06-24-2008, 10:51 AM
Zee Wrote:So, uh, your description sucks, you never really define the characters, the setting, the time frame, what's going on, why they're fighting, or any reasoning for what you're doing. The 'chapter' was too short, and your style of writing us much like applying a cheese grater to your eyeballs.
Just so you know.
Like I said, Chapter 1 sucks... Chapter 2 is a whole lot better...