Super Smash Bros. Clash

[Lexou Duck]

[Virt]

not too far away is Young Link heading into the Temple of time. He walks over to the master sword and pulls it from the pedistool of time.

Get it

The Pedi Stool

of Time

[Gors]

even if Lexou posted that overused image macro, I guess there is not a better, sucint way to express myself.

[Thumbtacks]

[Sevenstitch]

Toad 3: Have you ever heard of Pop Diva from Club 64? Her music is very poplar in my home of Fungi Town.

Get it

Pop Diva

Like Soda Pop

A carbonated beverage

[Cobalt Blue]

Peach: Hyrule? Than you are Princess Zelda. Oh this is fantastic. The Professor sent me to request the help of you two? Oh, did you hear that Yoshi? The Mushroom Kingdom is as good as saved! Yoshi: Yoshi! Zelda: Mushroom Kingdom? Oh sweetie you must be confused. Link, did this young girl take a bump to the head when you rescued her? Peach: Honest it's true. I'm Princess Peach Toadstool. Zelda: The Princess Peach Toadstool? That can't be. I've heard many tales of that far away kingdom and I know it has one of the mightest heroes of all time protectecting it. None other than the famous Super Mario. Oh and his brother as well. What was his name again? Peach: Oh you mean Luigi? Zelda: Right Luigi. With the two famous twin brothers protecting the Mushroom Kingdom why would the Princess ever need to travel such a long distance to request Hyrule's aid? King: You think she's a spy than Princess? Zelda: I'm not sure. But her story doesn't add up. Yoshi: ( Angry) Yoshi! Peach: Hey, I'm no spy and I AM Princess Toadstool. Please let me explain. The fate of the Mushroom Kingdom isn't the only matter to be concerned with. The fate of many worlds; including this one are at stake. Zelda: This world? You mean all of Hyrule? King: Nonsense. Hyrule is in no peril. Even if it were Link would stop the opposing threat; just like his ancestors before him. Our guards are the best fighters throughout the land. Hyrule has its chosen champion; just like the Mushroom Kingdom has its hero, Super Mario. Peach: (breaks into tears) No… I'm afraid we had Mario. He was kidnapped and we don't know where to find him. That's why I've come all this way. Zelda… from one Princess to another I humbly request your aid. (Peach drops to her knees her head held down. Still sobbing softly.) Zelda: Your Majesty we must at least hear this girl's tale from the beginning. King: What? The Super Mario being kidnapped? The Mushroom Kingdom falling into ruin? Rubbish! Zelda: Your Majesty I implore you to hear her out. I belive she speaks the truth. This must be Princess Toadstool. If I'm wrong we'll have her treated for any wounds and I'll provide a safe heaven for her in the village. But if I'm right… sigh…If I'm right I want to know what she knows about a possible attack on Hyrule. This sounds most urgent . Princess Toadstool. Rise and tell me your tale. You have my attention. Peach: Oh thank you Princess Zelda. You are most gracious. Well…I guess I should ell you what I know… Scene fades to black. Scene opens with Zelda: This is most troubling indeed. I've made my decision. Link are you well equipped for a long travel? Nsvi: Hey…Listen…Link's always prepared. He's ready for anything. Zelda: Good. Link, you, Navi, and myself are leaving at once for the Mushroom Kingdom. Link nods. King: Princess I ask you to reconsider. We still don't know if we can trust this girl or if this is all a trap set up by opur enemies. Suppose our enemies want you and Link to leave Hyrule so they can conquer it with you two out of the opicture. Zelda: First of all this girl is the Princess Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom. I'm sure of it. Her word is good enough for me. As far as Hyrule is concerned you said so yourself that we have the best guards and warriors throughout the land. They will keep Hyrule safe until our return. King: Princess be reasonable. Our