koshehs_girlfriend_writes_slash_fiction.txt

[Kosheh]

it it it is

beau tiful

layton x phoenix omggggg

backstory: before my fanfiction romp I asked my girlfriend to write slashfiction between two insanely cool characters just for the hell of it. It's more like two of the vidya she's actually played, but then she told me one day that "oh, I finished the story". And then she was the awesomest girlfriend ever

p.s. she says hi rokkan

Professor Herschel Layton was so relieved that his lawyer, Phoenix Wright, had gotten him off the hook for child endangerment, that he decided to take the lawyer and his young assistant, Maya, out for burgers at their favorite restaurant. After they had finished their meal, Professor Layton decided to take Maya back to his place to thank her for all her help in getting his Not Guilty verdict.
“Hold It!” shouted Phoenix, “I think you intend to do more than just serve her a cup of tea!”
“Now Sir, I wouldn’t want to leave you disappointed after you worked so hard to prove my innocence, so if you wish, you are welcome to join us.” Layton said with a wink.
“I’ll be alright on my own, Nick.” said Maya, “He’s really cute, like a top-hat samurai!” *giggle*

-----

Layton led Maya back to his spacious apartment, where they sat sipping cups of tea and bottles of wine. After a while, neither one was wearing any clothing. Just then, the phone rang.
“I’ll just be a minute” said Layton said to Maya. “I wouldn’t want to miss some important news”
When Layton returned a moment later, he looked shaken.
“What’s wrong?” asked Maya. “Who was on the phone?”
“That was such a strange phone call,” Layton explained. “The voice on the other end of the line said ‘I’ve got my eye on you Layton! I see you with my daughter Maya. If you don’t leave her alone immediately, I’m going to beat the shit out of you!”
“But my father’s been dead for years!” exclaimed Maya. “Do you think it was his spirit on the other end of the line? Who else could it possibly have been?!”

As those words left Maya’s mouth, Layton could feel an all-too familiar sensation overcome him. It would rapidly overtake his gentlemanly manners, and turn him into a monster. It wasn’t triggered by a full-moon or a magic potion, but instead, by human stupidity. It’s not easy to go through life being smarter than everyone. Day after day, Layton had to put up with the feeble-minded citizens around him, begging him to solve the simplest of puzzles. He tried as hard as he could to be a proper gentleman at all times, but the frustration would build up inside him, and eventually it would become too much for one person to handle. At this point, his personality would transform, and he would become a vulgar, violent sociopath.

“It was your mother, you dumb slut!” screamed Layton. “When did I ever say it was a man’s voice? Honestly, the stupidity I have to put up with just to get laid!”
“My Mother?!” said Maya, “but I haven’t seen her since I was a little girl! Did you just hang up the phone on her?! That could have been my only chance to speak to her!”
“Of course I didn’t hang up on her,” said Layton, “I told her ‘I’m going to fuck your little girl’s brains out, and there’s nothing a weak little woman like you can do to hurt me, I’m a fucking sixth degree black belt!’ Then I hung up on her.”
“Do you know who my mother is!?” shouted Maya, “She’s the Master of the Kurain School of Spirit Channeling! She can assume the form of any spirit! She’s gonna get the body of some juiced up body builder and fucking kill you!”
“Ugh, if you’re gonna make such a big deal about why don’t you just press *69, so you can talk to your dear old mum, and then we can get on with this shit and 69 each other.” said Layton.
Maya picked up the phone and dialed. “Hey Mom! --- How’s life in hiding going for you? --- Yeah, this Layton guy’s being a dick, but he’s got a cute little top hat, and a huge cock. --- Don’t worry, it’s more of a one night stand, I’m not going to marry him or anything. --- Yeah, so thanks for looking out for me, mom. It’s good to talk to you! ---- I love you too! Bye!”

“Now that you’ve taken care of that,” said Layton, “get on your knees, and blow me, bitch.”
“Not with that attitude,” replied Maya. “you put on that facade of being a gentleman and then this is how you treat a girl when you’re finally alone with her? I don’t think so.”

At that point, the frustration became too much for Layton to handle, and in his drunken and infuriated state, he ran out the door naked and screaming. After a few minutes, he had calmed down, but when he returned to his apartment, he discovered that Maya had locked him out, would not open the door.
“Hmmm, this reminds me of a puzzle,” Layton thought. “Maybe if I slide some blocks around so I can get the red ball out, the door will open! First, I’ll move the purple one to the left, and the yellow one can slide down, then. . . Oh fuck, what am I talking about? How is that going to open the damn door? I guess I have no choice but to ask my rat of a landlord to let me back in.”

