Hello everyone. As of today (Fri. September 28th, 2012) I've decided to do something I should have done long ago with this project: Add character bios. To keep things fresh I'm going to add bios for all the characters so everyone can all follow along with the events of the GAME story. I'll try to write them in 1st POV from the character's perspective to give a better sense of what is going on. I'd like to try and insert these after every chapter; as kind of an update kind of thing. When the GAME story is completely done I will re-post each bio completed, along with the stories aftermath to nicely recap and finish out all of the events. I want to try to do this in the style of Sonic Adventure Battle 2, but I'm not that talented so please be patient with me. That said please scroll down after each chapter to read the bios. Enjoy!

Hello everyone. Today I'm pleased to share with you all my Super Smash Bros. GAME Story. Please enjoy!


Our GAME story opens with the intoduction from paper Mario on the N64. Parry Karry( http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...1617)drops a pink letter off in the mail box in front of Mario’s house.(http://www.spritersresource.com/other_sy...heet/11745) Luigi (http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...et/7542)is on top of a block whistling. He jumps down to retrieve the mail. Luigi reads the letter.

Luigi: “Yay Hay“!

Luigi walks into the house, walks over to Mario; (http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...t/7545)and shows him the letter.

Luigi:...
Mario:...
Luigi: “Okay”


Luigi reads the letter’s message:

Dear Mario,
You are cordially invited to my castle this afternoon for my Birthday party. Toad( http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...t/7562)and Yoshi(http://www.spriters-resource.com/snes/yo...sheet/4808) are helping with the decorating and I’m baking a cake. Our chef Tayce T( http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s.../12720)has provided some new delicious dishes for the party that she would like for you to try. As for the entertainment Toadette(http://www.spriters-resource.com/custom_...heet/17924) has convinced the famous singer Pop Diva; from Club 64, to make a very special musical appearance with her band! Toadsworth(http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/mari...heet/46893)… Well… Toadsworth is doing what he dose best: worrying. It seems every time we try to throw a party that nasty Koopa, Bowser( http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/mari...heet/19548), shows up and makes a mess of everything. I’m not going to let him ruin our fun this time. Toadsworth has seen to it that our guards(http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s.../11702)are standing watch at all times and you will be here. I know you’ll keep us safe Mario. Well I better get ready. This party is going to be a blast! See you there!
Princess Peach Toadstool (http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/supe...heet/20692)

Both Bros. : “ Oh Yeah!“

They start enthusiastically jumping up and down. They leave their house and enter a pipe. ( http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...sheet/1464) The bros. enter the castle grounds. (http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy.../sheet/898) They enter the castle(http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...heet/15631) and talk to some party guests.

Toad: (http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...heet/12723)“ Hooray! Another party at the castle. I’m sooooooooooo excited!

Toad 2 : (http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...heet/12742) Hey I heard a celebrity musician is here today. I wonder who it is.

Toad 3: (http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...12745)Have you ever heard of Pop Diva from Club 64? Her music is very popular in my home of Fungi Town.

Toad 4: (http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...12741)Have you ever been to the Bean Bean Kingdom?(http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...sheet/7567) If you should ever travel there be sure to come visit us in Fungi Town.

The bros. go to front door of castle, but are stopped by two Toad guards.

Guard 1: (http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...heet/12734) Hold it right there!

Mario: (surprised) ooh! (jumps backwards.)

Luigi: wah! (falls over.)

Guard 2: ( http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...t/12732)We don’t want to alarm you, but we’ve been instructed to not let anyone in who’s not on the Princess’ guest list.

Mario:...

Guard 1: Yes, you do look like the Mario Bros., but how can we be certain?

Luigi:...

Guard 2: You could be a Duplighost in disguise.

Mario: (shakes his head no and responds) uh uh.

Guard 1: Well… we still need proof that you are who you say you are. We’re under strict orders.

Mario:“hmm“? (Mario speaks to the guard.)

Luigi: “ Oh No!”

Mario: (facing Luigi now.) Luigi

Luigi: *groans*

Mario: Luigi

Luigi: *groans*

Mario: Luigi!

Luigi shakes his head. Mario falls over.

Guard 1: I assume you don’t have your invitations? (Bros. Shake their heads) Well… You do have honest faces. If only there were another way for you to prove yourselves.

The Mario bros. jump in the air...

Guard 2: Of course! Those jumps! None of Bowser’s cronies could pull of such a remarkable feat.

Both Toad Guards: Welcome Super Mario Bros. !


Guard 1: Oh but you’ll still need proof for the rest of the Toad Guards. Head into the next room and speak with the photographer. He may be able to make you some I.D.'s to get past the rest of the Princess’ Security. Good luck.

The bros. get their IDs made up. Now they head up stairs to where two more toad guards are waiting.

Toad Guard: None shall pass! (http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...733)(Mario Bros. Show their new IDs.) Well… everything seems to be in order. You shall pass!

After that door, the bros. come to another...

Toad Guard: I move for no one…(http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...735)(Mario Bros. Show their new IDs.) Except the Super Mario Bros. of course!

Finally the bros. meet up with Toadsworth and Princess Peach.

Peach: (Excitedly) Mario!

Toadsworth: Master Mario. Master… er… Green! I’m glad you have arrived. We can now all put our worries to rest.

Peach: (Sighs) Toadsworth, you always worry too much.

Toadsworth: And with good reason your highness. You can never be too cautious. Besides my nose for trouble has been quite alert today. I feel as though that pesky Koopa could come here at any moment and… Ahh! Merciful Mushrooms!!! What’s that?!

Luigi: ?

The Bros. See a silhouette of Bowser and both yell. Luigi cringes in fear while Mario puts up his dukes ready to fight.

Peach: Everyone. Relax. It’s just a lamp.

The Bros. Look onward to see a fancy looking lamp with candle holders. Mario begins laughing. Toadsworth begins to faint. Luigi realizing Toadsworth is fainting clumsily runs over to his rescue and catches him right before he falls. Luigi sighs a heavy sigh of relief.

Toadsworth: (coming to) That’s the third monticule this week. I simply must stop being so shocked.

Peach:(now giggling with Mario). Come on gang. Let’s get this party started!

Scene fades to black.

