Paper Mario animations

[E-Man]

I'll do more for the Goomba once I get the A-OK on my progress so far. (Either that or several days pass before I get any new information. Whatever comes first, really.) In the meantime, I scratched out a little more progress of my Koopa.



I'm under the impression that Virt wants me to try something else for the main angle of the head, so I sketched out two new head ideas in case he want me to use either of those. One has the beak shortened, while the other has the mouth shortened. How did I do?

[E-Man]

Darn it! Apparently, Imgur is over capacity at the time I'm writing this post and I can't really use it as it's like this. With that in mind, I ha ve no choice but to dust off my Photobucket account for this update.



The Big Lantern Ghost is the last character with a unique body type I began progress for on for this short. Even though he is holding a lantern in this sketch and his sheet will have it, he won't have his lantern in the actual short for plot specific reasons.

Speaking of the plot, I was wondering if there are any parts I could rewrite to make it more "show-don't-tell." I plan to do something about Yellow's rant at the end since it goes against this idea (and it is a little mean-spirited), but anything else you want me to alter in the original script? In a Skype chat, a friend of mine said that Yellow knows about the Kammy Koopa situation, yet he is told the details again anyway. What do you think of this?

EDIT: These links lead to each part of the script.
http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid588856
http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid589005
http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid589116

[Filler]

The ghost guy was a pain for me until I realized Bow's slap attack counts as multiple hits to the lantern.

The sketch shows some improvement, but the line technique does not. If this is traditional, you should draw the sketch lines very lightly, then mark off the major outlines using harder pencil strokes. This makes it miles easier for the inker's job, since he doesn't have to tell which line to draw.

Either way, things are looking better and better.

[E-Man]

You do realize that Smithy made a point about my sketchy lines and explained why the inker (AKA me) will have no trouble at all, right?

http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid596334

Anyway, I don't think you saw this yet, but I actually made an alternate edit of Kent C. Koopa's head a bit ago you might be interested in. Even though I already posted it in this thread, I'll repost it here just in case you missed it, Fillerthefreak.


Speaking of Kent, without anymore feedback on him, I decided to tackle his glasses next. After that and gathering the colors for his palette, I intend to ink him next. I know I used the old heads, but the glasses on the right could easily fit over the new edit of the head if I end up using that version.

[E-Man]

I took care of the palette for the Big Lantern Ghost and made a sketch of him holding his lantern when he is facing to the right (I'm able to mirror this in Maya, so no need to worry).



I tried something different with the palette by also including some spheres with the new colors on them. That way, you can get a very good preview of what each color will look like on a character before I start the coloring process.

[E-Man]

I'm sorry it took so long, but I managed to color the Goomba. On top of that, I also created a cameo for the short. I bet you've seen this hansom chap on YouTube somewhere before, right?



I made a few variations with the Goomba character on the right. Most of them involve the color of the teeth, but I also made a version of the head with different colored eyebrows and pupils (I can either use on o the other or both). What do you think I should go for?

Before I end things off, I want to show you guys the first bit of sketching for Princess Peach in spite of her not actually appearing in the first short. The face on the left shows an alternate take on the eyes with the facial parts slightly higher in cause you want me to use that variation.

[Kosheh]

I'm sorry it took so long, but I managed to color the Goomba. On top of that, I also created a cameo for the short. I bet you've seen this hansom chap on YouTube somewhere before, right?



I made a few variations with the Goomba character on the right. Most of them involve the color of the teeth, but I also made a version of the head with different colored eyebrows and pupils (I can either use on o the other or both). What do you think I should go for?

I wouln't shade the Goomba's eyes like in the other examples.  It kind makes him look like he's a drug addict, lol. His eyes on the top left one are fine.

The color scheme on the one to the left is fine, if you just brightened the color ones on the face like you did on the right (basically, make it less blue) he'll look pretty nice.



