Critique my WIP [UPDATE!!!]

[stache]

I feel like it's not done,or not good enough.

[Woppet*]

Cool idea.
Just doesn't look all that professional.
Visible colouring lines can be pulled off if you do them right.
But i don't think that's the case here.

Maybe try using a brush and ink to colour the black parts.
Also some of the lines are jagged.
Having perfectly straight lines isn't important.
It's more important to have continuity in your lines. Don't go over the same line twice.
If you need to create a thicker line use a thicker pen rather than going over multiple times to thicken it up.
Don't draw lines slowly either, i'm not saying go lightning speed but go fast enough that they don't wobble or stutter.

I might be wrong about the lines, maybe you did use one pen, but i still think they could be smoother.
It looks like you used scissors to cut things out too? I could be wrong. But i highly suggest buying a scalpel and cutting mat. They're only like $8-15 for both and make your cut outs look much smoother and more precise.

I'm very interested in the same kind of art as you though, and i think you have potential.
I'm gonna follow you on Deviantart and see how you get better.

[stache]

Cool idea.
Just doesn't look all that professional.
Visible colouring lines can be pulled off if you do them right.
But i don't think that's the case here.

Maybe try using a brush and ink to colour the black parts.
Also some of the lines are jagged.
Having perfectly straight lines isn't important.
It's more important to have continuity in your lines. Don't go over the same line twice.
If you need to create a thicker line use a thicker pen rather than going over multiple times to thicken it up.
Don't draw lines slowly either, i'm not saying go lightning speed but go fast enough that they don't wobble or stutter.

I might be wrong about the lines, maybe you did use one pen, but i still think they could be smoother.
It looks like you used scissors to cut things out too? I could be wrong. But i highly suggest buying a scalpel and cutting mat. They're only like $8-15 for both and make your cut outs look much smoother and more precise.

I'm very interested in the same kind of art as you though, and i think you have potential.
I'm gonna follow you on Deviantart and see how you get better.

I really appreciate your comment.


When you say a brush do you mean a brush with ink or a brush with paint?

I actually used a sharpie and went over it once, because it's really really dark. I can smoothen out the lines since it is Sharpie, so comment well appreciated.

As for the scalpel, I will look into that, but the main reason that the cuts are jagged is because I am cutting tissue paper. It is really difficult to cut straight and nicely, so maybe I won't use it as much.

Also, if you are going to watch me on DeviantART, which I appreciate tremendously, do not do it now. My first account is malfunctioning, which gives me a perfect oppurtunity to make an alternate/new account with new art. I am not at all proud of my art on that account, and I want to start fresh with good art. So once I get good at my new style and creat 2/3 works that are quality, I will create the new account.


Thank you for the help, and could you please just elaborate a little on the lines part of your critique, I'm sorry I just don't understand what you're trying to say.

Thank you.

[Garamonde]

I think it looks nice. I can agree about the jaggy lines and the colored black parts but I think you could make this better and it'll be even nicer.

[Woppet*]

I'd go to an art shop and buy some decent pens.
Sharpies absorb into the paper and make it weak and the ink spreads out. It also tints purple.

What i meant about the lines is kinda hard to explain.

Lets say you want to create a thick line? Use a thick pen rather than going over twice.
And if you mess up a little. Try not to go back and correct it. It looks kinda messy.
Continuity looks much better. So not slowing down the pen when you draw a line and not going back over the same line will look much smoother and more professional regardless of weather or not it's as perfectly shaped as it would have been if you'd gone back over the line.

And when i said brush i meant a brush with ink.
You can use the brush to soak the colours in evenly so there wont be any pen marks in your solids.

As for DeviantArt, Drop me a PM to let me know when you get your new one up.
It's really cool to have another graphic designer here on TSR.

I'm really tired right now so forgive me if none of this post makes sense.

[stache]

No, it makes perfect sense. Thank you for your help, I'll be sure to implement those comments.

I've already remade the hands to make them look cleaner and smoother, as well as changed the tissue paper to black construction paper to make it look better. Now, I'm going to buy a quality ink pen and redo the background.

I'll post a pic when I'm done.

Anything else besides those two things?

[Woppet*]

Nah i don't think there's anything else.
I used to do the exact same stuff as i just told you about.
And at college i got into using ink and stuff, it was hard to adapt to but it really pays off.

This is really nice it just needs some those finishing touches.

[stache]

Bad news guys. I don't think I'm getting an art pen or brush and ink anytime soon. It may be 1 week at most. I'm going to start something new, but I'm not ditching my WIP, I'll finish it as soon as I get the materials to do it right.


Also, I'm kind of stuck in a bit of quagmire.

I'm hoping on developing my style, which so far is the use of doodle-like patterns to create effect and the use of text cut into different shapes to be different objects/things.

I also want to create "serious" art, not really like what I posted here. I don't know, I just consider serious art to be something you'd find in an art gallery/museum. All my ideas that implement my style of art however, are hard to make "serious." I really want to use this doodle-like patterns because I like it a lot, but I also want the end product to look proffesional, like real proffesional. I guess I'll play with some small pieces (like playing card size) and see how that goes.

Any advice?

[Woppet*]

By serious art i think you mean 'Fine art'

This here looks like it's leaning more towards graphic design.

It's a real shame to lost another graphic designer to fine art :<
The world has too many fine artists as it is.

[stache]

I guess, but I'm still going to be using this style I decided, so I'm pretty much staying in graphic design

[stache]

Here it is, the updated version.


List of all the changes:
-Changed the black tissue paper behind the hands to construction paper to make it better looking.
-Smoothened out the text- hands.
-Changed the text background completely.
-Used an art pen (didn't change the look that much).
-Make all the lines and swirls smoother.

It isn't that different, but I think in all it does look better.

[Woppet*]

The lines aren't perfect but they look a LOT better.
All the solid black areas looks so much better.

[Lord Melchior]

I too see great improvement compared to the previous version.

All I can say is that it looks nice. I don't have an awful lot of experience with arts and crafts so regrettably there's not alot of critique I can give you.