Mario: It's-a me Mario(http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/mari...827).Today I was in the house( http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...745)cookin' up-a the spaghetti when-a Luigi comes in the house with a letter.(http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...heet/10579) As it turns out it was from-a Princess Peach( http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/mari.../19549)who was throwing a party for her Birthday celebration. Yahoo! Me-a and Luigi left right away heading down Mushroom Way(http://www.spriters-resource.com/snes/sm...heet/48752), past Toad Town, and finally into Peach's Castle(http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...heet/15631) located in the Mushroom-a Kingdom(.http://www.spriters-resource.com/snes/smariorpg/sheet/48747) After chatting with the locals(http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/mari...1492)Luigi and I starting making our way further into the castle. It wasn't a-long however before we stopped by some Toad Guards(http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...heet/11702). They-a thought we were Duplighosts(http://www.spriters-resource.com/other_s...sheet/7874) in disguise. Unfortunately my-a Bro Luigi had lost our invitations and despite our best efforts there was no convincing them. When we finally did manage to get them to-a understand they insisted we get photo I.D. (http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...sheet/7581) to-a prove we were who-a we said we were and not get-a harassed no more. Now we were on our way to see-a the Princess. At first we did not see her highness. Toadsworth would be the first to welcome us into the main throne room. Than, over in the corner I noticed the Princess. She was as-a radiant as ever with her cheery smile and elegant gown.Oh such a beautiful girl...(http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/supe...58)b]*ahem.[/b] So uh... Anyways We greet-a the Princess and an overjoyed Toadsworth. He was relieved that me and-a Luigi were there... just in case Koopa started his-a shenanigans. Suddenly there was a fierce-some shadow of-a Bowser(http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...sheet/7450)
Looming over a Toad's head. I couldn't believe it! That'a Koopa had shown up to-a spoil the Princess' Birthday. Not-a this time. This-a time I'd-a be ready. This time Bowser wouldn't just abduct Peach in that silly flying-a gizmo of his(http://www.spriters-resource.com/gameboy...sheet/7571)
After trying to convince-a my scardey cat bro to be-a brave I decided to take action! Uh... We found out later it was only the shadow of a lamp. Heh. heh. Funny story. Little embarrassing...

Luigi: Hey! Hey! I'm-a Luigi. ( http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/mari...heet/44767) Number 1! er... 2. Today started out so exciting for me and Mario. It started off like any other day. Mario was in the house cookin' up-a the spaghetti. I was perched high on top of a ? block enjoying a nice view of the horizon, when suddenly something-a caught my eye. Flying overhead was our old pal Parry Karry. He delivered to me a note from the Princess. After a moment of catching up I bid my old friend good bye and headed in to tell Mario the good news. It seemed the Princess was throwing a party for her birth day and Mario and I were the guests of honor. Lucky! Mario was-a very happy to hear from the Princess. What a shock, right? So anyway Mario and I made our way to the Mushroom Kingdom. Along the way a Goomba had ran by me and stole Mario and I's invitations. I didn't bother going after the little bugger though. He knows who's boss. Uh... my brother. He'd show'em. I decided not to tell Mario though. Why make him fight before such a fun occasion? What you think I couldn't handle a little Goomba on my own? You think I'm-a scared? I'm-a LUIGI! I'm not scared. Well... okay so there was this embarrassing moment involving a shadow of a lamp once... you know what? Never mind, not important. So we make our way to the castle and meet some guests. My bro mingled with just about everybody. Me? Well... I just kind-a stuck by Mario's side and let him handle all the socializing. I am-a shy after all. Well we were stopped by two scary guards who wanted proof of who we were. Okay so maybe they were Toad guards, but have you ever seen them in their guard outfits and armed? It's-a frightening. I prefer to talk to regular Toads. They always show me the best hiding spots for when there's trouble. What? My bro will handle everything. Leave me alone already. Um... ah. So the guards ask us for our invitations as proof we were invited to the castle. Okay so maybe I didn't tell my brother right away what happened to our invitations. I still let him know and after he recovered from a momentary faint he came up with an alternative plan to prove to the guards who we were. After my bro convinced them we were sent to get photo I.D.s. I don't like-a my picture taken. I had to be coerced. It was the only way to see the Princess though. And it was her birthday. So I did what was required. We entered the main throne room where we saw Toadsworth and than-a the princess. Toadsworth was happy to see us; though he still can't remember my name, and we ate some yummy cake and drank tea.( http://www.spriters-resource.com/ds/mari...et/28039)I didn't overeat the cake though this time. I learned my lesson from me-a and my bro's last adventure. I ate so much I became as big as a house. I got a figure to keep you know. They don't call me the "Lean Green Fighting Machine" for nothing you know. Okay so they don't call me that. I wish they did. *Sigh* Maybe one day... so that's it. Nothing more. Yup nothing else exciting happened. Oh... You mean Mario told you about that story with the lamp huh? Well... Okay so maybe I-a fainted. Maybe I was-a scared a bit. But if you've ever seen how fearsome Bowser is in person you'd-a been-a nervous too, I tell ya. Hey did I ever tell you about the time I defeated Bowser with a vacuum cleaner? True story too...

what the fuck is this supposed to be



I mean, I've read quite shitty stuff here in tSR, but this takes the prize, really. What is this? Is this a story? Is this a game idea script? I have no fucking idea. In fact, the story is so littered with in-game scripts that completely kills the flow of the story (if it even has one).

Okay, I just read through all this text. There is simply nothing interesting in the story at all, period. Either make a conventional narrative story, or keep those scripts to yourself. No one on tSR wants to read boring stuff.

Needs more Giygas.

Hello everyone. Today I would like to share with you all chapter 1 of the Super Smash Bros. Story. Thank you to all who viewed yesterday's content. Also I'd like to thank the who replied. Though critical, you were honest. That's what I want. One thing I will address to some of you; whom clearly had some confusion issues, this is an original script written as a video game script. The things mentioned in parenthesis are not important to the overall story. They are merely a guide for someone making a video game or even a flash movie of my work. I appoligise for not removing those types of details. However if someome is interested in how gaming scripts work they should read all the details of my work to get the most out of it. For anyone else just relaxe and enjoy the story. I know it might not seem like much now, as I've only introduced the introduction, but when it kicks off I feel it should be a thrillling roller coaster ride indeed. Now that I've cleared up any confusion please allow your imagination to be tourguided through a reamarkable and wonderous Smash Bros. Land. Oh & Spoiler alert: There will be no gygus. Lol. Fear not, for plenty of Earth Bound Action awaits. Now without further ado...