Also, it seems like you completely ignored my suggestion from last time. I'm not sure what you read, but it's as if whatever I said just completely flew over your head :/
What I was saying is that you should really move his feet up higher on his torso, like the games have been doing since SMB1:

I know you're trying to not infringe on the game's artstyle (???) but otherwise, he looks kinda...outstretched. Try moving the feet up his torso. Lettuce see the results C:

[E-Man]

Actually, the Goomba on the top left is the normal variation of the Goomba you'll see throughout this series. The other one is actually meant to be my take on the Lonely Goomba since I plan to make him cameo in the short.

If you don't know who he is, you'll be bale to find his channel through this link.


Also, I didn't completely ignore your suggestion, so I would appreciate it if you didn't assume something like that. Compared to a previous version, the feet are actually higher up.



The one on the left is what the Goomba actually looked like before I moved the feet up. Since you didn't say anything about it, I was thinking that the version I used now was okay (especially since there is a nice amount of room between the head and the feet). In spite of that, though, I decided to play around with the feet again. Did I get it right this time?

[Kosheh]

1 pretty much nails it. :V
Sorry to be kind of a dick about it, though but it just seems like you didn't acknowledge it at all so I was a bit cheesed about it >:


I...didn't even know the Lonely Goomba was a thing though oops. If he's meant to look psychotic, then you've nailed it lol. Also, I think what I was trying to say is like, the regular Goomba's colors are too...deep. Like he's TOO brown. Someone else might be able to explain it better than me, but I've seen how your coloring method works in the past - if you make the highlight color lighter on the standard Goomba's face, it'll be a little more "balanced" and will look okay. It might be...a thing with your monitor, as I tilted mine and the Goomba suddenly looks OK but as of now, his colors are too "deep" >:

[E-Man]

I forgive you, mate. Still, I did actually acknowledge you several days ago when you made that original post. You'll find it right through this link. I guess you missed it for some reason? :/

Now, as much as I'd like to go with number two since it gives a nice amount of space between the head and the foot, I'll go with your option since you like it best. As for the head color, maybe the hue shifting I used for Luigi's hair might help with this one?


The new one's on the right.

[E-Man]

I just want to show you guys this before I begin the script overhaul.


The variation without the limbs is meant to show an alternate placement of the face in case the one I've choses before looks a bit off. Also, the center variation shows one of the feet being obscured by the body sheet in case that looks better.

[E-Man]

Right then, time for a script revision. What I want to focus on is giving the Koopa Bros. more rounded personalities (with the possible exception of Red due to what kind of character he is) and stick closely to the personalities I intended for them. Just click here if you want to see what I have in mind for them.

By the way, I was going to mention this before in the post I was describing the Koopa Bros. personalities, but the post went on for longer than I liked it to, so I had to cut it out. Before I show you the script I wrote, I want to give my two cents on the other changes Kosheh brought up.


- When I read the script again prior to Kosheh's rewrite of the first couple of parts, I saw several typos throughout. Even though the typos wouldn't badly affect the script, I'm not against changing them (especially since I almost instantly correct any typos I spot in my posts). I just didn't get around to correcting the typos because it's easier to work on the full script in Microsoft Word (which currently doesn't work right now ever since my dad replaced the hard drive).

- I don't know how I feel about Bombette being called the "pink Bob-omb." It just seems a little generic. I only chose "dame" to fit with Red's habit of disrespecting others. I could always go with "chick" or "babe" instead. Probably the former since "babe" would suggest that Red has a crush on her.

- I never really thought about emphasizing certain words for the most part. I was intending that to be up to the voice actor to decide which words and phrases need more emotional stress (with the exception of when I specifically point out which parts need that kind of stress). In spite of that, I'll try Kosheh's method to see how that works out.

- When it comes to additional actions not covered in the script, such as sprite flipping in the dialog, I honestly want to save it for when I work on the storyboard and rough out the animation. Still, I don't exactly mind adding more actions in just in case some actions are not clear and/or need more details.

- I'm cool with the K-Game pun. I'll be sure to throw it in there.

- When I read over my first edition of the script after Kosheh brought up this detail, I was smacking my head and asking myself why I didn't give Bowser a nickname over and over again. Even Red, who is the most informal of the bunch and the most like Michelangelo, just calls him Bowser.