armies are most powerful indeed, but we are no match for the strength of Gannon and his armies of darkness. Zelda: Gannon has been dealt with. Link and I have made sure of that. King: Still what if he returns like he has so many times before and you and Link are not here to stop him? I must deny your request. The fate of Hyrule rests in the hands of yourself and Link. Not outsiders. Zelda pauses. She's in thought. A box now appears on the screen. There's a question for the player to answer. Will Zelda jhoin the cause? Yes/No. Here's what happens if you say no. Zelda: You have a point majesty. I however cannot refuse the request of help from someone in need . Link, I cannot abandoned my duties as a Princess. Hyrule needs me. That's why I am ordering you and Navi to travel with Princess Toadstool to the Mushrrom Kingdom and help her with her plight. I shall remain here to protect Hyrule until your safe return. Link nods. Navi: hey…listen… We won't disappoint you Princess. ( The Zelda victory theme from Melee plays.) A text box appears: The hero of time is at your command. Now your advwenture truly begins! The heroes are seen leaving Hyrule Castle with the main Zelda theme playing. They enter a nearby portal as the theme fades out. The scene fades to black. New Chapter begins. *Note: performing this option will give the player Link, but not Zelda. And you hear Navi talk again. Obviously the player will want to say yes. Here's what will happen: Zelda: You're right. The fate of Hyrule rests in Link's and my hands. Which is why I'm leaving with Princess Peach in a preemptive strike against the forces of evuil. If I'm correct I'll be saving Hyru;le from peril once and for all. Gannon may be defeated, but there are other evul forces at work. I'll stop them all. I'll see the day when Gannon is stopped for good and Hyrule knows peace and prosparity for the remainder of her days. That is my fondest wish and my destiny as a Princess to fulfill. Peach wants the same thing. Foer her kingdom. No more threats from Bowser and safety and prosparity fior all her people. The threat of evil stiops now. Hyrule and the Mushroom Kingdom shall unite forces and we will vanquish evcil once and for all. ( The Zelda victory theme from melee plays) A text box appears and says: Way to go! The "Princess of Wisdom Zelda" and the Couragous "Hero of Time" Link have choisen to lend you their strength. They will be a most val uable assett indeed. Our heroes exit the castel ( Zelda Theme starts playing) and head towards a portal. They enter the portal (The Zelda theme fades out as the scene fades to black. Our heroes return to Professor E. Gadd's Lab. E. Gadd: My back so soon? Peach: You told us to be remember Professor? E. Gadd: Yes… hm well… uh… where's Lui… FLASH! Luigi! You're soaking wet. What happened? Luigi speaks. E. Gadd: You say the portal just closed up. Hm. This is troubling. Most troubling indeed. In any event It's good to see you're all here unharmed. DK speaks. Uh… yes it's good to see you too. DK one arm hugs the professor. The Profesors face is blue. Ugh… good indeed. Care for this? He hands DK a bananna. DK is now happily jumping up and down. Yes it's so nice of you to join our cause. Princess. I see you have brought back your heroes as well. Peach: Yes Professor. This is Princess Zelda of Hyrule. Zelda: Pleased to meet you Professor. Peach: And with her is … Navi: Link, Listen, This is the scientist who requested our aid. E. Gadd: Oh my a little talking butterfly. How interesting. Navi: Hey I'm no butterfly. I'm Navi, Link's personal fairy assistant. He's fortunate to have me around you know. Why once he was the only boy in Kokiri village who didn't have a fairy. It really is such a sad tale. Why I rember when… Zelda: Calm down little sprite. We need to jknowe what's going on here. Navi: Right. Link. Get ready to listen. Are you listening? Listen