Chapter 1: A Kingdom in Peril

Scene opens with Peach talking.

Peach: (talking to Toads) Okay everyone. See to it our guests are comfortable.(Two toad guards walk off and come back in the room with two chairs. One is red , the other green. The red chair is placed on the left while the green is on the right,. The Bros. sit.) Toadsworth, will you fetch us some tea?

Toadsworth: I’d be delighted to your highness.

Toadsworth exits.

(Mario and Luigi are eating tea and crumpets)

Luigi: (Stuffing his face.) Hmpf hee hem hor humphets ah deficious, Pwinfess. (This tea and your crumpets are delicious Princess.)

Peach: Thank you Luigi, I'm glad you're enjoying them.

Uknown to our heroes a small hand with a wrench messing with some pipes in the castle basement. Water is shown spurting out of the pipes everywhere and the basement begins to flood. A Toad goes over to the sink and turns it on. To his surprise water squirts him in the face. Now the kitchen is filling up fast with water.

Toad: The pipes! I must inform the Mario Bros.

He runs upstairs where our heroes are located...

Toad: Princess! Marios! We’ve got big trouble. The.. The pipes! Water is everywhere. We need Mario immediately.

Peach: What’s going on?

Toad:I went to the kitchen for a glass of water when suddenly the pipes in the kitchen burst. Water is everywhere! We must act fast.

Mario:Pipe problems? Probably nothing I can't-a fix.

Luigi: Let's do it bro!.

Toad: Wow do you guys really think you can fix all those pipes?

Mario: um hm.

Luigi: Oh yeah!

Toad: (Embarrassed) Oh right. You two are plumbers. I forget that sometimes. Well… Get to it! Give those pipes a good unclogging!

Mario and Luigi jump up and down. They go to head out, but are stopped by Toadsworth.

Toadsworth: Wait one of you needs to stay here with the Princess and I.

Peach: Oh Toadsworth.

Toadsworth: No arguments princess. As your Royal caretaker it’s my responsibility to see you remain unharmed. Although I am quite confident in my ability to take good care of you it doesn’t hurt to have at least one brother on the look out in case Bowser and his cronies show up. Mario Bros. I must insist that one of you remain behind to take care of the Princess.

Mario: It's best if you wait here bro.

Toadsworth: You mean you’ll fix the pipes and Green Mario will stay here?

Mario nods.

Luigi: (nods) well... Oki Doki.

Toadsworth: Very well. Mushroom’s speed Mario. I trust you shan’t be too long.

Mario arrives in the flooded basement. Horrified he exclaims:

Mario: Momma mia! (Mario quickly pulls out tools and dashes to the pipes, desperately trying to fix them)
How did this-a happen?

Suddenly a pipe appears out of no where in the middle of the floor. A curious Mario decides to investigate. Suddenly all these small mini Marios come leaping out of the pipe chaotically like the mini M&M commercials. All are shouting various Mario quotes from over the years. One different from the others appears. His eyes are glowing purple, as if in a trance. In his tiny Mario sounding voice he says:

Mini Mario: Surrender Mario or we will be forced to take action.

Mario:Who are you and why do you look-a like me?

Mini Mario: Don’t-a worry Mario. All will be answered and… GETT’EM!

The other 127 Marios’ eyes start glowing purple and they all leap on top of Mario.

Mario: Whoa! Hey! Let-a go!

He loses his footing and falls down the drain, as the leader Mario shouts:

Mini Mario: Down the Drain!

Mario falls into a pipe and vanishes as he is swarmed by all the other Marios who fall in the pipe with him.

Toad: Oh no! Mario’s been captured. I must inform the others at once.

Toad heads upstairs quickly to inform the others.

Toad: (Barging in room yelling) Princess! PRINCESSSS!!!

Peach: Yes Toad?

Toad: I.. That is… Small Marios everywhere… Giant pipe… CAPTURED!!!

Peach: Toad you have to calm down. I can’t understand you.

Toadsworth: Yes, yes tell us what is going on.

Toad: MARIO IS MISSING!!! (Everyone gasps in shock.) Your highness Mario was attacked by… well... little tiny Marios who captured him.

Toadsworth: Come now dear boy. Get yourself together you aren’t making the slightest bit of sense.

Toad: It’s true. Look I found this.

He hands Peach a letter. It is green in appearance.

Peach: Oh. This is addressed to…

Toadsworth: (snatching the letter from Peach) Here Master Green. Read this at once. It is the utmost of importance.

Luigi: Let me see it, maybe Mario's just ordering us a pizza.

Bowser’s warning letter:

Yo Greenie!

You know the drill by now. Tell Princess Toadstool to surrender her kingdom to its rightful owner or your chump bro. Mario is toast! I eagerly await your decision. By the way if there happens to be any objections on your part, you know where I’ll be. Come Get Some!
Your favorite Koopanion,

King Morton Bowser Koopa SR. -The Super Cool King Of Koopas And Soon To Be King Of The Mushroom… Kammy, are you getting all of this? Ok, cool. Where was I? Oh Right… King Of The Mushroom Kingdom and not The King Of Guys Who Talk to Posters! That Was Just A Rumor And A Lie! And…Yeah just surrender The Mushroom Kingdom, OK? That’s All!



Luigi: Wahh! (He throws the letter in the air.) Oh no! (He’s trembling)

Peach: What does it say? (Luigi quickly scoops the letter up.) Can I see it?

Luigi shakes his head no. Peach walks towards Luigi. He shakes head no.

Peach: Luigi.

Luigi:err... uh... umm... its-a nothing.


Peach: Luigi...

Luigi: shakes his head no

Peach: Luigi! (He falls over face first.)

Toadsworth: Oh my!

The letter flies upward and peach snatches it.

Peach: Gott’cha. (She reads the letter) Oh no! Mario is in trouble! Why didn't you tell me?