- Actually, having Black sigh and walk out is a good idea. At the same time, though, I also want to show Black's competence as a ninja, so I'm thinking a compromise between these two ideas could work.

- As for using joke weapons for the Koopa Bros., I'm actually fine with that. The only problem is that it's hard to pull it off in this short. The only one actually fighting is Black, but he is way too serious to consider using anything besides actual ninja gear unless he has to improvise. This might end up as something I need to save for later shorts, but I can at least imagine this concept clearly for the remaining three Koopa Bros. Red will try to pass off his joke weapons as the real deal and gets irritated if someone points it out. Green is a bit more modest about it, but he is actually successful with using these kind of weapons. As for Yellow, I imagine him using goofy devices made from discarded junk that are similar to the ones seen throughout Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy.

Now then, I digressed enough. It's time to move onto the first part of the script. If it turns out I got the second revision right, I'll move onto the next part and give it the same treatment. By the way, my notes on the script are in red in case it isn't obvious enough.

The Koopa Bros.: Back in Action

(The title of the short appears over an outside pan of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. I do not know if the fortress should look like it has seen better days or not ever since its appearance in Paper Mario. Inside, we find Red pacing around and sighing in the bedroom of the Koopa Bros. Yellow is nearby soldering a motherboard at a table.)

I changed this scene around a bit to include Yellow right off the bat instead of just walk in a bit later. My intention for this is to incorporate a clear example of his superior intellect without dragging out the story longer than need or messing with the flow overall.

Red: *Sigh* Bogus… Another day doin' jack all…

(Yellow sets down his soldering tool and looks at Red.)

Yellow: Is there something troubling you, Red?

My intention for Yellow's method of speaking this time around is to be politically correct and more scholarly. Even though he is based on Donatello, I actually had Edd in mind when developing his character.

Red: You're the, like, brainiac on the team, Yellow. Figure it out yerself.

Looking back at the original script, I made Red too polite during that phrase. Kosheh did well by adding just a smidgen of obnoxiousness there, which I translated over to this revision.

????: Save your brainpower, Yellow. He's just whining about how we haven't got a gig from Bowser in ages.

(Red gets startled by this comment as the camera quickly shifts to Black sitting on the bed next to him.)

Red: *Pants a bits* JEEZ, Black! You've been there long!? Stop usin' that totally freaky ninja stuff on me!

Green: *Offscreen* Red! RED! *Barges in* What's wrong! What's wro- WHOA!

(Green trips on the floor and Red facepalms.)

Red: Still bein' a clutz as aways, ya cheeseball?

Black: Don't pay any attention to that coward, Green. He was only startled when I sneaked up on him during another pointless venting session.

(Red glares at Black.)

Green: Oh? Was he ventin' about how we're unemployed every since Kammy lost her position next to Big B?

Red: *Facepalming* No… I was jabbin' about how us four ain't in Smash Bros… *Waits a bit and then explodes into a rage* OF COURSE I WAS RANTIN' ABOUT THAT, SHELL-BRAIN! After Blue Robes got back his, like, Merlin gig from Kamms, the head honcho ain't got use for us yet! Due to that bodaciously raw deal, we lack the goons and dough from keeping this fort from goin' south!

When I was thinking about rewriting the script, the idea occurred to me to have Green listen to Red's exposition. The problem before was that Red was telling it to Yellow, who is clearly the smartest on the team and likely to know all this. My logic now is that I think I'll be able to get away with it by having Red explain it to someone he assumes is an idiot.

(As Red is shouting at Green, Green is cowering before Red. Yellow is worried and puts his hand over his mouth, while Black is standing there rolling his eyes with his arms crossed.)

Green: *After a moment, he composes himself by taking a deep breath* You didn't have to, like, blow your stack, dude. I was only askin'… Say, why's this place goin' south anyhow? Seems fine to me.

Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look mighty funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for some BODACIOUS reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and that Bob-omb chick blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a totally weak Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that, like, undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…

(As Red is explaining his dilemma, the camera cuts and pans around various parts of the fortress. The hallway with the firebars shows the firebars all burnt out with ashes in their places. When the camera shows the base of entry tower with the pool of water, the green pool of sludgy water bubbles as a octopus tentacle rises from it. As for the cell where the Bob-ombs were once held, it shows the inside has graffiti in it. There is a lone Dry Bones collapsed on the floor, but it shortly rearranges its pieces back together and lets out an eerie cackle. When Red is done explaining, the camera cuts back to the bedroom.)

