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im gay
#1
im writing a story here it is http://goldbarboy.webs.com/bottle.htm tell me what you think

ps its not done yet duh
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#2
I stopped reading as soon as I noticed you didn't even bother to include capitals. If you want people to dedicate their time to read your story, dedicate yours so the final product is decent, regardless the content.
Keep reading, bookworm.
Someday the words will grow off your eyeballs.
Someday you will understand what it is you feel.
The poke of reality will strike like thunders in a tea cup.
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#3
if youre really that picky i dont want you reading my story
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#4
Yeah, if you're not even going to adhere to basic grammar rules like capitalisation, I'm not sure if I want to read it either. There's a difference between a stylistic choice and just being outright lazy.
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#5
Yeah, but did you actually READ it, Groove? I only thumbed through it and I noticed ALL of the grammar was spot-on except for the capitals. Leaving me to believe that no capitals is a stylistic choice, rather than laziness. He wasn't lazy enough to SPELL things correctly, and use correct punctuation in practically all of his sentences.

So what's the problem? It's obviously not laziness.
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#6
Ho ho ho! Aside from the punctuation problems (which is a minor drawback) this is a nice little story.

Keep at it.

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#7
(11-25-2009, 04:46 PM)Number Six Wrote: Yeah, but did you actually READ it, Groove? I only thumbed through it and I noticed ALL of the grammar was spot-on except for the capitals. Leaving me to believe that no capitals is a stylistic choice, rather than laziness. He wasn't lazy enough to SPELL things correctly, and use correct punctuation in practically all of his sentences.

So what's the problem? It's obviously not laziness.

No, I didn't read it, but can you blame me? Things like care in presentation, or at least going to the length of explaining what the story's about in topic title or as a synopsis in the first post in the thread are small (not especially difficult) things that might want to make people actually read it.

Can you honestly say that when someone posts sheets on SD using the attachment system, that you've gone and opened it every time? It's the same thing.

But since you're telling me it's readable otherwise, then I don't mind reading it.

Edit: You're right, it's not bad. As a doctor, I'm a little surprised the e-mail was structured like that (he seems to have the same sentence structure style as the main character, which usually shouldn't be the case unless they're the same person), and it petered out a bit towards the end of the passage, but it does feel like it'll go somewhere if you stick at it~
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Thanks to Pik and Solink; they are sexy people. Heart
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#8
!!Special Capitalized Edition!!~> http://goldbarboy.webs.com/bottle_2.htm <~!!Special Capitalized Edition!!

and thanks santa!! :- )
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#9
(11-25-2009, 04:56 PM)GrooveMan.exe Wrote: Can you honestly say that when someone posts sheets on SD using the attachment system, that you've gone and opened it every time? It's the same thing.
I don't want to make it seem like I'm debating or anything but

The attachments thing is a legitimate rule in SD; capitalization isn't a rule in this board. And the way I see it, as long as the punctuation and other general rules of grammar are followed, why not be able to leave it the way it is?

I'm trying to remember this book that I read a while back in school... I honestly don't remember anything about it, except for the stylistic choice it took in its phrasing of words. Punctuation and whatnot were used correctly, but there were certain words that were spelled "incorrectly" as a way of bringing you to a better POV with the character, I guess you could say.

I dunno. I'm not much of a reader anyway but I thought that no capitals added kinda a sense of charm to the story. :V
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#10
p. good
keep going
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#11
Ok, um, I apologize for calling you out, I guess? I didn't want to start a debate or anything. But just opening the file again and seeing the capitals there motivates me so much more to want to read it. Sorry if I acted like an ass, not my intention. But the capitals seriously do help the presentation of a story, and makes it less tiring to read.

I'll edit this post with my thoughts when I'm done reading. Again, sorry if it bothered you. But I do believe it's for the best.

EDIT: Cool stuff. It may or may not be intentional, but you know when to drag on and when not to do it, and I'm legitimately thrilled.

Punctuation and whatnot were used correctly, but there were certain words that were spelled "incorrectly" as a way of bringing you to a better POV with the character, I guess you could say.
Stylistic choices like that are used when it actually fits the moment. For example, I read a book once in which there was no punctuation or capitalization because the narrator was a five year-old girl. Internal monologues often disregard punctuation, spelling, etc. so you get more into the mind of a character. However, unjustified lack of capitals only help make the book more tiring to read. For example, if he had left the e-mail without capitals, or only the character's thoughts were uncapitalized, then it would have made lot of sense, and would have been a great tool. But the whole text didn't have capitals, and that's not "style".
Keep reading, bookworm.
Someday the words will grow off your eyeballs.
Someday you will understand what it is you feel.
The poke of reality will strike like thunders in a tea cup.
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#12
I actually like this

it developed pretty well, and I definitely picked up on a sense of the purposeless atmosphere of the story

I'm just a little iffy about the whole noncaps thing, but then again it definitely made it a more interesting read~
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#13
yes, yes, I want to know the rest of it! Please continue c:
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#14
honestly I found the non-capitalized version far easier to read
with the capitals included, it appeared as if every other word was capitalized :/
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#15
I like the way it's being told.

Very good job. :]
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