Luigi : I didn't want to upset you Princess...

Peach: Aww. You’re so sweet. (in a determined voice) Okay down to business. We gotta rescue Mario. (She pauses.) I'm coming with you!

Luigi: No, Princess! It's too dangerous!

Toadsworth: Your highness I can‘t allow that.

Toad: They are right Princess. You don’t know what dangers lye in wait out there. You could get hurt. Besides who better to save Mario than his little Bro.?

Peach:This is a dangerous mission that requires team work if we’re to save Mario.

Toadsworth: Princess please listen to reasoning.. Master Luigi is our only hope. What you are asking to do is far too dangerous for a Princess.

Peach: I don’t care. It was always dangerous for Mario too, but he braved the dangers and came to my rescue. (She pauses, than says sweetly) Please? I’m capable of handling myself on an adventure. Why I even saved you and Mario once. Tee hee.

Luigi: (Thinking for a moment.) Ok... you can come, but stay close behind.

Toadsworth: No.

Peach: What?

Toadsworth: I’m sorry your highness, but your safety comes first. You must remain here.

Peach: But Toadsworth…

Luigi: I could use her help.

Toadsworth: Absolutely not.

Luigi: She knows the layout of Bowser's castle better than any of us.

Toadsworth: Preposterous!

Luigi: I'll contact the Yoshis.

Toadsworth: Positively… wait. Them? They are her highness’ most trusted friends. If they were to help I’m sure the Princess would be safe and…

Peach: So I can go?

Toadsworth: Well… I know I’m going to regret this decision. The chancellor shan’t like this one bit. On the other hand in order to save our beloved kingdom I suppose…

Peach: Oh thank you, thank you!

Peach bolts right past Toadsworth towards the door causing Toadsworth to spin around and get all dizzy. Yoshi enters the room.

Yoshi: Yoshi.

Luigi: Yoshi, you have to protect the Princess at all costs. Can you handle that?

Yoshi: Yoshi, Yoshi.

Toad: That’s a great idea. With Yoshi helping you out green dude the Princess will be just fine.

Toadsworth is now getting up and recovering.

Toadsworth: Yoshi, you have a big responsibility. I'm trusting you to help Luigi bring the Princess back safely.

Yoshi: Yoshi!

A panic-stricken Toad runs into the room.

Toad: Help! May Day! Police! Sound the alarms! Do not pass go! Evacuate immediately! Trouble is…( Runs and crashes directly into a wall.) …a foot. oof.

He knocks himself out.

Peach: What on earth is going on now?

A Toad Guard enters the room.

Toad Guard: Princess! Our kingdom is under attack. Look out the window.

Everyone rushes over to the window. Koopa Troopas and Goombas are patrolling the land.Toads are running around frantically in all different directions. Explosions are everywhere and there are some mini fires. Kremlings are seen patrolling the land. UFO’s from Earth Bound are flying in the sky blasting parts of the ground with rays. A Yoshi hoard is seen racing toward the enemies eating foes who get in their way. . Suddenly a very large shadow is seen hovering over the area. Toads are screaming as blast of energy is shot at one of the Toads, who just barely gets out of the way. A large whole is burned into the ground. A loud shriek is heard and than the shadow is identified to be Ridley; who swoops down and snatches up the helpless Toad. a horrified Peach simply utters:

Peach: My kingdom... her hands pressed firmly against the window.

She looks as though she could cry. Ridley flys around shooting beams everywhere and destroying everything in his path. Octorocs pelt Toads with rocks and they retreat. Some Yoshis are retreating, others are fiercely battling.Toad Guards are laying around knocked out everywhere. It’s not looking good for the Mushroom Kingdom as aerial enemies are attacking the ground as well. Bowser, in his Koopa Clown Copter, is seen laughing. He than flies into a subspace portal and disappears. Than all the enemies start to scatter and all leave through subspace portals. The Mushroom Kingdom is shown in ruins. All different parts of it are shown destroyed. Toads and Yoshis lay everywhere. Peach starts crying. Luigi looks frightened, but seeing his friend upset trys to comfort her by giving her a hug. She stops crying. Luigi now looks onward.


Luigi: Momma mia! There's so many of 'em!

Peach: Luigi, Yoshi. You two are so loyal and brave, but… I don’t know if… we can… save my kingdom this time.

Toad: Don’t talk like that Princess.

Toadsworth: He’s right you must believe in yourself. We believe in you your highness.

Peach: Thank you. I… I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to…

A Toad guard enters the room.

Toad Guard: Princess. I have a letter here from Professor Elvin Gadd. He requests Luigi’s presence immediately. He says it’s urgent.

Toadsworth: This sounds quite serious. You all better head to his home right away.


Scene fades to black.

Mario: After our... er... "minor misunderstanding" Me-a and Luigi ate-a cake and drank-a tea with the Princess. We were having a total-a blast when a Toad came into the room to inform us that-a somehow the basement had become flooded. Realizing a potential disaster I agreed to fix-a the pipes, being a plumber and all. Luigi had agreed to stay behind and look out for any signs of trouble. I-a grabbed my nearest-a tool set and made my way to the basement. " Holy Ravioli!" is all I could think when I first saw the flooded basement. The Princess never had a problem this bad! Still I was-a determined to fix all the plumbing before the guest would notice. As I diligently worked A pipe had appeared from seemingly out of no where. As went over to investigate I was attacked by small little creatures who had pulled me down the pipe with them. Before I could react I was in an unfamiliar location. There I encountered the Koopa King and my long time nemesis Bowser. We did battle and I had-a emerged victorious like so many times before. But my victory was-a short-lived as I was attacked by an unknown menacing-a looking man and a strange creature with-a glowing yellow eyes. Than-a giant white glove appeared and I was imprisoned in tube-like holding cell. "Oh no." I had thought. How would I protect-a the Princess now? How would they know where I was? This time it was-a me who needed the rescuing. But I had to get a hold of myself. All hope was not lost. Luigi would protect the kingdom in my stead. I would get out of this. I can handle myself. After all. I'm-a SUPER MARIO!!! Hold-a on guys. I'm-a gonna get outta here! And when I do... It's-a Mario's time to shine. Bowser you haven't won yet! SUPER MARIO get you next time!!!