Green: Aw, it's not so bad, Red! That thing in the water's totally nice, especially when you feed it pizza! Also, that was me lettin' those guys out.

(Red gives Green an annoyed look.)

Green: What? Bill Bones gets shy a lot and he pays the rent down there!

Black: Heh… From what Green is saying, we're better off making this place a cheap motel just to pay for renovations… Still, if it'll keep you from whining all the time, I'd say we try doing Bowser a favor.

Red: Get another job from King Firebreath? The guy hates our guts too much to even put us on, like, KP duty just to get minimum wage…

Green: But, Red, I thought King B just isn't interested in us nomores since we're hardly anymore effective than even his averadge lack-

Red: SHUT UP, ya IDIOT! He hate's use since Fatty Red creamed us and that's THAT!

Yellow: Green is right, Red. No offense to you, but Bowser clearly used terms and facial expressions to show indifference when we saw him last. Now that I think of it, Kammy Koopa was the only reason he even considered hiring-

Red: Yeah yeah… Whatever, Yellow… Look, guys, the only way to, like, earn back the big guy's trust is to mop the floor with a certain plumber, but good luck tryin' to take out the guy who totally make the king of us look bogus.

Green: Don't forget he even thrashed that baby Koopa dude who totally curb stomped us back at-

Red: CAN IT, GREEN!

Yellow: May I make a suggestion, Red? Perhaps if we took an important person in Mario's life as a hostage, we could use it as a kind of bargaining chip to gain the upper-hand?

Red: And that's why you're totally the Einstein on our team, Yellow! *Thinks for a bit* Now, Peach is out since they probably, like, beefed up security with all the times the bossman snatches her up.

Green: Actually, last time I heard, her place is still totally free from any-

Red: *Snaps fingers* BINGO, dudes! Remember Plumber Boy's gang of dweebs he kept during that, like, Star Spirits rigmarole? We nab one and this plan goes to Radical City!

Black: Red, none of those guys are completely helpless. You're better off catching Luigi, who is actually quite simple to-

Red: C'mon, bros! Get your K-Game on 'cuz we're headin' out to Goomba Village! As for you, Yellow, how about makin' yourself, like, useful and get one of yer totally rad trap doohickies?

Yellow: I actually have this really brilliant one I'm just about to put the finishing touches on, so give me a moment to find it.

(Red grins at this idea and both he and Yellow exit the bedroom. Green looks at Black, who sighs and preforms a single bacflip out the window. Green looks frontwards toward the viewer and makes an "I-don't-know" pose at the viewer before leaving.)

[Kosheh]

I uh, I have to be honest - it's actually really tough to read through this time around. >_o Like, I get what you're going for with Red, but his dialogue feels extremely forced now. :/

Like - okay, in short you've written the characters with too much character. On a scale of 1 to 10, you just cranked them up to like 11.
(Rather, shoot for like a 5 or ...uh, 7 tops)

Also uh, seems like you're splitting hairs a bit with some of those points but uh
* Kosheh shrugs

- I don't know how I feel about Bombette being called the "pink Bob-omb." It just seems a little generic. I only chose "dame" to fit with Red's habit of disrespecting others. I could always go with "chick" or "babe" instead. Probably the former since "babe" would suggest that Red has a crush on her.

I can't say I memorized the Paper Mario script from my teenage years, but there's not really anything about Bombette's gender that sticks out besides her name - and I'm pretty sure she didn't speak to the Koopa Bros either (only to Mario) so there's no concrete way that Red would know her gender. I also went with the "generic" approach as it flowed better with his dialogue.

