Makermatic21, I can tell you like nintendo and that would like to write about it, but the way you are writing isn't the best you could do. If you are still fairly young (17 or younger?) then you can do something people your age aren't doing and read some good literature. Then attempt to copy the style and sentence structure (it WILL be hard at first, do not be intimidated or give up, this is a good sign you are doing something outside of your comfort zone).
and of course, you aren't shakespeare right now, but you could surpass him if you are willing to put in the hard and depressing work of deliberate practice.

Your writing lacks variety in sentence structure, it's a lot of short sentences. Here is a quote who I think could better address this issue than I ever could:

“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals—sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”
I think with writing it is important to read your stuff aloud. We all get kinda caught up in our writing because we know we know and can appreciate what we were trying to say, but when you read it aloud you partially take on the role of the reader. The goal of writing, art and poetry is to convey the emotions you were feeling in making it, to the point that the reader feels those too. The best do this as succinctly as possible, less and simple is always better.

We see an object whiz by and strike Samus's ship.
Zelda: Oh what now?
Another object pelts the ship.
Peach: Eek! Look out Samus.
Andross boss battle music plays. We now see the original polygon version of Andross show up. It's spitting out polygonal squares that are now pelting Samus's ship from all directions. Her ship is in critical now.
Samus: What in the world is that thing?
Zelda: I don't know, but I think that thing means business you guys.

(this is done from the perspective of Zelda)
My heart raced and knees buckled. Something must have hit the ship, nothing else could cause such a thunderous sound. Before I could utter another word, my voice was silenced by a similar crashing thump. "Where's Samus? Is everyone okay?" I gasped, trying to collect my headache of thoughts. I looked over at Peach. She was silent, yet her sad expression said it all.
As my shoulder leaned against the thick window of the ship, a sharp glare in my periphery blinded me temporarily. The fuzz of my vision formed blips of stars and a polygonal face that shone and dominated the astral plane. Its horrid, angular mouth spat out flat cubes that rocketed toward the ship, tearing at the hull and exposing the circuitry beneath. Peach clenched her chest and shook, with sadness still in her eyes "I don't think the ship is going to make it. Which means..."

I don't think of myself as a good writer, mainly because I haven't read many great books. I wrote that purely from imagining the scene in my head, imagining what if I was on a ship being attacked? How would different people react to it? Really imagine it and try to convey the feelings and scene in your words.

The last thing I will say is read this out loud, if you don't mind somewhat adult themes (a lil gruesome) http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts/
then read yours again. Study what makes a good book good, and one day you'll be an expert writer too. I believe anyone can be great if they are smart in their approach to practice, if they practice for a long time, and if you have the luxury of being young, you have an advantage that can enable you to be great.

Des has said all that really needs to be said concerning critique, and you'd do well to heed his advice.
Honestly, If you use pleasantries to sweep his advice aside, as you've done before to others in this
thread, and continue to write in the manner you do, you'll keep receiving a generally negative response
from this forum.

Please, for your own sake, take a look at your work, and try to improve. I hope the next thing you post
is clear and well thought out. I wish you the best of luck.

