I survived a whole semester playing this. Gors plays thru Pokemon Red

[Gors]

That Pidgey must be possessed by some kind of demon!!!!!

[Gors]

I soon found an imponent building in the middle of a bunch of ledges. I should enter to see what's going on.



And then I saw him



IT WAS THE VOLUPTUOUS MAGICIAN'S HOUSE



Go away, I know your perverse intentions!!

...


ok you can masturbate me, i dont care

[Gors]

This reminds me I should have caught a female partner for Durendal...

[Gors]

What does one thing have to do with other?

[Gors]

Leaving Orpheus in the Daycare Center for a while, I decided to enter the Underground Path. Not caring about the trade girl, I decided to do the things my own way.



Especially weight

[Gors]

Reaching the other side of the Underground Path, I found a couple chatting. Since I am curious like hell, I decided to listen some of their juicy chat...



I feel regret right now

[Gors]

I arrived in Vermilion City! I think... It's so hard, when the world is black-and-white!

[Gors]

Hmmm... I didn't have a lof of luck with fish (LUTEFISK) but I guess so...



Interesting! Thanks, Mr. Fisher!






(fuck you I wanted a new one)

[Gors]

Well, let's test it...



Easy meal for Houdini!

[Gors]

Looks like the Tibetan Monk has found a place to build another Ball Temple...

[Gors]

well, after walking from a city to another, nothing better than resting for a while! See ya folks!

[Kosheh]

Go away, I know your perverse intentions!!

...


ok you can masturbate me, i dont care

oh god, i'm dying


oh, btw i have a really super-secret gamer tip for u gors. no one else should hear it

super secret gamer tip for gors only that i learned on the playground as a kid. dont open if u dont wanna 0wn at pokemon

lutefisk just splashes around until level 20 when he becomes a really cool pokemon (too secret, cant tell you)

but if he cant attack, how do u level him???

when you get much farther into the game (fifth badge maybe) the levels of the pokemon you fight will be pretty decent (im talkin like lv25)
take lutefisk out of the PC, and make him the lead pokemon on your team.

go fight people or wild pokemon (ur choice) and when the battle starts, swap lutefisk out with a stronger pokemon (like shell)

they both gain the same amount of experience points, and so lutefisk will level up without actually doing anything


it's kind of tedious to do where you are in the game right now, but do know that he has potential (and evolves into one of the best pokemon ever actually)

magikarp is a real cinderella story, you see


ALSO: as fun as it sounds dont grind levels on magikarp, he has the lowest EXP yield in the game

secret gamer tip #2

the cities in the game are all black and white, yeah - but if you play the game on the super game boy, they change color when you enter them!! gadZOOKS!!

[Gors]

Upon waking up from the slumber, I talked with Alice, who was an active biologist and naturalist. She said that pollution has corrupted some of the wild monsters, melting them into nasty piles of putrid mass. Sure, the idea of catching such monster does not make me happy in the least, but it's a nasty job and someone's gotta do it.

[Gors]

I went to buy more spare balls to transform monsters with, when I found yet another man concerned with the city's environment. He adds that violent monsters have been roaming more frequently because Team Rocket releases their weak and tortured monsters to the wild, which can harm passengers and hikers...

[Gors]

The boy told me to visit his club. "There, we treat Pokemon equally without considering wealth, gender or race! You'll like it!" I don't like activist stuff that much, but seeing that it was for the greater good (and politeness), I accepted it.



Soon upon entering I saw a lot of people talking and having fun. A huge statue of a legendary monster stood up in the middle of the table, and many Pokemon were sitting together with humans. It was a really different atmosphere inside, and I started to think... Maybe balling them is not the right thing to do... They have thoughts and feels, I cannot transform them into balls.

I have noticed that my ball addiction was destroying my life. I realized I haven't been eating or drinking at all, just walking and searching for more monsters to ball. This is the second time something changed my way of life.

"I shall not transform any monster into a ball, unless if they want to join me!" - I shouted. "All balls are equal, and I am now starting to preach against inequality and opression!"

Now I am a very proud ballist, and no one shall change my mind.