+- The VG Resource (https://www.vg-resource.com)
+-- Forum: Archive (https://www.vg-resource.com/forum-65.html)
+--- Forum: July 2014 Archive (https://www.vg-resource.com/forum-139.html)
+---- Forum: Creative Zone (https://www.vg-resource.com/forum-86.html)
+----- Forum: Creativity (https://www.vg-resource.com/forum-21.html)
+----- Thread: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven (/thread-11734.html)
The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Kriven - 03-03-2010
Some of these are also in previous threads, but I'll just update this thread when I have new stuff...
Mask
I wear a mask
A mask that hides
My thoughts away
But-
I wear a mask
As do you
As do they
-today-
I wear a mask
My true self
Sadly denied
-I-
I wear a mask
A smile,
Painted and dry
-tear-
I wear a mask
Forgetting aspirations
Hopes and, desires
-my-
I wear a mask
It suffocates me
I can't breathe
-mask-
I wear my mask
At least I did
Until I threw my fear
-away.
Coldest Nightmate
I stare at the cold day,
Through the frosted screen.
In the snow she stands,
A figure too seldom seen.
I forget to breathe,
For just a moment.
Pound the glass.
And immediately lament.
She looks at me,
Shakes her head,
Then turns away.
My heart feels dead.
Beneath the Skin
I look around, somewhat sadly.
Why do I feel so alone even among this group of friends?
I know the reason, but I'd rather not admit it.
It's because I long for...
Why is this being written?
What do you think you're doing?
Stop moping!
Be a man!
Aren't you a man?
I feel weak sometimes,
but never like I do when I think of telling her.
My cowardice is soul consuming,
despicable I know.
Shut up!
Where do you get off?
Just who said you could be so depressed?
Man-up!
You're disrespecting your gender!
I've felt like this before,
I think,
I'm not sure,
It's not hurt like this before.
What hurts?
What pain?
You ain't bleedin',
So stop cryin'!
You're hurt because you're weak!
Sometimes I want to tell her,
No, always I do.
But she won't want me,
not even I do.
If you told her,
She would laugh.
Why wouldn't she?
You're so stupid!
Give up, man-up!
I fear denial,
Judgement.
And it would be awkward,
would I hurt her?
Of course you would!
Look what you do to you!
Do you really think she'd be
Happy near you?
Even your mother hates you!
In dreams I tell her,
and she says yes,
but then reality is considered,
and dream becomes nightmare.
Oh Lord, here it comes!
Here comes the crying!
The meaningless words,
and the empty tears!
It's not like you really care.
Ugly eyes,
gross physique.
Repellent smell.
Three truths of me, too apparent.
Self-concerned crybaby!
Nobody wants to read this dribble!
Why do you continue to type?
If you're so sad, just die already.
Waste of space.
It would relieve me,
to fall from the world.
But that's no solution,
death is submerged in anguish.
Shut up, moron.
I can't.
Why not?
Because I-
Because why?
I want to-
Can you?
-tell her.
But you won't...
Cheated
Am I selfish for feeling empty?
I can’t help but wonder
As I lay down to rest.
The cold has settled in me,
My plans completely foiled.
For weeks I had longed, ached for this day
But when it comes, the light is yanked away.
Why did I awake at all?
Oh yeah,
Because today was going to be special
Today was going to be great!
But no, not in my life.
Screw you, Fate.
Just once, for one day
I’d like something to be right.
Is that so wrong? So selfish?
That just once I want my plan to not be
Crumpled, destroyed, stomped, crush, spat on?
Of course it is.
Why would it not?
It’s just myself at the center of that thought.
But still I can’t help but feel
Cheated
Cheated out of the one potentially good day,
Cheated out of warmth
Cheated out of rest.
But over years, I have grown weary of this cheating.
So now I place my thoughts to sleep,
My heart hardly beating.
Final Farewell
They arrive in droves
And gather upon the grass,
Young and old, men and women
With clothes blacker than starless night.
Heads bowed, listening to silence,
They sway slightly as though blown by the wind,
And look down, eyes focused on the
Coffin.
How did it happen? - Suicide. - No, murder.
Their murmurs rise as time crawls by,
But the mournful air does not subside.
Family, and friends, all have come
Together to see off that man now lying
Dead
In wood; oak it would seem.
Flowers fall upon the bed,
A blanket of roses, lilacs and lilies.
The visitors continue to pray, to mourn, though some
Cannot bear to see longer,
And turn away, or into shoulders
As water slides down their rose-red cheeks.
Silence settles over them again.
The flowers stop falling,
The sobbing silences,
But the mourning goes on,
As they bid their friend
His final farewell.
Staring Contest
I look at him,
He looks at me.
Our glares bore into each other’s eyes,
His are blue,
A halo of gray around the pupil.
Just like mine.
I blink once,
Now twice.
He did the same.
We have both lost,
Our blinks timed together.
We pause briefly, then the war carries on.
I scrunch my face in disgust,
And he returns with scrutiny.
His eyes hide a deep secret.
I want to tear it out of him.
But I relent, my lids having grown heavy,
And I look away from the mirror.
Pretend You're Here
Cold heart,
Lonely room.
I hear the screaming
Far too soon.
Needing someone to hold me tight,
I can't get through this lightless night
Without you.
A ghost whispers
Of the past.
Answering questions
I never asked.