(05-29-2012, 12:01 PM)Arisa Wrote: what the fuck is this supposed to be



I mean, I've read quite shitty stuff here in tSR, but this takes the prize, really. What is this? Is this a story? Is this a game idea script? I have no fucking idea. In fact, the story is so littered with in-game scripts that completely kills the flow of the story (if it even has one).

Okay, I just read through all this text. There is simply nothing interesting in the story at all, period. Either make a conventional narrative story, or keep those scripts to yourself. No one on tSR wants to read boring stuff.

I under stand your confusion, so please read today's chapter 1: The adventure begins post to clarify anything you may not comprehend. Thank you by the way for your constructive criticism. Any publicity is better than none, so do continue to read and comment on my future works. I look foward to it.

---

(05-29-2012, 12:11 PM)TomGuycott Wrote: Needs more Giygas.

Thank you for your response. Be sure to check out today's post: Chapter 1: The adventure begins. I can tell you now Giygas will not be in this particualr story ( Maybe future works) but there will be plenty of Earth Bound action! When you ask? You'll just have to keep reading to find that out

I am glad that you didn't flip out at my c+c, but sadly after all this wall of boring text, I can't be arsed to try reading anymore of those.

please either make it a narrative story, or don't bother with it.

You don't need to make a new thread for every chapter, you could collect them in a single one (linking the chapter posts in the first post).

Your "Game Script" "style" still kills the flow of the story and everything is hard to read. You should orient yourself on theater scripts (not the actual stage scripts wich may be loaded with commentary and instructions, but those which were published as books etc): You don't need the detail of an actual "game script" to give your story the feel of one. Keep the annotations and instructions to a minimum.

Besides game scripts hardly work like this. There are gameplay and game mechanics and there are dialogs. Those elements are made with each other in mind, but they're not put together in one "game script", a game is not a theater play. Besides, annotations should be short (not "The player once again is shown arrows indicating that they should look down", but a more generic "pointers: touchscreen" or something, special keywords that have been decided on beforehand).

Another tip for general formatting: Use font faces. Italic text for your annotations. Bold text for the name of the speaking character. Normal text for spoken text. (This is an example, you can choose different usages or even (decent) color formatting)
Also, make clear sage change indicators, divide different scenes with more space in between or seperating lines (the HR-Tag could be useful: [ HR ] without spaces)
I might even suggest manual linebreaks to make the lines less looooong and to pack the text visually. Nice looking text is usually easier to read, long single lines should be avoided (check newspapers, they use columns for a reason).

I've merged both threads.


still not going to read any of this, see reason why .o/

I tried, I honestly tried reading this and it's awful. I'm sorry, and to be honest calling it awful is a bit of an understatement. Are you writing a play, a game script or narrative? I don't think you understand writing in the slightest.

(06-03-2012, 10:25 AM)The Pope of Dope Wrote: I tried, I honestly tried reading this and it's awful. I'm sorry, and to be honest calling it awful is a bit of an understatement. Are you writing a play, a game script or narrative? I don't think you understand writing in the slightest.

Thank you for your honest opinions. Today I'm going to edit this whole story so it's easier to understand. I'll present it as a drama script. Hopefully it will make more sense as a game or flash movie one day, but I'm far from that goal. Everyone please enjoy the edited version today and look forward to Chapter 2 in the next couple of days. Thank you.

In my Smash Bros fan fiction the Masked Boy shows up and kills everybody.

Hello everyone. As promised here is Chapter 2 of today's portion of the Super Smash Bros. story!!!

Chapter 2:The Eerie Woods

Our heroes now exit’s the castle and the castle grounds. They travel a few short miles until they reach Luigi’s Mansion. A boo now flies over to our heroes and laughs. Our heroes get spooked. The boo disappears. Luigi is shivering. Peach and Yoshi run ahead.

Luigi: Wah! (He runs to catch up.)

Our heroes make their way inside the massive mansion and are greeted by a toad.

Toad: Princess. Yoshi. Uh… you! I’m glad you’re all here. Professor E. Gadd has been expecting you. Head to his lab at once.

The heroes enter the lab and encounter E. Gadd...

E. Gadd: Luigi! Good to see you again my green lad. I believe you are the only one to stop our current crisis. Let me start from the beginning. I was in my lab trying to work out the bugs in my time machine; determined not to have another Shroob incident like last time. After months of calculating and experiments I was ready for a little test run. I giggled with glee; once again feeling the anticipation to start up my new and improved machine. Shivers ran up and down my spine as I eagerly pressed the button. Suddenly an alarm sounded. I was blinded by a flash of bright light and fell to the ground from the shock. Something had gone wrong. When I recovered I stood up and noticed something strange. There in front of me lay a portal. A portal to another world, or perhaps even another universe. As I peered through this mysterious portal I witnessed a number of strange things. There was a knight of some sort, donned in green. He was battling alongside a beautiful woman against a menacing sort of fellow with crimson-like hair and a wicked grin. Than the scene changed. I now saw before me a most peculiar-looking elastic pink blob creature. He was wearing red shoes and was sucking his foes into his mouth with speed greater than that of the poltergeist 3000. The really interesting thing to note however was the fact that he transformed in appearance to look like the enemy he had previously inhaled. Not only did he look like his defeated enemy, but he could now mimic their abilities and powers as well. There were many other sites to behold as well. *pauses* Luigi, I’m sure you and your brother have encountered some many strange foes through your adventures in the Mushroom Kingdom, but I must say I have never witnessed creatures quite like this. You must keep your guard up, I don’t know if these characters are a friendly bunch or not. They could be unlike anything you or your brother have ever faced. I have a theory though. If I’m correct than we will have to find some way to communicate with these strange beings in order to stop the current threat of evil that plagues are beloved kingdom. The creatures you encountered earlier may have come from this portal or maybe any other number of portals that are now scattered throughout the land.

Luigi: ...