- As for using joke weapons for the Koopa Bros., I'm actually fine with that. The only problem is that it's hard to pull it off in this short. The only one actually fighting is Black, but he is way too serious to consider using anything besides actual ninja gear unless he has to improvise. This might end up as something I need to save for later shorts, but I can at least imagine this concept clearly for the remaining three Koopa Bros. Red will try to pass off his joke weapons as the real deal and gets irritated if someone points it out. Green is a bit more modest about it, but he is actually successful with using these kind of weapons. As for Yellow, I imagine him using goofy devices made from discarded junk that are similar to the ones seen throughout Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy.

It doesn't have to be used in THIS short - just think about it. lol it's a one-off gag
Like if they threaten to fight Mario, just have them show up, and be all "Now we're REALLY ready to rumble!!" and have them all pose with their weapons, but then be like "na we were just using them for show"

[E-Man]

So, I overdid it, huh? Personally, I'm glad that I gave it my all instead of make an effort that either made Red look bland or my script look outright lazy/subpar. In spite of this, I'll try toning it down in the next revision.

As for Bombette's gender, since I know Paper Mario like the back of my hand (and I looked up a playthrough on YouTube just in case), Bombette mentions how she worked for the Koopa Bros. and blew up next to them. I can imagine there might have been a short exchange of words between them in either situation, so the Koopa Bros. might know her gender then. Plus, with an appearance like that, they could probably assume her gender anyway. Regardless, just in case you're not happy with the originally line, I'll provide suggestions on what to change it in hopes of a better flow.

Also, Kosheh, thank you for being cool about the one gag. I was just a little concerned that I need to somehow write it into the story without shoehorning it in, so that lifts a weight off my shoulder.  

Anyway, let's move on! From the sound of it, only Red needs adjustments.  If a character like Green or Yellow needs adjustments, I'll see what I can do in the next revision. I wrote the new lines in blue, and I also left in his original lines for you to compare them with.

The Koopa Bros.: Back in Action

(The title of the short appears over an outside pan of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. I do not know if the fortress should look like it has seen better days or not ever since its appearance in Paper Mario. Inside, we find Red pacing around and sighing in the bedroom of the Koopa Bros. Yellow is nearby soldering a motherboard at a table.)

Red: *Sigh* Bogus… Another day doin' jack all…

Red: *Sigh* Another day doin' jack all…

(Yellow sets down his soldering tool and looks at Red.)

Yellow: Is there something troubling you, Red?

Red: You're the, like, brainiac on the team, Yellow. Figure it out yerself.

Red: You're the brainiac on the team, Yellow. Figure it out yerself.

????: Save your brainpower, Yellow. He's just whining about how we haven't got a gig from Bowser in ages.

(Red gets startled by this comment as the camera quickly shifts to Black sitting on the bed next to him.)

Red: *Pants a bits* JEEZ, Black! You've been there long!? Stop usin' that totally freaky ninja stuff on me!

Red: *Pants a bits* JEEZ, Black! You've been there long!? Stop usin' that freaky ninja stuff on me!

Green: *Offscreen* Red! RED! *Barges in* What's wrong! What's wro- WHOA!

(Green trips on the floor and Red facepalms.)

Red: Still bein' a clutz as aways, cheeseball?

Black: Don't pay any attention to that coward, Green. He was only startled when I sneaked up on him during another pointless venting session.

(Red glares at Black.)

Green: Oh? Was he ventin' about how we're unemployed every since Kammy lost her position next to Big B?

Red: *Facepalming* No… I was jabbin' about how us four ain't in Smash Bros… *Waits a bit and then explodes into a rage* OF COURSE I WAS RANTIN' ABOUT THAT, SHELL-BRAIN! After Blue Robes got back his, like, Merlin gig from Kamms, the head honcho ain't got use for us yet! Due to that bodaciously raw deal, we lack the goons and dough from keeping this fort from goin' south!

Red: *Facepalming* No… I was jabbin' about how us four ain't in Smash Bros… *Waits a bit and then explodes into a rage* OF COURSE I WAS RANTIN' ABOUT THAT, SHELL-BRAIN! After Blue Robes got back his Merlin gig from Kamms, the head honcho ain't got use for us yet! Thanks to that, we lack the goons and dough from keeping this fort from goin' south!