Link. E. Gadd: Right. Let me first start off by saying Link. We owe you our gratitude for coming here. Without your heroic skills and abilities we may not surrive this invassion. Enemies have not only invaded opur world, but yours as well. Even nowe they grow in number. Soon we may not be able to stop their growth. Soon they may take over all worlds, no whole universeres, which could potentially result in… Peach: Uhm… Excuse me Professor? E. Gadd: Yes Princess? Princess Peacxh: Link and Zelda are already aware of the growing danger. You just need to tell us how to stop it. E. Gadd: Oh right than. Yes I suppose I did get off topic there huh? Navi: I followed you. E. Gadd: Thank you butt… er little sprite. Nsvi: Navi E. Gadd: Navi. Hm.. Interesting. Peach: What is it Professor? E. Gadd these readings. According to my calculations the length of the portals are shortening. This is indeed a probl;em. We have less time to gather heroes and you all have to… Zelda: Have to what Professor? E. Gadd: Travel into space. Everyone gasps. Uh don't worry though fortunately I have a little something in hand to help you all out. Behold. Hje presses a button on a remote control and a wall panel opens up revealing Zelda: Are those space suits? E. Gadd: Sure are. Nifty huh? Peach: But professor when did you start desiging space suits? I thought your work uinvolved the supernatural and paranormal. E. Gadd: It dodsse. It does. But the Mario bros. Must be ready to travel anywhere at all times and I figured sooner or later they may need to be equipped to travel through space. So I've secretly been working on designing these special space suits for the bros. And aoll the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach: All of our citizens? E. Gadd: Well sure. It's always good to be prepared. I mean what if some day Bowser figures out a way to send all the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom into Outter space while he's on one of his missions to capture you? That could happen. Peach: Professor. Outer Space? Even Bowser wouldn't be crazy enough to launch all of us into outer space. Besides Could you imagine Mario flying around in outer space with Yoshi trying to save me and Luigi? Boy the notions you come up with sometimes. You're so silly Professor. E. Gadd: Well in any event I've managed to create costumes for all of you and I may have a spare for Link and his traveling companions here. Ah yes here we are everyone gear up. Scrteen fades to balck. Scene opens again with everyone in their space suits. ( The suits are the ones from Space Land from Mario Party 2.) These specially designed suits will be able to stand the atmospheric pressure of the Planet Zebes. There you must find the one called Samus. Peach: Samus? We now see a flashback cutscene of Ridley destroying the Mushroom Kingdom. Ridley: Flee. Flee in terror! I've only just begun. He blows something up. My tyranny over this land will not end until you surrender Samus to me. Toad: Ah! What's a Samus? Toad: I don't know. Do you? Toad: No. Ridley: Fools! Do not play dumb with me. I was informed she's hiding here. Now wherte is she? He shoots more beams. Toads: AAAAAHHH! Scene flashes back to now. Peach: That creature… it demanded Samus. Where is it now? E. Gadd: It said it had other matters to attend to, but that it would return. Zelda: Than our mission is clear. Whoever this Samus is we need to find him and fast. Maybe we can use him to lure that creature back here and than we'll spring an ambush ion it. E. Gadd: Sounds like the best solution we've got. Peach: I Agree we need a plan but… we can't just use Samus for our own personal gain. First we'll have to gain his trust than maybe he'll agree to fight for us. Zelda: Agreed. The problem is we don't know what Samus looks like. Do you know Professor? E. Gadd: I 'm not sure. That I'm afraid you'll have to discover for yourselves.