also notice i said sad and sadness with peach, i need a thesaurus :<

Hello Everyone. Following some great advice from actual critics on this site (You know who you are ) and ignoring the *a$#Holes* (You know who you are ) I'm going to take all that into consideration in future original posts. No I'm not going to brush good advice away, like many of you have suggested; and no I'm not ignoring you. It's simply boils down to this: I have a specific way of telling my fanfic and another way of telling my original story. This orginal piece will follow the helpful formula my helpful critics have provided. Thank you. The fan fic however will not. I am not comprimising my views and as I've stated I intend to take it to the end. I'll admit my fanfic is in fact geared toward a younger audience, which is why many of you hate it. That's fine. I can only hope there are still Nintendo fans out there somewhere on these boards who know and can truely appreciate what I'm doing. If they are younger so be it. Here's the thing to keep in mind: This fanfic isn't meant to be some Shakesperian Master piece. It is to be as good and no better than the kind of stories you've come to expect and loive from Nintendo. Is Mario's game storys complex? Is Kirby's? How about Donkey Kong's? Than why exactly would a fanfic containing all of these elements possibly be complicated? Sure I can write better. But this was meant to appeal to all audiences. All Nintendo fans. Come on its only purpose is to explain how all these different characters, from all these vastly different worlds came together to ultimately do battle. I don't know if any of you picked up on this, but I've been creating tension between different characters throughout the story. I'll later post a list of characters who will ultimately do battle and why. Also this story is to tie in with the events from Subspace emisarry making the whole BRAWL THING truely epic. Also at least I'm trying to write a story that makes sense. BRAWL'S storyline was disappointing! Nintendo coped out. "Oh this is a parrel universe that functions like the Nintendo universe you know, but is different because everyone's a toy. NERF!!!" BORING!!!! No way was that Shakesperian and you people ate that garbage up! I think I've made my point. Relaxe, take a deep breath, think like your 10-12 again, and enjoy my epic. Thank you.

You've made the point that you have no point. Harry Potter is geared to younger children but I still love it, you're just using "younger audience" as a cop out to terrible writing. Stop that. Artemis Fowl was geared to a younger audience, but it had fantastic writing.

Man I was hoping your next post would have been a constructive one. Instead, you've decided to argue a point with us that, as far as I am aware,
has never been addressed with your writing style. Your style isn't "childish," it is "rough," and "undefined." A "younger" audiance is what your trying
to target? You do know that the minimum registration is 13, correct? Why would someone write material intended for 10-12 year olds on a forum in
which there are no 10-12 year olds?

As for "childish" writing, children's books that aren't expressly written for the learning crowd (1-5+ years) usually cater to a larger audience than just
children. Take classics like Dr. Seuss' "Green eggs and Ham," which is and always has been my favorite book (I'm 25 by the way). Decidedly a
"children's book," but i dare you to find nearly anyone who has never read it. This is because the prose in it is carefully crafted, and well balenced.
Not only that, but is written in a style that is uniquely it's own.

I guess what I'm trying to say is please, Please, PLEASE acctually listen to us and become a better writer, because your lack of technique and
unwillingness to improve is very annoying. Excuses and arguments will get you nowhere here; Either listen up, or stop posting your fiction.
Simple as that.

(07-21-2012, 01:56 PM)Makermatic21 Wrote: "Oh this is a parrel universe that functions like the Nintendo universe you know, but is different because everyone's a toy. NERF!!!"

I'll tell you why this worked.

Smash Bros is a fighting game. Its sole purpose is to have fun smashing the hell out of Nintendo characters with other Nintendo characters. The point is that Smash Bros had other aspects, apart from the story, that made it great. It had gameplay that was fun and new, and generally made for a great time. I challenge you to find me just one person who has EVER bought a Smash Bros game for the storyline.

Now, your work has taken that away. Because you have nothing but the story, your story needs to become much better than that of Smash Bros, because there's nothing else there to redeem it. Smash Bros was made as a fun party game, and had a "story" thrown in just for the sake of it. If you take away the party game aspect, you're left with a story that makes no sense and is totally pointless. This is exactly what you've done. What you need to do to make this work is to strip the concept to its bare bones and start again. Build a new story on the concept that stands alone from anything else.

You've basically done the same thing as taking a house covered in Christmas decorations, then removing the house and expecting the decorations to stay where they are. You need to take down everything and build a new display that looks just as impressive, but built with a different structure and style, which allows it to stand on its own.

not to say that with this post, you literally said a big, loud "FUCK YOU" to people who carefully read through your (wreck of a) post and took their time to politely help you.

this is it. I no longer give a shit about this thread anymore.

Chapter 7: Poke'mon Master

From Samus's Perspective:

Andross: Argg! You've defeated my greatest weapon!