E. Gadd: I’m afraid that’s correct Luigi. A number of portals formed from this portal due to its instability. I believe there may have been a split in our dimensional fabric that caused the existence of all the other portals ; thus allowing other creatures from other worlds to travel into our world and invade this kingdom. So if evil beings did come from those portals than surely there must be heroes from those portals as well who will know how to vanquish these foes. Somehow all these portals and worlds, maybe even universes are connected. Luigi I don’t know if what I witnessed was a look into the past or future, but one thing is certain. If you are to be victorious and save the Mushroom Kingdom you’ll have to travel to these unknown worlds and universes to search for brave heroes who can aid you in your quest. Luigi you must rely on the aid of others, as well as believe in your own abilities if you are to be successful. Team work is the key. The fate of the Mushroom Kingdom, nay the fate of all these worlds is in your hands.

Luigi: Oh yeah!

E. Gadd: Well I’ve prattled on long enough. Go out and assemble your team. I will remain here and closely monitor the portal.

Luigi: ?

E. Gadd: You see Luigi this portal is the key to stabilizing the other portals. As long as this portal stays open the others should as well. There is no way of predicting how long this portal will last however and the stability of the other portals is questionable. Luigi You’ll have to be swift. Do not dilly-dally. Grab your hero and get out quickly, or you may not be able to return. There is a slight chance you could end up stuck in one of these other worlds forever. Time is of the essence.

Peach: Okay guys you heard the professor. Shake a leg!

E. Gadd: Wait! You are going too? Princess this mission is highly dangerous and…

Peach: I know, I know. You sound like Toadsworth. Don’t worry Professor my friends will protect me.

E. Gadd: Well, okay than but do be careful. If you were to become trapped in one of these other world’s the entire kingdom would grieve.

Peach: I’ll be okay. Come on Yoshi let’s go to that world. Maybe we can find that knight the professor was talking about.

Yoshi: Yoshi.

They enter the portal. Luigi dose not.

E. Gadd: What’s wrong Luigi? Aren’t you joining them?

Luigi: (Shaking his head no) speaks.

E. Gadd: I see. You plan on splitting up to find heroes faster, is that it? Brilliant my boy. Tell me whom are you asking for help?

Luigi: ...

E. Gadd: Him? Are you serious? I’ve heard he’s caused you and your brother much trouble in the past.

Luigi: ...

E. Gadd: You say you can convince him? Your brother’s formed a truce? Well good luck than. Let me see if I can make a few minor adjustments to this machine than the portal should… ah ha! I’ve got it. I’ve found his coordinates. Hurry Luigi there’s not much time. Enter the portal and go get him.

Luigi: Oki doki.

He enters the portal. Scene ends.

Well that's it for today ladies and gents. Chapter 3 will be coming at you shortly! One thing I do want to mention chapter 3 will be done in two parts: A part A and a part B. This is because they are two different events happening at the same time. In part A we learn the mysterious individual Luigi was refering to. The question is will they help Luigi knowing their rival Mario is involved? Will the truce truely last? Than in part B the Princess and Yoshi go on a quest to track down a knight Professor Elvin Gadd spoke of. Who is it Will they help the Mushroom Kingdom's cause? Find out in the next thrilling 2 part chapter 3!!!!!

How is this a game script, in any way, shape, or form? Do you understand how games and games design works? I see no mention of any gameplay mechanics, features, or even gameplay segments. There doesn't seem to be a gap for these to be sporadic cutscenes within a game either.

If you want to make a game, then make a game, if you want to write a story, then write a story.

Don't write a script for a play and try to pass it off as a game script. That simply insults our intelligence. You've been told there are major flaws with this multiple times and you just keep on going. Wouldn't be surprised if you're just copy pasting this around 20 or so boards at the same time.

this is amazing

believe me bro, i truly think you're the writer of the decade
seriously, you need to have these published

(06-07-2012, 11:51 AM)Afr0Blu3 Wrote: How is this a game script, in any way, shape, or form? Do you understand how games and games design works? I see no mention of any gameplay mechanics, features, or even gameplay segments. There doesn't seem to be a gap for these to be sporadic cutscenes within a game either.

If you want to make a game, then make a game, if you want to write a story, then write a story.

Don't write a script for a play and try to pass it off as a game script. That simply insults our intelligence. You've been told there are major flaws with this multiple times and you just keep on going. Wouldn't be surprised if you're just copy pasting this around 20 or so boards at the same time.

Okay 'Afr0Blu3' I've already stated that I'm presenting this as a DRAMA script since it confused people on these boards before. Here's the deal we'll just call this a fictional SMASH story that one day may or may not be a game. As far as including game ideas people didn't like that the 1st time I did that. Just enjoy this for what it is. I don't iontend to insult anyones intelegence, but you good sir aren't paying attention. I've fixed the flaws with it as best I could. Anyway don't look for flaws enjoy it for what it is. Pasting on 20 other boards? Not a bad idea. I might put it all over the internet, but not until I'm done here first.
So grin and bare it and get ready for chapter 3...

Chapter 3: Rumble in the Jungle (Part A)

We see Luigi fall from a portal into an ocean.

Luigi: Wahh!

After a long time of swimming Luigi ends up on DK Island. Luigi walks toward DK's house. There is a rumbling noise.

Luigi: (Stopping.) Heh?

Suddenly DK busts out of his house and lands. He beats his chest and makes angry monkey noises. He is now standing in front of eight barrels. He tosses a nearby barrel at Luigi.

Luigi: Wah!

Luigi is forced to dodge many barrel tosses and eventually he bonks DK in the head with enough jumps to stun him. DK is now rubbing his head in defeat. Just than chimp noises are heard. DK turns and sees Diddy Kong. He's pointing to DK's banana hoard. Dk, Diddy, and Luigi enter the Kong Banana hoard. DK makes a disappointed face while Diddy angrily stomps on his hat.

Luigi: speaks to DK.

DK and Diddy stare. Luigi reaches behind him to give DK bananas he found. DK and Diddy get excited. All three exit the hoard. DK and Diddy munch on the bananas Luigi gave them.

Luigi: speaks.

DK and Diddy nod their heads.

Luigi: Yay hay!


DK and Diddy begin to follow a walking Luigi, but DK stops. DK turns to Diddy and points to the banana hoard. Diddy makes angry chimp noises. DK crosses his arms. Diddy runs off and back to DK's house. He enters the house. DK turns to Luigi and bangs his fists together. They run off together.They both walk toward a portal. However the portal closes.