Things that chase me, things I fear
Only you can stop these tears.
Only you.
No eyes to see,
No ear to tell,
Nobody to hold
No light in hell.
Then there was you,
The only person who
Would hear.
Where have you gone
At this late hour?
To home, to friends?
To let me cower?
I need you now, but you are there,
So I'll lie down and pretend you're here
With me.
Rope
It strangles
It kills
It bites
And it burns.
But this rope does so much more.
It loves
It comforts
It soothes
And it relieves
Me of this world.
Endless Night
Darkness moves in
Removing my sight.
Cold kisses me flesh,
In this endless night.
But without love I,
Have no will to fight.
Hold
Fear of loss
Of death
Of the unknown
Desperately holding on
To hope
To love
Never letting go
Of safety
Of you
Knowing that I
Can't survive
Can't hold another
So please don't
Let me die
Let me go
You're the only branch
I can hold.
Disassociate
Out of focus
False touch
Misleading smile
Cold shell
Where is the warmth?
The happy eyes?
The lasting caress?
Where are you?
Fleshy shadow
Shallow eyes
Silhouetted soul
Bitter breath
Now just a memory
Replaced by you
So unfamiliar
Who are you?
Letting go
With little care
After you brought me
Way out here
Where is this
This place so dark,
So empty, so cold?
Where am I?
Terror
They hide in Darkness
Pain
Panic
Chaos
The monsters and the nightmares
Lost
Confused
Alone
They come in the night
Crawling
Creeping
Stalking
To descend upon you
Falling
Sleeping
Forgetting
Your heart is theirs
Silent
Cold
Gone
For the taking
Bare
Like a shell
My skin was thick
Hard, impenetrable
A shield against the world
And then there was you
Picking and poking
Scratching and peeling
Until I grew weak
And let you in
We spent some days together
Me without my skin
Then you left
Left me alone, bare to the world
Helplessly exposed to the pervading horrors of
Life
I quickly began to whither.
Soon I will die.
Twirl
Up, down
All around
A circle in my hand
It spins, it loops
Dancing through the air.
Like a lever it cranks
Prompting my machine of thought
Spinning and spiraling
Not growing dizzy
But somehow
Learning to speak
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Kriven - 03-04-2010
No opinions then? Come on, somebody tear me a new asshole.
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Marth - 03-04-2010
I have nothing to say critique wise, I'm impressed. Some of these are rather dark man, but that's kinda cool, I'm a fan of Poe and all so I kinda dig darker stuff. Just hope these suicide ones aren't things you actually considered doing.
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Kriven - 03-05-2010
Thanks G-Man, comments appreciated
I'm glad you're impressed with them enough not to have any critique, I suppose, I think most of them are rubbish personally :p
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Kriven - 03-05-2010
Paint the Walls Red
The walls are white,
Simple and pure.
They speak of peace
Of pleasure
But they lie.
There is no peace
Purity is dead
Let's pick up our wrists
And paint the walls red.
Life Flows Downstream
Flowing
Like a river
Trickling
To the floor
Shimmering
As though crying
Deepening
From red to black
Leaving
Me to die
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Kriven - 03-07-2010
Still Friends
I woke up this morning,
Looked at the sky,
Saw the sun rise,
Wanted to fly.
Fly amongst the clouds,
Fly right to your side,
But then I remembered,
And my ambitions died.
Never will we touch again,
No more will I see your eyes.
Your cute little ears will never again
Hear my desperate cries.
I’ll bleed quietly,
By the scars near my hand,
And fly elsewhere,
To a different land.
Saddened this has come to pass,
Dying at its end,
Because I know you didn’t mean it when
You said we’d still be friends.
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - triptych - 03-07-2010
the rhyming in that last poem comes off as so forced it's almost cringe-worthy
it's like
i'm not completely against trying to make your poems rhyme, but holy shit man
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Adam - 03-07-2010
A lot of these are done very well, and yeah, they're very dark, but lots of poetry is these days.
I agree with 1up about the rhyming in the last one, however; you could make it seem a little less forced. Otherwise, keep it up, man.
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Kriven - 03-07-2010
Thanks for the commnets.
The last one, stanza four I know is weak. Was there anything specific in the other stanzas that bothered you?
Sorry, just curious.
RE: The Definitive Poem Thread of Kriven - Oddball - 03-12-2010
Yay I get to be the pretentious art asshole again.
I personally agree with only one person in this topic so far; You.
"I think they're rubbish."
G-man is awful nice, but I would never compare this to Poe.
It's the same god-awful whiny ass 'dark' poetry I read everywhere else. I mean, I swear I've read all of these poems before.
Not just because they are everywhere, but because I went through a stage where I wrote pretty much everything here too.
I think that you could have lots of talent to actually put somewhere useful, but this is just not working.
All of it is self depressing, you are putting off this 'dark' and 'loathing' vibe, which is everywhere! I can't stress that enough. It's the reason little fan girls go running off to Twilight books and movies. It's the reason they love Edward. Quite frankly, it's sickening. If you want to put across real pain, real sorrow, you need to comprehend the opposite with just as much skill. Write poetry about life, about everything. If you can feel out all the emotions of the human range, then you can more fully express hate, sorrow, loneliness, anger etc.
Try to stay away from snow, masks and mirrors. Cliche.
I hope this is helpful, and not just sounding like a jack ass reply. I really do mean well.