( The polygon slams into the side of the ship. We see an over the shoulder view from Samus's perspective. A defeafinging noise is heard. Alarms are gouin=g off. The crashing sound and alarms all come from the the wii remote which is vibrating too. The ship is spiraling out of control.

Muffeled:

Fox: No! That ship!

Slippy: Nooooo!

(Now we see Samus's ship heading toward the energy filed. Be fore it hit's the perspective goes back to the inside of the ship from Samus's perspective.)

Samus: My ship is being puuled by an uknown force. We're heading into an unstable energy filed. It appears as though we're traveling through time. Our dstination is uknown. Everyone prepare for a landing. I'm setting coordinates for that planet up ahead now.

They land.

Peach: So what do we do now. Navi:

HEY! Perhapos we should…explore.

Peach: Hey did anyone see where Samus went?

Navi: Tee hee! Over here everyone. They all follow behind Navi.

( We now see Samus looking around. The camera suddenly shifts into 1st person mode like the Metroid Prime series. While moving Samus in this mode player will nort have enemy encounters or be able to switch party members. They can not move on the game map either until they exit scan mode. The goal here willl be to explore and learn about the map area. The player will be able to scan certain shrubs, trees, moss, and other plantlife, as well as other color coded spaces on the map. Each scan will give just a little background info. About the object. The player weill learn things about the temperature, what kind of vegetation they're examining, and various Poke'mpn. When the player sees any number of wild Poke'mon roaming through the area they will be able to scan it. The scaned info. On the Poke'mon will be stored in Samus's Bounty Log, which now functions similar to a Poke'dex. The player dose not haver to partake in the scanning process to complete the objective. At any point the player just has to hit the stop scan feature. They than will be asked if they are done scanning and would like to return to the main game. Than they simply say yes. The scanning feature is completely opitional and is only intended to make the player feel like they are playing a Metroid Prime game. If the player feels this than I've successfully succeeded. Anyway back to the story…)

The heroes come running up to Samus now.:

Luigi: (Something ctaches Luigi's eye.) Eh? ( Luigi bends over and picks up a Poke'ball. He's examining it.) Hmm…

Peach: Hey. What is that thing?

( Now we see the camea pan up above our heroes and shows a group of Kakunas peacefully resting on a tree. Camera pans doen an arial view of DK with him looking up. He's got a smile on his face and his eyes are showing banannas. His tounge hangs out and he drools. Camera now switches to a back viw of DK while he makes excited monkey noises and dashes towartd the tree. He leaps over Luigi, but the back of his feet inadvertally hit Luigi in the back. While DK excitedly scales the tree, Luigi, who was caught off guard and is now losing his balance, mistakenly tosses the Poke'ball which hit's the ground a few short feet away. A bright intense light is released and out pops a Ivysaur. ( Orignally I was going to have the ball bhit and nothing happen. Peach than states that she thinks DK broke the spherical-like object. Than of course the intense light happens scaring everyone. This joke about breaking a Poke'ball and it being a dud never made it into the finished product.)

Ivysaur: Ivysaur. Saur,saur. ( Dk, now curious, jumps out of the tree and lands. He cautiously, but curiously approaches the Ivysaur.) I-vy-saur!( The Ivysaur, feeling threatened, unleashes its vines and wraps them around DK. It lifts DK into the air and hurls him in the direction of the tree. Dk hit's the tree and falls to the ground seeing stars. He's out cold. )* ( Ivysaur is now watching our heroes closely with his vines flailing) Ivy, Ivy. Ivyasaur! ( just than a sound of squirting water is heard, followed by…) SQUIRTLE! ( Ivysaur is sprayed with a water gun attack) SAUR! ( It becomes startled and runs away.)

Poke'mon Trainer: Shoot. I was so close. It got awaty again. Squirtle return! ( A flash of red light hit's the Squirtle and it retuns inside of a Poke'ball.) Is everyone alright? Zelda: We are now, thanks to your heroics. Who are you?