Luigi: eh? Oh! (He starts to panic.)

Now Luigi is crying because the portal is gone and there is no way home. DK is scratching his head. He makes his IDK taunt from the Smash bros. Series and than grabs Luigi, who stops crying.

Luigi: eh? Wah!

Dk chucks Luigi over his shoulder and dives into the ocean. Dk is now seen swimming acrossed the ocean with Luigi on his back.

The scene fades to black.


Chapter 3: A Link Between Kingdoms (Part B)

Our scene opens with Yoshi falling through a portal and landing in the middle of Hyrule. He lands flat and than stands up . Peach is seen shrieking and falling from the portal.

Yoshi: Whoa!

Yoshi hurries to catch the Princess. She lands on his back.

Peach: Okay Yoshi. You heard the Professor. Let's get moving.

Yoshi: Yoshi.

Peach: Oh it's raining out. This better not ruin my dress. (A growl is heard.) Yoshi stay focused. I'm hungry too, but we need to find that knight to aid our kingdom first.

Yoshi: Yoshi?

A loud shriek is now heard and a hand is on Peach's shoulder.

Peach: Yoshi? She turns to see a Redead. Peach screams eeek! Help!

She jumps off Yoshi and gets behind him. Yoshi makes a fierce face and yells

Yoshi: Yoshi!

A battle is about to begin between a hoard of Redeads and Yoshi. Though he fought tanaciously Yoshi was felled in battle.

Yoshi: OEOWOWOWOWOW!


He faints. Peach is now terrified.This looks like the end, but not too far away is Young Link heading into the Temple of time. He walks over to the master sword and pulls it from the pedistool of time. A blinding flash of blue light envelopes him and Adult Link is now standing there with the master sword. After exiting the Temple of Time Link pulls out his Ocarina and plays Epona's song. Link jumps on Epona and rides off in search of the fierce battle and screams of a young woman he heard in peril. Yoshi is still down. Peach is surrounded and terrified.

Peach: Yoshi. Yoshi... please. You have to get up. You have to fight. (sob)

Suddenly we hear Link's famous battle cry and see him leap off of Epona, landing next to Peach, slashing a Redead in half, but scaring her in the process. Peach steps back as Link dose his famous spin, his sword aflame with intense magic, and cut down the remaining redeads. More are coming. Link uses his arrows to keep them at bay. More head toward Yoshi and our heroes are surrounded... Thinking quickly Link plays the sun song on his ocarina freezes the redeads. Link than pulls out his hook shot out and fires at a nearby tree. He grabs Peach in his arm. Yoshi now has recovered and grabs Peach's leg not knowing if Link is friend or foe and is still trying to do his duty of protecting the Princess. The three fly into the air and land on the back of Epona who gallops off in the direction of Hyrule castle. Link, Peach, and Yoshi enter Hyrule castle where they meet the King and Princess Zelda. After some time elapses Peach shares her story with the King and Princess Zelda...

King: … So that's when Link brought you here.

Zelda: Good thing too. Those Redeads are quite dangerous. Are you alright stranger?

Peach: We're fine. (She turns to Link) Thank you for your help… uh…

Navi: Hey. Listen. He's Link.

Peach: Thank you Link. Wait Link… If you're Link than… I must be in…

Zelda: The kingdom of Hyrule. Welcome.

Peach: Hyrule? Than you are Princess Zelda. Oh this is fantastic. The Professor sent me to request the help of you two? Oh, did you hear that Yoshi? The Mushroom Kingdom is as good as saved!

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Zelda: Mushroom Kingdom? Oh sweetie you must be confused. Link, did this young girl take a bump to the head when you rescued her?

Peach: Honest it's true. I'm Princess Peach Toadstool.

Zelda: The Princess Peach Toadstool? That can't be. I've heard many tales of that far away kingdom and I know it has one of the mightiest heroes of all time protecting it. None other than the famous Super Mario. Oh... and his brother as well. What was his name again?

Peach: Oh you mean Luigi?

Zelda: Right Luigi. With the two famous twin brothers protecting the Mushroom Kingdom why would the Princess ever need to travel such a long distance to request Hyrule's aid?

King: You think she's a spy than Princess?

Zelda: I'm not sure. But her story doesn't add up.

Yoshi: ( Angry) Yoshi!

Peach: Hey, I'm no spy and I AM Princess Toadstool. Please let me explain. The fate of the Mushroom Kingdom isn't the only matter to be concerned with. The fate of many worlds; including this one are at stake.

Zelda: This world? You mean all of Hyrule?

King: Nonsense. Hyrule is in no peril. Even if it were Link would stop the opposing threat; just like his ancestors before him. Our guards are the best fighters throughout the land. Hyrule has its chosen champion; just like the Mushroom Kingdom has its hero, Super Mario.

Peach: (breaks into tears) No… I'm afraid we had Mario. He was kidnapped and we don't know where to find him. That's why I've come all this way. Zelda… from one Princess to another I humbly request your aid. (Peach drops to her knees her head held down. Still sobbing softly.)

Zelda: Your Majesty we must at least hear this girl's tale from the beginning.

King: What? The Super Mario being kidnapped? The Mushroom Kingdom falling into ruin? Rubbish!

Zelda: Your Majesty I implore you to hear her out. I belive she speaks the truth. This must be Princess Toadstool. If I'm wrong we'll have her treated for any wounds and I'll provide a safe heaven for her in the village. But if I'm right… sigh…If I'm right I want to know what she knows about a possible attack on Hyrule. This sounds most urgent . Princess Toadstool. Rise and tell me your tale. You have my attention.

Peach: Oh thank you Princess Zelda. You are most gracious. Well…I guess I should tell you what I know…

After a breif explanation...

Zelda: This is most troubling indeed. I've made my decision. Link are you well equipped for a long travel?

Navi: Hey…Listen…Link's always prepared. He's ready for anything.

Zelda: Good. Link, you, Navi, and myself are leaving at once for the Mushroom Kingdom. Link nods.

King: Princess I ask you to reconsider. We still don't know if we can trust this girl or if this is all a trap set up by our enemies. Suppose our enemies want you and Link to leave Hyrule so they can conquer it with you two out of the picture.