(As Red is shouting at Green, Green is cowering before Red. Yellow is worried and puts his hand over his mouth, while Black is standing there rolling his eyes with his arms crossed.)

Green: *After a moment, he composes himself by taking a deep breath* You didn't have to, like, blow your stack, dude. I was only askin'… Say, why's this place goin' south anyhow? Seems fine to me.

Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look mighty funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for some BODACIOUS reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and that Bob-omb chick blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a totally weak Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that, like, undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…

Suggestion 1
Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for SOME reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and that chick blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…

Suggestion 2
Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for SOME reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and one of those Bob-ombs blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…

(As Red is explaining his dilemma, the camera cuts and pans around various parts of the fortress. The hallway with the firebars shows the firebars all burnt out with ashes in their places. When the camera shows the base of entry tower with the pool of water, the green pool of sludgy water bubbles as a octopus tentacle rises from it. As for the cell where the Bob-ombs were once held, it shows the inside has graffiti in it. There is a lone Dry Bones collapsed on the floor, but it shortly rearranges its pieces back together and lets out an eerie cackle. When Red is done explaining, the camera cuts back to the bedroom.)

Green: Aw, it's not so bad, Red! That thing in the water's totally nice, especially when you feed it pizza! Also, that was me lettin' those guys out.

(Red gives Green an annoyed look.)

Green: What? Bill Bones gets shy a lot and he pays the rent down there!

Black: Heh… From what Green is saying, we're better off making this place a cheap motel just to pay for renovations… Still, if it'll keep you from whining all the time, I'd say we try doing Bowser a favor.

Red: Get another job from King Firebreath? The guy hates our guts too much to even put us on, like, KP duty just to get minimum wage…

Red: Get another job from King Firebreath? The guy hates our guts too much to even put us on KP duty just for minimum wage…

Green: But, Red, I thought King B just isn't interested in us nomores since we're hardly anymore effective than even his averadge lack-

Red: SHUT UP, ya IDIOT! He hate's use since Fatty Red creamed us and that's THAT!

Yellow: Green is right, Red. No offense to you, but Bowser clearly used terms and facial expressions to show indifference when we saw him last. Now that I think of it, Kammy Koopa was the only reason he even considered hiring-

Red: Yeah yeah… Whatever, Yellow… Look, guys, the only way to, like, earn back the big guy's trust is to mop the floor with a certain plumber, but good luck tryin' to take out the guy who totally make the king of us look bogus.

Red: Yeah yeah… Whatever, Yellow… Look, guys, the only way to earn back the big guy's trust is to mop the floor with that plumber, but good luck tryin' to take out the guy who even makes the king look bogus.

Green: Don't forget he even thrashed that baby Koopa dude who totally curb stomped us back at-

Red: CAN IT, GREEN!

Yellow: May I make a suggestion, Red? Perhaps if we took an important person in Mario's life as a hostage, we could use it as a kind of bargaining chip to gain the upper-hand?

Red: And that's why you're totally the Einstein on our team, Yellow! *Thinks for a bit* Now, Peach is out since they probably, like, beefed up security with all the times the bossman snatches her up.

Red: And that's why you're the Einstein on our team, Yellow! *Thinks for a bit* Now, Peach is out since they likely beefed up security with all the times the bossman snatched her up.

Green: Actually, last time I heard, her place is still totally free from any-

Red: *Snaps fingers* BINGO, dudes! Remember Plumber Boy's gang of dweebs he kept during that, like, Star Spirits rigmarole? We nab one and this plan goes to Radical City!

Red: *Snaps fingers* BINGO! Remember Plumber Boy's gang of dweebs he kept during that Star Spirits rigmarole? We nab one and we're GOLDEN!

Black: Red, none of those guys are completely helpless. You're better off catching Luigi, who is actually quite simple to-

Red: C'mon, bros! Get your K-Game on 'cuz we're headin' out to Goomba Village! As for you, Yellow, how about makin' yourself, like, useful and get one of yer totally rad trap doohickies?

Red: C'mon, bros! Get your K-Game on 'cuz we're headin' out to Goomba Village! As for you, Yellow, how about makin' yourself useful and get one of yer trap doohickies?