Poke'mon Trainer: Who am I? Only the world's best Poke'mon Trainer. That's who!

Peach: Po-kay-mun Trainer?

Poke'mon Trainer: Yes. A Poke'mon Trainer is someone who devotes all of their time to cataching and training wild Poke'mon, like the ones you've just seen. As a Pokemon trainer it's my responsibility to care for all kinds of Pokemon. In order to become a Poke'mon Trainer one has to be at least ten years of age. I started myself on my tenth birthday! At first it was for my own safety. Than Prof. Oak asked me to help him complete his Poke'dex research and before I knew it I was hooked. I LOVE Pokemon and now I'm on a quest to become a Pokemon Master! You see Professors Oak, Elm, and Birch discovered that there are several species of rare Poke'mon out there. I intend to catch them all!

Peach: Oh. ( She looks very puzzled). What happens when you "catch them all"?

Poke'mon Trainer: I'll be a true Pokemon Master!

Peach: Oh. Than what happens?

Poke'mon Trainer: What do you mean?

Zelda: What my friend here means is once you accomplish your goal of becoming a Pokemon master by "catching them all", whatever that means; where do you go from there? What do you do with your wildlife collection once they are all in captivity?

Poke'mon Trainer: … … … uh… um… fuffu! Ahem. I guess you all are not from around here. It can get pretty dangerous here in Virdian Forrest without a Poke'mon to protect you. Tell you what. Follow me and I'll show youi the ropes. Than we'll all head back to the lab in Pallet Town, where I'm from, and I'll introduce you all to Professor Oak. Not only is he the authority on all things Poke'mon, but he was the one to give me my start. He'll help explain Pokemon's many uses a bit better. Perhaps than you'll see why I love Pokemon so much and why I have to be the best! Come on follow me. We'll be there in no time. ( Everyone follows after Pokemon trainer. Scerne fades to black abnd ends.)

Scene now opens with our heroes following Poke'mon Trainer. He stops them near a tall filed of grass:

Poke'mon Trainer: Hey, wait! That was close! A POKeMON can appear anytime in tall grass, you know? Now… Let me show you how it's done!

(Now the screen changes to a Poke'mon Battle screen and the CPU automatically cataches the Poke'mon.)

Narration: Wild PICHU appeared!POKE'MON TRAINER used POKe BALL!All right! PICHU was caught! Give name to wild Pichu? ( No is selected) Screen returns to map.

POKE'MON TRAINER: Whew... That's how you catach a wild Poke'mon. Now hurry we're almost at the lab. Player is automatically lead to Professor Oak's Lab. We're here. There's Oak up ahead. Come on. Poke'mon trasiner automatically walks ahead of the player. Now the player can follow Poke'mon Trainer right away and talk to Oak, continuing the story, or the player can mingle with the other scientists first.

Professor Oak's Lab:

Girl: PROF. OAK is the authority on POKeMON! Many POKeMON trainers hold him in high regard!Guys with glasses: I study pokemon as PROF. OAK's : Crammed full of POKeMON books!Pokeball on table: ?

Books on desk: It's encyclopedia-like, but the pages are blank!Computer: There's an e-mail message here! ... Calling all POKeMON trainers! The elite trainers of POKeMON LEAGUE are ready to take on all comers! Bring your best POKeMON and see how you rate as a trainer! POKeMON STADIUM HQ, VIRDIAN CITY: PROF. OAK, please visit us!...

Player now talks to Oak:

PROFESSOR OAK: Hello there! My name is Oak! People call me the POKeMON PROF! This world is inhabited by creatures called POKeMON! For some people, POKeMON are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself... I study POKeMON as a profession. Tell me, you in the overalls.

Luigi: eh?

PROFESSOR OAK: What is your name?Player chooses from list of names:

MR. L. GREEN MARIO LUIGI

Prof. Oak: Right! So your name is (name player chose)!

