pretty quick now.”
“Yeah, fantastic.”
“So, uh, just wondering, you’ve always said you hated that bird you have, right?”
“Oh Jesus, don’t tell me you ate my bird.”
“Just a bit?”
“For fucks sake, look, I’m not sure you can stay here any longer.”
“Are you kicking me out?”
“Well yeah, if I don’t then you might kill me in my sleep, or turn me into a vampire.”
"It’s not like you could keep me out anyways. Vampire super strength, remember?”
“Isn’t there something about vampires where they can’t enter a house uninvited?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Then you’re uninvited, get out.”
“You can’t just kick me out, I’ve got no job, nowhere to go!”
Shoving him to the door. “Not my problem, out. Come on, go, shoo.”
“I’m a vampire, not a cat.”
Finally reaching the door. “You’re uninvited. Leave me alone.”
“Fine, fuck. Listen, I called Lauren before I lost control and tried to bite you, I’m meeting the guys at the pub for drinks, you wanna come?”
Ben sighed and looked at Dave, then back at his dark apartment and bloody empty cage, then back to Dave. “Yeah sure. I could use a drink.”
“Awesome, they're on me.” Dave exclaimed as Ben locked the door and headed down the hall.