[Makermatic21]

Toad 3: Have you ever heard of Pop Diva from Club 64? Her music is very poplar in my home of Fungi Town.

Get it

Pop Diva

Like Soda Pop

A carbonated beverage

Lol. I guess you are the "King of Puns". Nice drawings too.

---

Peach: Hyrule? Than you are Princess Zelda. Oh this is fantastic. The Professor sent me to request the help of you two? Oh, did you hear that Yoshi? The Mushroom Kingdom is as good as saved! Yoshi: Yoshi! Zelda: Mushroom Kingdom? Oh sweetie you must be confused. Link, did this young girl take a bump to the head when you rescued her? Peach: Honest it's true. I'm Princess Peach Toadstool. Zelda: The Princess Peach Toadstool? That can't be. I've heard many tales of that far away kingdom and I know it has one of the mightest heroes of all time protectecting it. None other than the famous Super Mario. Oh and his brother as well. What was his name again? Peach: Oh you mean Luigi? Zelda: Right Luigi. With the two famous twin brothers protecting the Mushroom Kingdom why would the Princess ever need to travel such a long distance to request Hyrule's aid? King: You think she's a spy than Princess? Zelda: I'm not sure. But her story doesn't add up. Yoshi: ( Angry) Yoshi! Peach: Hey, I'm no spy and I AM Princess Toadstool. Please let me explain. The fate of the Mushroom Kingdom isn't the only matter to be concerned with. The fate of many worlds; including this one are at stake. Zelda: This world? You mean all of Hyrule? King: Nonsense. Hyrule is in no peril. Even if it were Link would stop the opposing threat; just like his ancestors before him. Our guards are the best fighters throughout the land. Hyrule has its chosen champion; just like the Mushroom Kingdom has its hero, Super Mario. Peach: (breaks into tears) No… I'm afraid we had Mario. He was kidnapped and we don't know where to find him. That's why I've come all this way. Zelda… from one Princess to another I humbly request your aid. (Peach drops to her knees her head held down. Still sobbing softly.) Zelda: Your Majesty we must at least hear this girl's tale from the beginning. King: What? The Super Mario being kidnapped? The Mushroom Kingdom falling into ruin? Rubbish! Zelda: Your Majesty I implore you to hear her out. I belive she speaks the truth. This must be Princess Toadstool. If I'm wrong we'll have her treated for any wounds and I'll provide a safe heaven for her in the village. But if I'm right… sigh…If I'm right I want to know what she knows about a possible attack on Hyrule. This sounds most urgent . Princess Toadstool. Rise and tell me your tale. You have my attention. Peach: Oh thank you Princess Zelda. You are most gracious. Well…I guess I should ell you what I know… Scene fades to black. Scene opens with Zelda: This is most troubling indeed. I've made my decision. Link are you well equipped for a long travel? Nsvi: Hey…Listen…Link's always prepared. He's ready for anything. Zelda: Good. Link, you, Navi, and myself are leaving at once for the Mushroom Kingdom. Link nods. King: Princess I ask you to reconsider. We still don't know if we can trust this girl or if this is all a trap set up by opur enemies. Suppose our enemies want you and Link to leave Hyrule so they can conquer it with you two out of the opicture. Zelda: First of all this girl is the Princess Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom. I'm sure of it. Her word is good enough for me. As far as Hyrule is concerned you said so yourself that we have the best guards and warriors throughout the land. They will keep Hyrule safe until our return. King: Princess be reasonable. Our armies are most powerful indeed, but we are no match for the strength of Gannon and his armies of darkness. Zelda: Gannon has been dealt with. Link and I have made sure of that. King: Still what if he returns like he has so many times before and you and Link are not here to stop him? I must deny your request. The fate of Hyrule rests in the hands of yourself and Link. Not outsiders. Zelda pauses. She's in thought. A box now appears on the screen. There's a question for the player to answer. Will Zelda jhoin the cause? Yes/No. Here's what happens if you say no. Zelda: You have a point majesty. I however cannot refuse the request of help from someone in need . Link, I cannot abandoned my duties as a Princess. Hyrule needs me. That's why I am ordering you and Navi to travel with Princess Toadstool to the Mushrrom Kingdom and help her with her plight. I shall remain here to protect Hyrule until your safe return. Link nods. Navi: hey…listen… We won't disappoint you Princess. ( The Zelda victory theme from Melee plays.) A text box appears: The hero of time is at your command. Now your advwenture truly begins! The heroes are seen leaving Hyrule Castle with the main Zelda theme playing. They enter a nearby portal as the theme fades out. The scene fades to black. New Chapter begins. *Note: performing this option will give the player Link, but not Zelda. And you hear Navi talk again. Obviously the player will want to say yes. Here's what will happen: Zelda: You're right. The fate of Hyrule rests in Link's and my hands. Which is why I'm leaving with Princess Peach in a preemptive strike against the forces of evuil. If I'm correct I'll be saving Hyru;le from peril once and for all. Gannon may be defeated, but there are other evul forces at work. I'll stop them all. I'll see the day when Gannon is stopped for good and Hyrule knows peace and prosparity for the remainder of her days. That is my fondest wish and my destiny as a Princess to fulfill. Peach wants the same thing. Foer her kingdom. No more threats from Bowser and safety and prosparity fior all her people. The threat