(name player chose)! Your very own POKeMON legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with POKeMON awaits! Oh. Wait. That won't do. Force of habbit. … uh…fufufu! This is embarrsing. I've been so busy here in the lab with my research that I don't have a single Poke'mon to give you.

POKE'MON TRAINER: Prof. Oak. I have an idea. ( POKE'MON TRAINER walks over to Prof. Oak.)

Prof. Oak: That's a great idea! ( Name player chose) I'm proud to present you with your very first Pokemon, Pichu! ( POKE'MON TRAINER unleashes the Pichu from the Pokeball.)

Pichu: Pichu, Pichu.

POKE'MON TRAINER: (Name player chose), this is the pokemon I caught earlier. You can have it.

Narration: ( Name player chose) recieved a PICHU! Do you want to give a nickname to Pichu?(player chooses answer): YES/NO

Prof. Oak: While on a journey If a wild POKeMON appears, a POKeMON Traners' POKeMON can fight against it. Afterward, they go on to the next town.

POKE'MON TRAINER: Here ( Name player chose) You're gonna need this if you want my Pichu. ( He holds up the Pokeball. The camera zooms in on it now as a super close up while Pokemon trainer speaks) See this ball ? It's called a POKe Ball. It can hold a POKeMON inside. You may have it! Go on, take it! It's yours! ( Luigi takes the Pokeball.) Be careful now with Pichu. Since I caught him in the wild he's not tame yet. Try to call him back to his Pokeball. ( Player now has to press a button. A bright light comes out and misses the Pichu, who easily avoided the light.

Pichu: Piii-chuuuu! (An angry Pichu now zaps Luigi. He becomes blackened and smoking.)

Pichu: Pichu, PI!

OAK: Would you look at that! It's odd, but it appears that your PICHU dislikes POKe BALLs. You should just keep it with you. That should make it happy! You can talk to it and see how it feels about you.

Pichu: (sad face)

POKE'MON TRAINER: Hmm… it looks like Pichu is having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to you. Maybe he's too powerful for you to start out with. I know! Why don't I give you my Igglybuff? You, know njust as practice until you can get the hang of things and your Pichu learns to trust you.

Luigi: ( recieves the igglybuff) Oki Doki!

POKE'MON TRAINER: Great!

Prof. Oak: That's a great idea! When Pichu sees how well you interact with your new igglybuff he may grow to trust you. Who knows in time he may even evolve into a pikachu. Ooh this is so exciting! Ahem. Now than I'd like to ask you something important. As you know I am a POKeMON Researcer. In my youth I used to travel the world studying and researching various types of POKeMON species. Now that I am older I am limited in getting around often and I spend much of my time here in the lab recording various POKeMON findings. When potential Pokemon trainers come to visit me I give them this…

( Oak hands Luigi a Pokedex) ( Player Message: ( Your name received a Pokedex) It's a Pokedex! It'll come in very handy on your journey. Using this device a trainer can record data on any Pokemon they encounter. The data is than transferred to my PC so I can update my findings. I would like very much for you to journey out into the wild and find as much data as you can on the Pokemon you discover.

Samus: Documenting data on these wonderous creatures shouldn't be too difficult. I've already started. Samus walks over to the PC., stands in front of it and starts typing away. There. I've successfully uploaded the data I've aquired to you computer so that you may continue your research.











Luigi: What's happening to Bowser?

Peach: Yeah, why is his eyes glowing red like that?

Samus: No! It can not be! It's worse than I feared!

Zelda: What's wrong?

Samus: Bowser has come in contact with high radioactive levels of Phazon. His DNA is rapidly changing at an accelerated rate. If left unaltered he'll transform into... No! We are too late.