Zelda: First of all this girl is the Princess Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom. I'm sure of it. Her word is good enough for me. As far as Hyrule is concerned you said so yourself that we have the best guards and warriors throughout the land. They will keep Hyrule safe until our return.

King: Princess be reasonable. Our armies are most powerful indeed, but we are no match for the strength of Gannon and his armies of darkness.

Zelda: Gannon has been dealt with. Link and I have made sure of that.

King: Still what if he returns like he has so many times before and you and Link are not here to stop him? I must deny your request. The fate of Hyrule rests in the hands of yourself and Link. Not outsiders.

Zelda: You're right. The fate of Hyrule rests in Link's and my hands. Which is why I'm leaving with Princess Peach in a preemptive strike against the forces of evil. If I'm correct I'll be saving Hyrule from peril once and for all. Gannon may be defeated, but there are other evil forces at work. I'll stop them all. I'll see the day when Gannon is stopped for good and Hyrule knows peace and prosparity for the remainder of her days. That is my fondest wish and my destiny as a Princess to fulfill. Peach wants the same thing. For her kingdom. No more threats from Bowser and safety and prosparity for all her people. The threat of evil stops now. Hyrule and the Mushroom Kingdom shall unite forces and we will vanquish evil once and for all."


Our heroes exit the castel and head towards a portal. Our heroes return to Professor E. Gadd's Lab.


E. Gadd: My back so soon?

Peach: You told us to be remember Professor?

E. Gadd: Yes… hm well… uh… where's Lui… FLASH! Luigi! You're soaking wet. What happened? Luigi speaks.You say the portal just closed up. Hm. This is troubling. Most troubling indeed. In any event It's good to see you're all here unharmed. DK speaks. Uh… yes it's good to see you too. DK one arm hugs the professor. The Profesors face is blue. Ugh… good indeed. Care for this? He hands DK a bananna. DK is now happily jumping up and down. Yes it's so nice of you to join our cause. Princess. I see you have brought back your heroes as well.

Peach: Yes Professor. This is Princess Zelda of Hyrule.

Zelda: Pleased to meet you Professor.

Peach: And with her is … Navi: Link, Listen, This is the scientist who requested our aid.

E. Gadd: Oh my a little talking butterfly. How interesting.

Navi: Hey I'm no butterfly. I'm Navi, Link's personal fairy assistant. He's fortunate to have me around you know. Why once he was the only boy in Kokiri village who didn't have a fairy. It really is such a sad tale. Why I rember when…

Zelda: Calm down little sprite. We need to know what's going on here.

Navi: Right. Link. Get ready to listen. Are you listening? Listen Link.

E. Gadd: Right. Let me first start off by saying Link. We owe you our gratitude for coming here. Without your heroic skills and abilities we may not surive this invasion. Enemies have not only invaded our world, but yours as well. Even now they grow in number. Soon we may not be able to stop their growth. Soon they may take over all worlds, no whole universeres, which could potentially result in…

Peach: Uhm… Excuse me Professor?

E. Gadd: Yes Princess?

Princess Peach: Link and Zelda are already aware of the growing danger. You just need to tell us how to stop it.

E. Gadd: Oh right than. Yes I suppose I did get off topic there huh?

Navi: I followed you.

E. Gadd: Thank you butt… er little sprite.

Navi: Navi

E. Gadd: Navi. Hm.. Interesting.

Peach: What is it Professor?

E. Gadd: these readings. According to my calculations the length of the portals are shortening. This is indeed a problem. We have less time to gather heroes and you all have to…

Zelda: Have to what Professor?

E. Gadd: Travel into space. Everyone gasps. Uh don't worry though fortunately I have a little something in hand to help you all out. Behold.

He presses a button on a remote control and a wall panel opens up revealing...

Zelda: Are those space suits?

E. Gadd: Sure are. Nifty huh?

Peach: But professor when did you start desiging space suits? I thought your work uinvolved the supernatural and paranormal.

E. Gadd: It does. It does. But the Mario bros. Must be ready to travel anywhere at all times and I figured sooner or later they may need to be equipped to travel through space. So I've secretly been working on designing these special space suits for the bros. And all the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Peach: All of our citizens?

E. Gadd: Well sure. It's always good to be prepared. I mean what if some day Bowser figures out a way to send all the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom into Outter space while he's on one of his missions to capture you? That could happen.

Peach: Professor. Outer Space? Even Bowser wouldn't be crazy enough to launch all of us into outer space. Besides Could you imagine Mario flying around in outer space with Yoshi trying to save me and Luigi? Boy the notions you come up with sometimes. You're so silly Professor.

E. Gadd: Well in any event I've managed to create costumes for all of you and I may have a spare for Link and his traveling companions here. Ah yes. Here we are. Everyone gear up. Everyone suits up. ( The suits are the ones from Space Land from Mario Party 2.) These specially designed suits will be able to stand the atmospheric pressure of the Planet Zebes. There you must find the one called Samus.

Peach: Samus?

We now see a flashback cutscene of Ridley destroying the Mushroom Kingdom.

Ridley: Flee. Flee in terror! I've only just begun. He blows something up. My tyranny over this land will not end until you surrender Samus to me.

Toad 1: Ah! What's a Samus?

Toad 2: I don't know. Do you?

Toad 3: No.

Ridley: Fools! Do not play dumb with me. I was informed she's hiding here. Now wherte is she? He shoots more beams.

Toads: AAAAAHHH!

Scene flashes back to now.

Peach: That creature… it demanded Samus. Where is it now?

E. Gadd: It said it had other matters to attend to, but that it would return.

Zelda: Than our mission is clear. Whoever this Samus is we need to find him and fast. Maybe we can use him to lure that creature back here and than we'll spring an ambush on it.

E. Gadd: Sounds like the best solution we've got.

Peach: I Agree we need a plan but… we can't just use Samus for our own personal gain. First we'll have to gain his trust than maybe he'll agree to fight for us.

Zelda: Agreed. The problem is we don't know what Samus looks like. Do you know Professor?

E. Gadd: I 'm not sure. That I'm afraid you'll have to discover for yourselves.