of evil stiops now. Hyrule and the Mushroom Kingdom shall unite forces and we will vanquish evcil once and for all. ( The Zelda victory theme from melee plays) A text box appears and says: Way to go! The "Princess of Wisdom Zelda" and the Couragous "Hero of Time" Link have choisen to lend you their strength. They will be a most val uable assett indeed. Our heroes exit the castel ( Zelda Theme starts playing) and head towards a portal. They enter the portal (The Zelda theme fades out as the scene fades to black. Our heroes return to Professor E. Gadd's Lab. E. Gadd: My back so soon? Peach: You told us to be remember Professor? E. Gadd: Yes… hm well… uh… where's Lui… FLASH! Luigi! You're soaking wet. What happened? Luigi speaks. E. Gadd: You say the portal just closed up. Hm. This is troubling. Most troubling indeed. In any event It's good to see you're all here unharmed. DK speaks. Uh… yes it's good to see you too. DK one arm hugs the professor. The Profesors face is blue. Ugh… good indeed. Care for this? He hands DK a bananna. DK is now happily jumping up and down. Yes it's so nice of you to join our cause. Princess. I see you have brought back your heroes as well. Peach: Yes Professor. This is Princess Zelda of Hyrule. Zelda: Pleased to meet you Professor. Peach: And with her is … Navi: Link, Listen, This is the scientist who requested our aid. E. Gadd: Oh my a little talking butterfly. How interesting. Navi: Hey I'm no butterfly. I'm Navi, Link's personal fairy assistant. He's fortunate to have me around you know. Why once he was the only boy in Kokiri village who didn't have a fairy. It really is such a sad tale. Why I rember when… Zelda: Calm down little sprite. We need to jknowe what's going on here. Navi: Right. Link. Get ready to listen. Are you listening? Listen Link. E. Gadd: Right. Let me first start off by saying Link. We owe you our gratitude for coming here. Without your heroic skills and abilities we may not surrive this invassion. Enemies have not only invaded opur world, but yours as well. Even nowe they grow in number. Soon we may not be able to stop their growth. Soon they may take over all worlds, no whole universeres, which could potentially result in… Peach: Uhm… Excuse me Professor? E. Gadd: Yes Princess? Princess Peacxh: Link and Zelda are already aware of the growing danger. You just need to tell us how to stop it. E. Gadd: Oh right than. Yes I suppose I did get off topic there huh? Navi: I followed you. E. Gadd: Thank you butt… er little sprite. Nsvi: Navi E. Gadd: Navi. Hm.. Interesting. Peach: What is it Professor? E. Gadd these readings. According to my calculations the length of the portals are shortening. This is indeed a probl;em. We have less time to gather heroes and you all have to… Zelda: Have to what Professor? E. Gadd: Travel into space. Everyone gasps. Uh don't worry though fortunately I have a little something in hand to help you all out. Behold. Hje presses a button on a remote control and a wall panel opens up revealing Zelda: Are those space suits? E. Gadd: Sure are. Nifty huh? Peach: But professor when did you start desiging space suits? I thought your work uinvolved the supernatural and paranormal. E. Gadd: It dodsse. It does. But the Mario bros. Must be ready to travel anywhere at all times and I figured sooner or later they may need to be equipped to travel through space. So I've secretly been working on designing these special space suits for the bros. And aoll the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach: All of our citizens? E. Gadd: Well sure. It's always good to be prepared. I mean what if some day Bowser figures out a way to send all the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom into Outter space while he's on one of his missions to capture you? That could happen. Peach: Professor. Outer Space? Even Bowser wouldn't be crazy enough to launch all of us into outer space. Besides Could you imagine Mario flying around in outer space with Yoshi trying to save me and Luigi? Boy the notions you come up with sometimes. You're so silly Professor. E. Gadd: Well in any event I've managed to create costumes for all of you and I may have a spare for Link and his traveling companions here. Ah yes here we are everyone gear up. Scrteen fades to balck. Scene opens again with everyone in their space suits. ( The suits are the ones from Space Land from Mario Party 2.) These specially designed suits will be able to stand the atmospheric pressure of the Planet Zebes. There you must find the one called Samus. Peach: Samus? We now see a flashback cutscene of Ridley destroying the Mushroom Kingdom. Ridley: Flee. Flee in terror! I've only just begun. He blows something up. My tyranny over this land will not end until you surrender Samus to me. Toad: Ah! What's a Samus? Toad: I don't know. Do you? Toad: No. Ridley: Fools! Do not play dumb with me. I was informed she's hiding here. Now wherte is she? He shoots more beams. Toads: AAAAAHHH! Scene flashes back to now. Peach: That creature… it demanded Samus. Where is it now? E. Gadd: It said it had other matters to attend to, but that it would return. Zelda: Than our mission is clear. Whoever this Samus is we need to find him and fast. Maybe we can use him to lure that creature back here and than we'll spring an ambush ion it. E. Gadd: Sounds like the best solution we've got. Peach: I Agree we need a plan but… we can't just use Samus for our own personal gain. First we'll have to gain his trust than maybe he'll agree to fight for us. Zelda: Agreed. The problem is we don't know what Samus looks like. Do you know Professor? E. Gadd: I 'm not sure. That I'm afraid you'll have to discover for yourselves.