-----

At that very moment, his landlord was making love to the beautiful April O’Neil. As Layton was about to knock on the door, he could hear April moan “Oh, Splinter, don’t stop!” Layton knew better than to interrupt a giant elderly mutant ninja rat when he was getting it on, so he sulked back to his apartment. To his surprise, he found his young apprentice, Luke, waiting outside the door.

“There you are Professor!” said Luke. “But where are your clothes!”
“Um, I forgot to put them on and left home before I realized. Then I wasn’t able to get back into my apartment, because I had left my keys in my pocket.”
Luke didn’t believe him for a second, but decided to forget about it for the time being. That’s when Layton noticed Luke had a little girl with him, dressed just like Maya.
“This is my friend, Pearl. Luke said. “She told me she needed to talk to her cousin, who I believe is paying you a visit.”
“Mystic Mayaaaaaaaaa!” Pearl yelled, “Something terrible has happened!”
At the child’s urgent cries, Maya opened the door.

Layton was able to force his way in the door, and Luke went home. Giving up on his plans for the evening, Layton fixed a pot of tea. As the little girl blubbered about breaking an urn filled with their ancestor’s spirit, Layton spotted a photo sticking out of Maya’s purse.
“Who’s the beautiful lady in this picture?” Layton asked.
“That’s my dead sister, Mia, stop checking her out, you perv.” Maya snapped.
“Aw, that’s a shame.” sighed Layton. “What a waste of tits.”
Layton got up to pour himself a glass of wine, but realized that in his absence, Maya had downed every bottle he owned. He looked up and noticed Maya passed out on the floor. He realized that he and Pearl were alone.
“So little girl, are you one of these spirit mediums too?” Layton asked.
“Well, I’m still in training,” Pearl explained, “But I’m pretty good a channeling”
“Wow, I’d like to see that!” exclaimed Layton. “Do you think you could channel your cousin Mia for me?”
“Sure!” shouted Pearl, eager to show off her talent.
The next moment, a tall, voluptuous, Mia Fey was sitting in his living room.
A moment later, she was naked, and Layton’s dick was entering her tunnel of love.
And the moment after that, another Dick was entering Layton’s apartment.
Detective Dick Gumshoe.
Dressed head to toe in S&M gear.
Having caught his lover in the act, Gumshoe got very upset. “What are you doing, Herschel! You said you loved me!”
Mia’s spirit then left Pearl’s body.
“Oh God, and she’s a little girl, you sick fuck!”
“It’s not what it looks like!” shouted Layton. “She was a grown woman a minute ago!”
“Well, it’s a good thing I brought my handcuffs.” murmured Gumshoe, wiping a tear from his eye.

[GrooveMan.exe]

That

That was amazing.

[Sonikku]

kosheh tell your girlfriend i said hi


and that she is amazing for that

[Kosheh]

kosheh tell your girlfriend i said hi

she curiously waved like a happy 4th grader.


edit: shes 22 you sick fucks

[Sonikku]

edit: shes 22 you sick fucks

i found this hilarious idk why

[Gollum]

kosheh tell your girlfriend i said hi

she curiously waved like a happy 4th grader.


edit: shes 22 you sick fucks

It's not what it looks like, she was a little girl a minute ago!

[Kosheh]

oh hey i wrote a slashfiction again with her but im going to post it in my other topic. its epic!!!! go read it

[K.D.]

I am in love with your girlfriend, Kosheh.

I will never find anyone like her.

[Rosencrantz]

A true gentleman leaves no puzzle unsolved.

[Adam]

get her to join tsr

[Gollum]

No.
She would be tainted in to a tittering squamous mass of fettid retardation, she'd never be able to fuck Koshesh again without making some shitty inside joke.

[Ninspriterx]

This has made my day for this whole week.
tell her i said thank you.

[Alpha Six]

you guys are fucking nerds.


some people have all the luck in the world

[triptych]

you guys are fucking nerds.


some people have all the luck in the world

im just gonna


go ahead and quote this

[Rökkan]

oh
that was amazing
but I missed the line "A true gentleman never leaves any breast untouched" >:
still
I loved it