Yellow: I actually have this really brilliant one I'm just about to put the finishing touches on, so give me a moment to find it.

(Red grins at this idea and both he and Yellow exit the bedroom. Green looks at Black, who sighs and preforms a single bacflip out the window. Green looks frontwards toward the viewer and makes an "I-don't-know" pose at the viewer before leaving.)

[E-Man]

I went ahead with rewriting the second part of the script, too. I hope you don't mind me "stealing" some of your lines and slightly changing

(The scene changes to Goomba Village. The camera is slowly panning outside of the main house to the left.)

Goombario: *From inside the house* Aw, come on, dad! Do I have to?

Goompapa: *Also inside* Son, even though it's yer job around the house to headbonk any unwanted guests, the last visitor we had was two months ago, and it was just an insurance salesman.

Goombario: You seemed to be so eager for me to headbonk such a nice guy.

Goompapa: Maybe to YOU, son! Anyways, yer ma's been pestering me to plant some new Goomnut Trees around the house. Since my back ain't what it used to be and I ain't gettin' my hands dirty over garden work, it's about time you started pulling yer weight around the house.

Goombario: Uh, when you say "hands," you mean that figuratively?

Goompapa: …Less sass and more work, young man.

Goombario: Alright, I get it! I was just gonna start looking for the shovel. Yeesh!

(Goombario steps outside with a spade and heads over to a vacant patch of dirt. He starts digging in the ground with a Goomnut beside him. Shortly afterwards, the camera pans over to the entry gate with the Koopa Bros. close to it.)

Red: Heh! There's the fungal squirt playin' in the dirt over there!

Green: Really? It looks like he's planting trees to make more radically tasty Goomnuts!

Red: BLEH… Goomnuts… Right then, Yellow, brought the trapping whatchamacallit?

Yellow: Indeed, Red! *Pulls out a net launcher made of some discarded junk* It's not much, but it can launch a high tensile strength net up to exactly 114.6 meters away.

Red: Oh… Well, I was hopin' it was just a cage or whatever. See, I ain't gonna need it since I'll just nab him the old fashioned way! Gimme a boost, Yellow!

Yellow: *As he helps Red up* Umm… Okay then…

Black: Ah… About time that windbag does something right for a change.

Green: What do ya mean, dude?

Black: He's taking the stealth approach without even me nagging him into doing it. Sure, sneaking up on a Goomba isn't a big deal, but it is a good start… Well, by my low expectations anyway…

Green: Oh! Sneak up and Goom-nap the little guy? That's, like, really clev-

Red: YO! CHESTNUT!

(Both Green and Yellow a struck dumbfounded, while Black facepalms.)

Red: *As he leans on top of the gate and rocks it back and fourth* My ombreys and I are back to punch your lights out! Without ol' Stromboli to get you outta this jam, you're ONE DEAD PIZZA TOPPING! Once we sack ya, we'll use you to bring that pepperoni pal of yours to his KNEES!

(As Red is making his threats, Goombario makes a quick eye dart over to the gate. He only rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he resumes digging in the ground.)

Red: *To the others* Check it, Bros.! He's too busy shaking in his li'l Goomba boots to even talk back! It's in the bag, gu-

(Just then, the gate gives in and topples backwards with Red on it. He lands on Yellow, which causes him to accidentally fire his net launcher at the window of the house. When the window breaks, Goombario is shocked and Goompapa angrily exits the house.)

Goompapa: *As the camera zooms in on him* Dang-NABBIT! I just fixed that gate…

Black: Yeah… You're on your own with this one, Red… *Disappears with a smoke bomb*

Red: *Finally comes to his sense* Uh-oh… LET'S SPLIT, DUDES!

(Red hightails it out of Goomba Village. Green tires to get Yellow up, but it is too late as Goompapa catches them.)

Goompapa: So, ya'll reckon you can get away with breakin' my gate, huh? I hope ya'll kissed yer shells goodbye because I'm gonna make you pay…

I was thinking that the beating from before was going a little too far, so I thought that having it seem like Goompapa is going to abuse the other two Koopa Bros. is funnier.