You thought that was long? You aint seen nuthing yet brutha! BRUTHAAAAaah! That pun was for you Sevenstitch!

Now than. Onward with today's chapter...

Chapter 4: Hot Date on Brinstar

An alarm goes off. The planet Zebes is crumbling with debris everywhere. Samus comes entering through a door. Debris flys everywhere. Samus dose a tumble avoiding a falling boulder. Samus looks around.

Samus: I have to get out of here.

Samus darts off to the left. The alarm is heard in the background "Evacuate immediately! Evacuate immediately! " A countdown sequence is heard in the background with all sorts of alarm noises.
Samus enters many rooms encountering space pirates along the way. Eventually Samus makes her way to an elevator shaft. The evelvator takes her to higher ground. Battling her way through more enemies and maze-like corriders Samus enters a room where she must jump up multiple platforms to reach a safe exit beforer the planet explodes. The pirates will not make this task easy, but Samus knows shwe must prevail. Meanwhile we see our heroes arriving on Zebes using Zelda's magic.

Peach: Eek! Falling debris is everywhere and it almost hit Peach. Zelda hit it with a magic blast though. The heroes are now running through a door . What do you think is going on?

Zelda: I don't know, but I don't like the sounds of it. Let's find Samus and get out of here fast!

Luigi is in the front of the pack he is seen running ahead and just at that same moment Samus is exiting a door. With Samus running right and Luigi left they collide.

Luigi: Oof!

Both are knocked back. Luigi lands on his keester while Samus rolls backward and rolling in a crouched position, readies her gun. She points it at Luigi.

Luigi: Wah!

Samus: Where did you…Never mind. This place is set to explode. I'm getting out of here and I suggest you do the same.

Samus runs past Luigi and the other heroes now.

Peach: Hey what's going on?

Samus: No time to explain. Just follow me out of here! Quickly before it's too late! The heroes chase after her. They all run to her ship. Everyone get in! There's not much time left.

Everyone goes running toward the ship. Everyone boards the ship except Luigi. The ship is closed. Luigi is now panicing running back and fourth.

Luigi: Oh no!

Just than the top hatch opens and we see a grappling beam come out from the top. It grabs Luigi by his leg flinging him in the air and pulling him safely into the ship. Now Torkorios and etecoons are seen running by. They board a smaller ship next to Samus. The ship starts rising. We see Samus from the inside of her ship looking down out her window watching the creatures safely exit.

Samus: Good luck my friends.( We now see a close up of Samus's face) I'll never forget you. A tear is running down her cheek.

Just than we see Samus's ship leaving an exploding Zebes and popstar is seen in the distance.

Samus: Is everyone okay.

Peach: Yes

Luigi: Oki doki

Yoshi: Yoshi

DK: Monkey noises.

Zelda: We're all well thanks to you.

Samus: Who are all of you and how did you all arrive on Zebes?

Peach: It's a long story. You see…

An explantion is giving...

Samus: So that's how you found me.

Luigi: speaks.

Samus: Now you need my help in defending your kingdom?

Zelda: Not just our Kingdoms, but maybe the whole universe. We don't know how vast this threat is.

Samus: This all sounds so strange. In any case I don't know if I can help you.

Peach: You can't, but you must! We can't protect ourselves from Ridley! without you...

Samus: Ridley! You know of Ridley?

Peach: Well he attacked my Kingdom without warning.

Samus: Ridley attacked your Kingdom. unfanthonable. Why would Ridley target an innocent Kingdom when I'm the one he wants? What could possibly be his moitive?

Peach: We don't know. Someone told him you were at our Kingdom. He attacked us thinking we were hiding you.

Samus: How did you survive?

Peach: He left stating that he would return.

Samus: Than…sigh… it would seem I'm the cause for your troubles.

Zelda: It's alright how could you have known?

Samus: Still if I had defeated him back at Zebes, instead of carelessly allowing him to escape, he may not have attacked your civilization. Ridley willl not get away with this injustice. I must atone for my mistakes. I'll help you track Ridley down and I swear I will defeat him once and for all this time!

Peach: There's something I don't understand. Why do you and that Ridley creature want to fight so badly?

Samus: It's always been a priority for the Galactic Federation to take him down so his tyranny throughout space will end and he will finally be served justice. However for me, it's not just about the mission. It's personal. Ridley has taken more from me than anyone could ever know. It's time I paid him the favor. I've waited along time to bring him down I won' let the opportunity slip by the next time we meet.

Scene ends...

Well that's it folks. Enjoy. stay tuned for Chapter 5: The Mysterious Star Warriors. I'll warn all of you now it's a long one that covers much history about Kirby's orgin and the star warriors. Until next time this is Makermatic21 saying... KEEP ON SMASHING!!!

[Thumbtacks]

You thought that was long? You aint seen nuthing yet brutha! BRUTHAAAAaah! That pun was for you Sevenstitch!