Samus's worst fear is confirmed as Bowser grows 4x his normal size. His horns, spikes, and claws extend. His shell gets thicker. Eyes burn with a fury of the redest of reds. It doesn't stop there. His face horribly stretches and becomes more and more grotesque! The transformation is complete. Bowser is now GIGA BOWSER(GIGGA KOOPA in Japan ) With a fierce and mighty roar Bowser strikes the ground with such earth-shattering force that our heroes are flung like rag dolls through the air. Flying overhead Team Star Fox exits their ships and begin to hit Giga Bowser with a barrage of laser shots. They prove to be ineffective. Ness using PK FLASH is successful in momentarily blinding Giga Bowser, though he's now mentally drained in the process and won't be able to summon a PK STARSTORM anytime soon. Samus is able to connect with a few super missiles. Captain Falcon unleashes a powerful FALCON KICK to the back of Giga Bowser's head. He howls in pain. Game and Watch attacks using his chef abilities. Peach is tossing veggies and guarding with Toad. Link has plenty of arrows equipped and has chosen to strike at a distance along with Zelda who is using powerful magic attacks. Yoshi, who also decided to go for long-ranged attacks, hurls his eggs with great ferocity. Luigi launches himself into the air using his signature Green Missile attack right into the stomach of Giga Bowser. Momentarily stunned Luigi unleashes a flurry of punches. Meanwhile the Ice climbers smash Giga Bowser's toe with their hammers and Kirby continuously performs ariel strikes with a warp star. DK continuously attacks with his signature wind-up punch and headbutts.



Hello everyone. I thought today I'd share something new. Don't worry it's not the fanfic, but it dose relate. This is a rough draft ( Please keep that in mind) of an attack sheet for Luigi. This is to explain how he would act in a game and hopefully creates a better visual for the story. If you guys like this kind of thing I will post other characters. If not, well... I won't. Anyway this is still in the working stages and may be alterted time and again until I feel it's right. That being said I hope you all enjoy :

Luigi:

Attacks:

1st-Jump: Jump on a foe’s head.
2nd-Left jab, right jab, Plumber‘s Rump: Strike an enemy with a flurry of punches (Hits up to 3X at most).
3rd-Green Missile: Store energy and than strike a foe in the stomach or chest (Depending on foe’s size) with a powerful strike from Luigi’s noggin. *Note: It takes two turns to execute this move and some foes will be able to dodge or take no damage. Some foes may cause Luigi to take damage to his own head, resulting in a loss of some HP.
4th-Negative Zone: Unleash a powerful, but unpredictable attack. *Note: Like in Brawl this attack will have different effects on enemies; just not all at once. The effects will be randomly changed for every turn. The effects will last five turns. Some effects will wear off right away. Others will last only a few turns. Still others may last an entire match. Some enemies and most bosses will have a high resistance to the effects. Sometimes the Negative Zone attack will miss entirely or do no damage. While it is useful it will be the most unpredictable attack in the game and players will need to use this move sparingly and critically as it takes up much needed SP (Smash Points).

Items:
5 Mushroom
1 Green Mushroom
3 Fire Flower
1POW Block

Defend: A shield covers Luigi (Lasts 1 turn).

Run Away: Escape Battle (May not always work. Tripping may cause a loss of coins or some other penalty).

Characters other characters don't like and why:

Samus-

Donkey Kong: Thinks Donkey Kong is an unintelligent ape who gets in the way and has been nothing but trouble.

Luigi: Thinks Luigi is annoying and whiny. Doesn't like his lack of courage.

Peach: A bit dramatic at times which can be annoying. Tends to be whiny. Feels Peach should be independent and more of a strong leader.

Captain Falcon: A rival bounty hunter. Has claimed bounties first. Has caused enemies to elude Samus at some point in the past. Falcon tends to be flashy and arrogant; which is extremely annoying!

Meta Knight- Tried to attack Kirby. Is arrogant and could cause future threats to peace in the galaxy. Believes Meta Knight is masking his true intentions.


Donkey Kong-

Samus: Samus mean and bossy. Samus yell at DK and think him dumb monkey. DK not dumb monkey. DK smart. SMRT! What Samus know anyhow?

Mario: These two have quite a long history together. Though DK holds no grudge in particular; as proven by his decision to help save the Mushroom Kingdom and rescue Mario, tensions between the two still exist and it wouldn't take much for the two to come to blows.