[StarSock64]

I suggest avoiding nintendo fanfics altogether

First of all, there's so many nintendo fanfics out there that nobody really wants to stop and read them
Second of all, nintendo games tend to consist of no talking or little phrases and whatnot. Your dialogue is very likely to be awkward. And, well, it is.

I know you like nintendo, but it's just not good for this kind of thing. I think you would grow more and everyone would appreciate your work more if you did something original.

[Rosencrantz]

It's still kind of nice to see someone making a story like this and not totally flip out because people are expressing their dislike for it. It's pretty refreshing, and I can tell you're a pretty likeable guy just because of this c:

Though, sadly, fanfics are pretty much the lowest forms of creative writing. Then you put this in a script style, which is extremely hard to do effectively despite looking so simple.

TO BE COMPLETELY FAIR, THOUGH, I shouldn't tell you to stop writing fanfiction altogether; in fact, writing fanfiction is actually a really good way to develop really important creative skills that you would need in real-world scenarios, since you're essentially making paracosms. However, you would probably be better off creating more original tales with original settings, original characters, and various other original things that would really help you flex your mind more. Fanfictions admittedly have constraints for you to work around, and being able to work around constraints is a really important ability to possess, though doing more original works will help you develop your own constraints - and therefore teach yourself to predict constraints through defining what you think SHOULD be constraints (also important in real life).

It just wouldn't be too good to try and present them in a serious manner, though, since people tend to not take them seriously

[ThePortalGuru]

I suggest avoiding nintendo fanfics altogether

This. Nobody ever became a successful author by writing a terrible piece of fanfictio-



Well shit.

[El Loco]

Instead of taking the easy way out and simply calling your work out and being a dick like the others,
I'm going to be constructive. Well to be honest this whole story isn't that bad I mean you tried with this one and that's really what matters.
If you enjoy doing it by all means keep doin' your thing.  But well there are some areas which I felt I should give feedback upon which I should let you know. 

Spoiler

In the beginning you kind of delve too deep into the Mario universe that I was confused as to why it was titled what it was, then it seemed way to rushed and weird when all the Metroid and Earthbound enemies showed up. So I suggest you start it with something other than just Mario and Luigi getting a letter. Plus a party being wrecked by Bowser seems so typical in this story making the reader feel like "ugh this shit again" (much like Team Rocket started becoming) I feel Bowser shouldn't be directly the cause to the subspace opening up alone though he should be part of a bigger plan involving all the villains in each universe. The fact that Mario gets kidnapped by some mini-Mario's makes it weird when the other enemies show up making it seem monotonous as if you have a mess of enemies just going on. I feel you could pull this concept of the mini-Mario's off if it all comes together in the end, since your current point of the story seems loose as if it's all improvised directed plot, though I do understand how it usually goes like this in the beginning of a story, and I have a feeling it feels like this since you may have something bigger planned. My biggest complain though is the fact that you chose to make Mario, Luigi and even Yoshi's speech inaudible to the reader yet not to the characters. Now this concept works for the games yet not for a dialogue based script, it would even work for a narrative, but it gets annoying in script since you basically have a silent character on stage who's not even saying anything but exclamations, I do understand Yoshi though but by now you have too many mumbling characters that you might as well not include him. So I do think you should change that. Also a big complaint I feel as through whether it should be a narrative instead of a script since by chapter 3 you have so many inaudible characters DK and Diddy and Luigi still mumbling to the point where he just sounds like a retard. You say to disregard the small details but in cases like this we need them to see what the hell is going on. Towards the end though I feel the story is getting monotonous as now we have all these silent characters and everything seems like its copied from a videogame and pasted onto the story and it becomes predictable you should never make your stories travel in a pattern because that's usually what bores people is predictability. I imagine Samus would team up with them now at this point, and it would keep going like that til they have enough people show up and beat Bowser. With the whole thing involving Mario's universe and Zelda suddenly caring to help. I feel as if Peach shouldn't be the bearer of bad news in this unknown land and suddenly convincing them their in danger when it hasn't been presented. It's weird how upon arrival they get to Link then Zelda and now everyone's  back at E. Gadd's like its some kind of a reunion.

Try reworking the plot and it's element take what I said and work with it. Think of these as drafts to the actual story, write a big plot down, and how it would go through then put the whole thing down right. If anything try putting this as a comic if you can't draw try sprite comic if you're not skilled enough to make it eye-popping, work on your writing to make it more vivid and less fluid since right now your story feels like water, watching a bland stream trying to see where it goes and it just keeps coming back to the same point.

[Gors]

Finally, my last drop of criticism is that you're taking this too seriously.

Let's place ourselves first. We're on the internet; we are in a game-based forum; the people around here joke regularly--we're a very laid-back community. Writing this huge wall of text is like, the worst idea ever because no one is going to bother reading all of it. People in general usually reads short stuff; if your text fails to 'catch' the readers on the first paragraphs, they'll simply stop reading and go to a more interesting topic. This is how this forum works, as well as many others.

Now, add to the fact that we have a dislike for fanfictions, let alone game-based ones. This type of fanfic is usually terrible, tired, annoying and uninteresting, as well as nonsense. We simply won't take it seriously because it is yet another fanfic from the internet.

More than missing on the text type and plot, you also missed the readers. This (maybe) would have a better reception in a fanfic-based site, but really, putting this on tSR will not give you good results.

PLEASE NOTE THAT criticism is not a 'bad result'. We might not like this kind of text, but we still can give proper criticism. So even if they're bitter, read them, analyze and improve. I'm just saying that this is not really the best place for this, heh

I suggest, like many others, to abandon fanfics for your own good; a piece 100% yours can be full of mistakes, but it's still yours and that's what we, tSR, enjoy the most. We'd rather have an original work than NINTENDO ALL STARS FANFIC #1209381309475064267.

[El Loco]

Finally, my last drop of criticism is that you're taking this too seriously.

Let's place ourselves first. We're on the internet; we are in a game-based forum; the people around here joke regularly--we're a very laid-back community. Writing this huge wall of text is like, the worst idea ever because no one is going to bother reading all of it. People in general usually reads short stuff; if your text fails to 'catch' the readers on the first paragraphs, they'll simply stop reading and go to a more interesting topic. This is how this forum works, as well as many others.

Now, add to the fact that we have a dislike for fanfictions, let alone game-based ones. This type of fanfic is usually terrible, tired, annoying and uninteresting, as well as nonsense. We simply won't take it seriously because it is yet another fanfic from the internet.

More than missing on the text type and plot, you also missed the readers. This (maybe) would have a better reception in a fanfic-based site, but really, putting this on tSR will not give you good results.

PLEASE NOTE THAT criticism is not a 'bad result'. We might not like this kind of text, but we still can give proper criticism. So even if they're bitter, read them, analyze and improve. I'm just saying that this is not really the best place for this, heh

I suggest, like many others, to abandon fanfics for your own good; a piece 100% yours can be full of mistakes, but it's still yours and that's what we, tSR, enjoy the most. We'd rather have an original work than NINTENDO ALL STARS FANFIC #1209381309475064267.

Wait is this directed towards my review? You gotta point though I feel as if he's not bringing anything new to the table. But I feel like if he's not doing well enough in this wouldn't a completely custom tomorrow be harder and less enjoyable for him? I feel we shouldn't discourage him and he should maybe do this for himself. He'll get better over time.

[Makermatic21]

I suggest avoiding nintendo fanfics altogether

First of all, there's so many nintendo fanfics out there that nobody really wants to stop and read them
Second of all, nintendo games tend to consist of no talking or little phrases and whatnot. Your dialogue is very likely to be awkward. And, well, it is.

I know you like nintendo, but it's just not good for this kind of thing. I think you would grow more and everyone would appreciate your work more if you did something original.

How are you StarSock64? I'm back from vacation and am pleased to see so many responses to my work. I intend to respond to everyone; good comments or bad, starting with you since you were one of the first. Okay in response to you:

You are right. There are numerous amounts of Nintendo fanfics out there; and with good reason: Not only myself, but many many people still love/believe in Nintendo; despite their recent shortcomings in the 2000 era. If no one were reading these fanfics like you say, than there wouldn't be so many out there on the web. Somebody must be enjoying these.

In response to dialogue issues; you are absolutely right. Nintendo characters do not talk often, making this whole story-telling thing a major challenge. In fact the most vocal characters in my story; well that will be in my story, is the Star Fox team. I only base dialogue off of my own interpretation of the characters. I'm not saying it's right or wrong I just present them the way I feel they should be presented and as acurate to the character as humanly possible. Characterization is the most cruical part since Nintendo's characters are so diverse, unique, and overall amazing. ( Thanks Shiggy!)

Finally in response to your statement about submitting original material on these forums...

I have some ideas in mind... though I hope you guys like aliens, ninjas, samuris, and clowns