Luigi: Luigi look like a green Mario. Luigi big frady cat though. DK think Luigi funny. Luigi still Mario's brother. DK smash Luigi if him ever interfere in fight with Mario.

Poke'mon Trainer:

Kirby: Him try to eat DK! Him look like DK and hurt DK with a strong punch. Him copy DK's fighting. DK no like copying. DK SMASH puny pink Kirby!

Peach: She pretty. But she like Mario! DK SMASH Mario! DK fight Peach if she help Mario. Or maybe DK just apenap her...

Zelda: She pretty and smart. DK would apenap her if not for Link by herside.

Link: Him have Zelda as girlfriend. DK fight Link, but Link might be stronger than Mario. DK ashamed to admit he can't beat Mario. Link to tough. DK decide fighting not worth it.


Yoshi-

Kirby: Kirby has stolen Yoshi's potential food sources, has tried to eat him, and seems to have infatuated Peach. Besides being an assigned royal protector for this mission, Yoshi is also considered a cute pet. Kirby has stolen some of that attention away; resulting in some jealousy issues for Yoshi. Guess you can see why Yoshi doesn't like Kirby.


Luigi-

Kirby: Kirby stole his hat! Kirby tries to eat his friends. Luigi has had to fight many of Kirby's enemies. While Luigi deosen't dislike Kirby the pink puff can get under your skin. Still he's tough. Luigi secretly hopes he'd never have to face a foe that fierce.

Samus: Samus scares the daylights out of Luigi. She's a great ally to have on your side, but if you ever had to confront her...

Donkey Kong: I like-a the ape's superior strength lent in the heat of a battle. He makes-a better friend than-a foe. Still he's given-a Mario problems for years. That's-a my bro! I've sat on the side lines long enough. If DK gets out of hand he'll need to be put in his place! I'm-a with you Bro! Got gett'em Mario. I'll just be over here watching...

Hi everyone. Just wanted to inform you all that today I'm adding Character bios to my story. At the end of each chapter will be character bios. Each character will retell the story from their POV. Hopefully this will add some meat to my story and make it less boring for you all. Start at the begining and read each bio at the end of the cahpter. I will update bios dailey and add character bios as needed. This will be pretty much be it. For those of you who have not forgtten or still care about my Smash work here is what you are getting:

Character narration bios from their POV
How the characters feel about one another and why they are fighting
Character description bios including their attacks
More dialouge from current non-talking characters
More detailed dialouge
Intense and detailed fighting sequences
Game play elements
Boss strategies
Enemy charts
Costume appearances
More video game references
More to come...

You see I plan on making this my very best piece of work. I Vow to win over my critics or at least earn their respect. I can't give you all any more but my best and hope that even if you hate my work you understand my commitment and passion of bringing you all my very best. And I'm just getting started. Look for other future projects in the near future...

Hey everyone. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm now going to be doing dailey bios for my Smash Bros. Story. That's the plan at least when I'm not working. Anywho I hope you will all check out my Smash Bros. Post for more information and hopefully become entertained. Until next time faithful readers... Stay Tuned!

No need for a new topic just to advertise your other topic. I'll warn your for spamming this time, since this was obviously unneccessary. Please think twice before making a new topic in the future.

PS: Merged the new topic into the old one.

(09-28-2012, 01:19 PM)Previous Wrote: No need for a new topic just to advertise your other topic. I'll warn your for spamming this time, since this was obviously unneccessary. Please think twice before making a new topic in the future.

PS: Merged the new topic into the old one.

Sorry. It's been a while and I didn't want people to forget all about my work just yet.

When you make a post in your topic, it already gets bumped, so there's absolutely no need for another topic to inform people about it - they'd see it anyways, since your last post brought it up to the top of the topic list.

not to mention after all what has been said i'm surprised you haven't realised that we dont give half a fuck about your terrible writting skills.